Commentary: Donald Trump is done

Chicago Trib ^ | Oct 30, 2017 | Garrison Keillor

[upchuck]

When his old campaign manager was indicted Monday, Mr. Trump called me on the phone, crying like a baby, and begged me to endorse him. I said, "You're already president, Mr. President. You were elected." He said, "I'd still like your endorsement." I have a recording of the phone call. It's so sad. Donald Trump is done. He couldn't get elected dogcatcher in New York, his hometown. I was very very nice about it. Very nice. But New Yorkers love dogs and he does not. There are 14 recorded instances of him kicking small dogs, and I have documentary proof of all but two of them.

Plus many other instances of him running around grabbing women's cats. Knocked on the door, grabbed the cat, walked away. Just to show that a famous rich guy could get away with it. Where is the apology? No, the man couldn't even get a job as a school crossing guard in New York. Look at him leading his grandchildren toward the helicopter — thank God there's a Marine there to keep them from walking into the rotor.

[Veto!]

I ran into him in an elevator at a publishing convention in NOLA. He was extremely creepy, sort of sunk into himself, glazed eyes. Just avoiding his public? Maybe, but I had no clue who or what a Garrison Keillor was at the time. And when I found out, I remained unimpressed.