Some have rich boyfriends.
Would blond male jokes be 'racist'?
Blond or Blonde?
Before the grammar/spelling police show up!!!
The words blond and blonde come from the French and follow somewhat the French pattern. Blond (without the e) is used to describe males, mixed gender, or uncertain gender. Blonde refers to women or female gender.
In modern use, blond is sometimes used for female as well as male, but blonde is preferred for female.
No, blond male jokes would not be ‘racist.’ They just wouldn’t be very funny.
They’d mostly have to be “bald” jokes.
Q: Why are there so many blonde jokes?
A: So girls with darker hair have something to do on Saturday nights.
(I’m not blonde or female)
ans. Last years hide and seek champ.
Q: How can you tell that a blonde has done the gardening?
A: The bushes are darker than the rest of the yard.
Then there’s this;
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fXT3Sma4-rg
There’s a song about it,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bO8DjZYiEiU
So this blonde is cruising down the highway when she glances at her gas gauge and sees she is on empty. So she pulls in to the nearest gas station. But, no sooner does she get out the car and slam the door when she sees she has left her keys in the ignition.
She goes into the store, all distraught. However, the guy behind the counter consoles her, saying, ‘Don’t worry, miss, I have a coat hanger. I’ll straighten it out and you can poke it down through the window and unlatch the lock”.
Between tears, she brightens and says “okay, I can do that.”
A few minutes pass, and the guy starts to wonder how she’s doing. He steps up to the door and sees her poking the coat hanger down through the window and the blonde in the passenger seat is saying “No, no, a little to the left, no, a little to the right!”
A blonde called her boyfriend and asked if he would go to her house right away. He saw she had been crying, and was obviously upset.
He asked her why, and she explained she couldn’t do her jigsaw puzzle. He said, “maybe I can help, what is the picture supposed to be?”
She said the picture on the box was a picture of a tiger. That is when she showed him the puzzle pieces laid out on the table, and he said, “put the Frosted Flakes back in the box, we’ll talk later...”
Here’s one of my favorite ones. A man is drowning in the ocean as a shark begins swimming towards him. The man screams and panic “shark! Help!”
A blonde stands on the beach watching all of this in fascination. Finally, the shark reaches a man and eats him. The blonde says boy was he dumb, I knew the shark would not help him.
Allison, a beautiful blonde woman goes to the doctor.
When the nurse asks the reason for the visit she replies that her stomach hurts and pulls up her blouse to show exactly where the pain is.
The nurse is horrified to see that the patients navel is severely bruised.
She gives the patient a gown, closes the exam room door and hurries to speak to the doctor.
Believing the patient is a victim of assault the nurse hurriedly tells the doctor about the bruising and asks if the police should be called.
The doctor calmly asks if the patient is a tall, slender blonde named Allison.
Stunned the nurse can only nod her head.
The doctor smiles and tells the nurse “the police aren’t needed nurse, the problem is Allison’s new boyfriend is also blonde”.
I have been married twice.
Both times to blondes.
Oh the real life things I could tell if I were the malicious type.
I Just tell people I’m a sucker for punishment!
Some have rich boyfriends.
Fortunately, another blond comes up at that moment across the river.
The first blond yells "Hey! How do I get to the other side of the river?"
The second blond yells back.......
"You're already on the other side of the river!"
How can you tell if a secretary is really blonde?
Her monitor will have whiteout on it.
Two blondes were driving to Disneyland. They got off the freeway and went down the exit ramp. They saw a sign that said “Disneyland left’. So they turned around and went home.
I guess that’s a California Blonde joke.
A blonde, Sally, and redhead, Betty, are walking back to the office from lunch.
Betty says, “Oh no” and tells her friend to hurry along.
Out of breath, Sally is concerned, “What’s the matter?”
“Well, I just saw my boyfriend buying two dozen roses in the florists. I was looking forward to a good book and hot bath. I don’t want to spend the evening with my legs in the air.”
“Uh, you don’t have a vase?”
Did you hear about the woman who had bruises all around her belly button?
She had a blonde boyfriend.
HOW SMART IS YOUR RIGHT FOOT?
This is hysterical. You have to try this. It is absolutely true. I guess there are some things that the brain cannot handle.
HOW SMART IS YOUR RIGHT FOOT?
You have to try this please, it takes 2 seconds... I could not believe this! It is from
an orthopedic surgeon.............. This will confuse your mind and you will keep trying over and over again to see if you can outsmart your foot, but, you can’t. It is pre-programmed in your brain!
1. While sitting at your desk in front of your computer, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles...
2. Now, while doing this, draw the number ‘6’ in the air with your right hand. Your foot will change direction.
I told you so! And there’s nothing you can do about it! You and I both know how stupid it is, but before the day is done you are going to try it again, if you’ve not already done so.
Send it to your friends to frustrate them too
A blonde and her husband were in bed, but couldn’t get to sleep because the next-door neighbors’ dog kept barking and barking. Finally the blonde said, “I’ve had enough of this!” She threw the covers aside and stormed out of the bedroom.
A few minutes later the blonde came back. The husband said, “Where did you go? The dog is still barking.”
The blonde replied, “I picked up the dog and put him in OUR yard. Let’s see how THEY like it!”