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Harry Potter chapter written by bots is magically terrible
C-Net ^ | December 12, 2017 | BY GAEL FASHINGBAUER COOPER

Posted on 12/13/2017 11:59:58 AM PST by Swordmaker

Quit eating Hermione's family, Ron, and what's with the Hufflepuff House pig?


Is there a spell that can write more Harry Potter books that aren't robotic-sounding?
Warner Bros

J.K. Rowling, you're in no danger of being replaced any time soon.

The bright Muggles at Botnik Studios trained predictive keyboards (one for narration, one for dialogue) on all seven Harry Potter books and produced a brand-new chapter about the young wizard. And great sizzling dragon bogies, is it awful.

"Our web keyboard app analyzes text files and offers the most common word sequences as suggestions to the human user, to help them write in the style of the source material," Botnik CEO and co-founder Jamie Brew told CNET. (There's a David Bowie-lyric version too.) "Then a bunch of writers in the Botnik community got together in an online chat room and pitched lines they wrote using the keyboard. Our editorial team cobbled these fragments together into the full chapter we posted today."


We used predictive keyboards trained on all seven books to ghostwrite this spellbinding new Harry Potter chapter https://t.co/UaC6rMlqTy pic.twitter.com/VyxZwMYVVy— Botnik Studios (@botnikstudios) December 12, 2017

Even the book title the bot constructed is hilariously horrible: Would you line up at a Barnes & Noble at midnight to buy a copy of "Harry Potter and the Portrait of What Looked Like a Large Pile of Ash"?

There are plot twists Rowling never imagined. Ron Weasley "immediately began to eat Hermione's family," while wearing something called a "Ron shirt." Hufflepuff House has a pig that pulses like a large bullfrog. Ron "was going to be spiders. He just was." One of Hogwarts' passwords is "BEEF WOMEN." And not to spoil the ending, but Harry falls down a staircase "for the rest of the summer" before issuing an overconfident warning.

"The reaction has been great," Brew told CNET. "I think my favorite response so far is this amazing art by character designer Elsa Chang."


"The pig of Hufflepuff pulsed like a large bullfrog. Dumbledore smiled at it, and placed his hand on its head: 'You are Hagrid now.'"https://t.co/Z4zn1aU5Yc pic.twitter.com/mScsGCWiuy— Elsa Chang (@ElsaSketch) December 12, 2017



TOPICS: Computers/Internet; Humor; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: ai; bots; harrypotter
Hoooo, boy is this bad! Where does one go to option the nose Clothes Pin franchise? If this is what AI can do, we have nothing to worry about! So bad it's hilarious!




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1 posted on 12/13/2017 11:59:59 AM PST by Swordmaker
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To: Swordmaker

Couldn’t be much worse than the real thing..................


2 posted on 12/13/2017 12:04:47 PM PST by Red Badger (Road Rage lasts 5 minutes. Road Rash lasts 5 months!.....................)
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To: Swordmaker

“Death to the adjective!” —Ernest Hemingway


3 posted on 12/13/2017 12:05:51 PM PST by onedoug
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To: Red Badger
Couldn’t be much worse than the real thing..................

Well, it's not as long... that's a decided improvement.

4 posted on 12/13/2017 12:06:27 PM PST by Swordmaker (My pistol self-identifies as an iPad, so you must accept it in gun-free zones, you racist, bigot!)
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To: Swordmaker
"Not so handsome now," thought Harry as he dipped Hermione in hot sauce.

Must not have been a fresh clam.

5 posted on 12/13/2017 12:15:23 PM PST by Sirius Lee (In God We Trust, In Trump We Fix America)
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To: Swordmaker

No better than “The Policeman’s Beard is Half-Constructed” http://www.ubu.com/historical/racter/index.html , computer-generated and published in 1983. (I recited/performed one of its poems in high school art class, much to the bewilderment of fellow students.)


6 posted on 12/13/2017 12:26:19 PM PST by ctdonath2 (It's not "white privilege", it's "Puritan work ethic". Behavior begets consequences.)
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To: Swordmaker

It apparently works for Harlequin Romances, but perhaps that audience is even less discerning.


7 posted on 12/13/2017 12:42:25 PM PST by calenel (The Democratic Party is a Criminal Enterprise. It is the Progressive Mafia.)
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To: Swordmaker
Too bad Andy Warhol isn't around.
He could take shit and make people believe it was art, or too afraid to say otherwise.

8 posted on 12/13/2017 1:31:40 PM PST by BitWielder1 (I'd rather have Unequal Wealth than Equal Poverty.)
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To: BitWielder1
Too bad Andy Warhol isn't around.
He could take shit and make people believe it was art, or too afraid to say otherwise.

Warhol could take OTHER graphic designer's work, say the guy who designed the Campbell's Soup can, blow it up, and claim it as his own, because it's, er, Pop Art. . . not stolen from someone else. Another would be the photographer who took a Black and White portrait of Marilyn Monroe. . . Warhol takes that photo, ads different colors and makes a collage of six of them and says that, too, is Pop Art, and sells it for millions. Art critics go Gaga over these "artworks" but I just Gag! Has he ever done anything not derivative of someone else's work?

9 posted on 12/13/2017 3:39:13 PM PST by Swordmaker (My pistol self-identifies as an iPad, so you must accept it in gun-free zones, you racist, bigot!)
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To: Swordmaker

They used google search complete?


10 posted on 12/13/2017 4:09:34 PM PST by Oztrich Boy (don't forget to mouse your sisterhooks)
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To: Swordmaker

I couldn’t tell the difference.


11 posted on 12/13/2017 8:07:22 PM PST by Trillian
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