I'm very excited as I've lined up interviews with all four Championship Game head coaches! First up is is Jags coach Doug Marrone. Coach Marrone, welcome and thanks for stopping by!
"It's great to be here, Imp."
Pittsburgh Stoolers Coach Omar Epps!?!?! What are you doing here? Where's Doug Marrone?
"'Marrone means 'brown' in Italian. My skin is brown, I pretend to speak Italian to chicks all the time, I don't see what your issue is."
My issue is that your team lost, sir. We were gonna interview the winners today. Did you....do something to Coach Marrone?
"I can't tell you that it's confidential, anyway how's your sex life?"
"Well, I'm a two-dimensional internet meme, so we've had some issues."
Uh ah hey! That's none of his damn business!!! Alright Omar since I've got you here, why don't you tell me what was up with the stupid onside kick! You had 2 timeouts and the 2-minute warning!
If I err, Im always going to err on the side of action in an effort to win. My guys know that about me. I think more importantly them knowing that about me, they expect that from me. I dont fear failure. Im going to do whats required to pursue victory, even if it comes across as unconventional. Im certainly not going to steer away from decision-making for fear of ridicule. Those guys put a lot on the line when we step into stadiums to play. I, in turn, am responsible for putting a lot on the line and embrace doing so. I understand when things dont work out and the criticism thats associated with it. I embrace that. But I go to work with men every day that lay a lot on the line when they step in stadiums as well. Im just going to provide the same efforts that they provide me.
Excuse me, did you just repeat the nonsense answer you gave to ESPN?
"I sure did!! Ok ok you want to know the truth? The thing is I'm so smug and arrogant that I give off fumes, and I got high off of em, ok? I was outta my mind, high on my own supply! You happy now, White boy? Pleased with yourself for taking the Black coach down a peg?"
Woah! Where's this hostility coming from, Omar? I actually think you're a fine coach but this was a foolish call is all I'm saying.
"I'm tired of all yall armchair quarterbacks second guessing me. And if I hear one more cracka say 'Dilly Dilly' I swear to God, I'm gonna lose it!"
"Preach it! My proud brutha!"
"Go play in traffic, boy! Ain't nobody here talkin to you!"
"But I was just..."
"You was just about to shut your mouth before I shut it for your ."
"Yarr, beat it Colon, you promisied to stop interrupting. Imelda, take the lad home, it's past his bedtime."
"But it's morning! Besides, I'm a grown man!"
"Could have fooled me."
"Come on Colon, I'll braid your hair. Before you ask though, no, this doesn't mean I'm your mommy now."
Well, I may as well continue interviewing the losing coaches from last week, I was lying anyway, I couldn't get Belichick. Saints Coach Sean Payton, come on down!
"All he had to do was tackle him, time would have expired. He was right there."
Yeah, that was a tough way to go out. So, are you guys gonna re-sign Brees or what? Does he have another couple years in him?
"He was right in front of him. How?"
Uh Coach? Are you ok?
"Why? God? Why hast thou forsaken us? Does our team name offend thee?"
"Ahhhh looks Coach Payton has a touch of that flu that's going around, feel better buddy. Tennessee's Mike Mularkey and Altana's Dan Quinn are here. How's it going, gentleman?"
"Who are we? Why are we here?"
Uh....good point, I don't have anything to say to you guys anyhow.
"Yarr, are we done for the day then? It's time for my mid-morning Pink Squirrel.
"Dilly Dilly!!"
"Don't say I didn't warn your !"
"What's this foul red liquid coming forth from mine chest cavity? This isn't Bud Light®, I'm not supposed to promote other drinks......"
"Oh my God, he's dead!!! Lady M can't you do something for him?"
"Sure, very easily."
"Well then?"
"Hmm? Oh I'm not gonna do it though. I'm also tired of hearing 'Dilly Dilly'."
"Pardon me, I thought I heard someone mention feet eariler. I like feet. Do you guys want to talk about feet?"
"You better use them feet of yours to run the hell away before pop a cap in that obsese cracka hiney! Ask Mr. Dilly if I'm bluffin'."
"Mr. Dilly, is he bluffing? Mr Dilly? Mr. Dilly? What's that red stuff on his...oh, well cya!"
Trolls need food to live, let them starve
I am torn. I want maximum pain for the nfl which would be Minn/Jack.
But then they could blame the inevitable 2 digit % drop in ratings on small market teams in the SB.
So I guess the only way to make the point is NE/Philly
Boycott. Will not support America hating scumbags.
The Giants showed (twice) what the blueprint is for beating Brady’s bunch and Coach Marrone tried to implement that a few times in Buffalo...
Now he has the players to pull it off. Jags 24 - Patties 16
After last Sunday, it is clear that God is on the side of the Vikings. Vikes 30 - Eagles 13
Vikings
Patriots
The IceQueens and the Jagoffs in TBO (The Big One) would be nice just for the TV ratings debacle it would create, I find it hard to pack against a Meeeeeeee-chigan Man.
History says I should pick the Eagles but, the ‘Queens can now start the chant: “One for the Thumb!”.
Truth be told, I miss Fran Tarkenton and Bud Grant.
Patriots
Vikings
Jags
Eagles (although I hope the Vikes beat the crap out of them)
NFL & ORGANIZED CRIME
1- https://www.sandiegoreader.com/news/2012/jul/04/citylights1-nfl-dirty-secret/#
What is with Joe Buck’s 2-tone hair? At least we don’t have to see it during the game.
Thanks for the ping. Good work on the thread. : )
I quit watching all NFL football after the “wardrobe malfunction”. What got me started down that path was the Lions ineptitude. I quite them about 25 years ago. I couldn’t waste my Sundays anymore. They last had a championship in 1957 (I was a 7 year old fan.).
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLpfbcXTeo8