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The Men Taking Classes to Unlearn Toxic Masculinity
New York Magazine ^ | 10/23 | Olivia Campbell

Posted on 10/24/2017 1:21:56 PM PDT by nickcarraway

For some time, Stephen Hicks had felt like something was off. “My relationship ended, then a lot of things started collapsing in front of me,” Hicks says. He began attending therapy, which made him realize that he needed to make a bigger change: “I wasn’t doing really terrible things, but I also wasn’t being the most ideal Stephen I could be,” he says. “The bar is really lowered for cisgender guys.”

So earlier this year, Hicks signed up for the pilot Rethink Masculinity class, a partnership between the Washington, D.C., Rape Crisis Center, Collective Action for Safe Spaces, and ReThink, an organization that works to prevent sexual assault.

The program bills itself as a class where men “learn how social constructs of masculinity harm them and the people around them, and work to construct healthier masculinities.” Or, as Hicks puts it, “It was eight weeks of guys discussing how they can address their actions with better self-awareness and less toxicity.”

“We spoke of emotional labor, consent, violence, communication, empathy, and vulnerability,” he adds, noting that the last subject, in particular, was a struggle for him: “[I was] trained and conditioned to be tough growing up.”

The Rethink program is the latest in a growing number of courses targeted toward people who identify as men, including the Men’s Project at the University of Wisconsin, Masculinity 101 at Brown, and the Duke Men’s Project at Duke. The goal, proponents say, is to help men examine their own biases and behaviors in order to cut down on misogyny and gender-based violence.

There’s no doubt that the problems these classes aim to tackle are pervasive ones — a reality that’s been made especially, painfully clear in recent days and weeks, as the Harvey Weinstein revelations have pushed discussions of sexual assault and harassment to the forefront. But can a class really be enough to chip away at something so deeply entrenched?

“It’s a promising approach,” says Eric Mankowski, associate chair of the psychology department at Portland State University and head of the school’s Gender and Violence Intervention Research Team, “but we don’t know whether they prevent sexual violence. Some studies show promising effects on attitudes and behavior intentions, but a single class is unlikely to undo years of socialization in toxic masculinity.”

For the past 25 years, Mankowski has taught a course titled Psychology of Men and Masculinities, which, he says, “deconstruct[s] how masculinity is socialized as a performative mask rather than a biological imperative.” He argues that the concept of “toxic masculinity” has four main components: suppression of anything stereotypically feminine; suppression of emotions related to vulnerability, like fear, sadness, or helplessness; male domination over women and other men; and aggression.

“From those four distal expectations come the proximal attitudes and behaviors, like ‘I deserve to have access to women’s bodies,’” he explains. “What we don’t know is if it’s more effective to address the distal or proximal ideas and behaviors.” Mankowski says alcohol abuse is a perfect example. “It numbs feelings and allows men to act aggressive. We can effectively address it, but we’re not addressing the underlying issue. It’s functioning to help them display their manhood, so why would they stop?”

“We’ve spent many years addressing survivors and victim behavior, but ethically, and in terms of efficacy, that’s incomplete,” he adds. “We have to address the roots.” And while course evaluations show that his students typically absorb what he teaches, Mankowski notes, that doesn’t necessarily mean that the class is making a real-world difference: “It may change beliefs about gender,” he says, “but does it change behavior?”

It’s not a given, but it’s not impossible, either. Research consistently shows that holding sexist attitudes is associated with gender violence, for example, so it’s not unreasonable to hope that better beliefs can lead to better behavior. Studies have also demonstrated that bystander intervention training — a subject covered in Rethink classes — can be effective at reducing the incidence of sexual assault.

On the other hand, though, these classes are taking on a lot. Trying to undo a lifetime’s worth of lessons about how to act at home, in the workplace, and in public — it’s a lofty goal, especially when so much of what participants encounter outside the classroom contradicts what they learn within it. And some of the desired outcomes — increased vulnerability, more emotional openness — are difficult to measure.

But Hicks argues that these problems don’t negate what the classes can accomplish; the program, he says, isn’t designed as a fix for anything. It’s a step. Granted, it’s a step with limited reach — there’s probably a self-selection bias at work — but it’s a step nonetheless.

Since the class ended, Hicks says, he feels he has “been more deliberate about expressing emotions and making space for people.” (Over the summer, the class facilitators asked Hicks to become a co-director of the program, noting that he had been one of the most vocal participants.)

“You won’t be transformed by a ten-week class, but you’ve got to start somewhere. And ten weeks is better than no weeks,” Mankowski says. Those who are really committed to making a change, though, shouldn’t expect a one-and-done scenario: “The key is continued examination. You will have a difficult time maintaining anything unless you continue working on it.”


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To: mrmeyer

And squat to pee.

Gawd! I’m a chick and my heart goes out to any woman who has to deal with this s**t.


21 posted on 10/24/2017 1:41:32 PM PDT by Maskot (Put every dem/lib in prison...like yesterday.)
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To: E. Pluribus Unum

Ball-less eunichs, that is what they want.

Sorry liberal swine, if you want to cut em off, you are going to have to hold me at gun-point to do it, I am not going to march up a ramp for you and make it easy.

I know this is the EXACT kind of thing Leftists are good at if you ever get your filthy paws on the levers of power (dragging unarmed people into soundproofed rooms where you do the things you usually do when in power) so we will prevent that if we can, and if you do get your hands on the ship of state, we will keep our powder dry.

History has seen your kind before.


22 posted on 10/24/2017 1:41:44 PM PDT by rlmorel (Liberals: American Liberty is the egg that requires breaking to make their Utopian omelette.)
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To: nickcarraway

If only Archie Bunker could see this...


23 posted on 10/24/2017 1:42:04 PM PDT by miliantnutcase
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To: nickcarraway

Bailiff! Whack his pee-pee!


24 posted on 10/24/2017 1:42:26 PM PDT by RckyRaCoCo (FUMSM)
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To: Interesting Times

“Helpful diagnostic hint: if you fret about “being the most ideal Stephen I could be,” and think of yourself as a “cisgender guy,” you probably aren’t suffering from toxic levels of masculinity.”

LOL! You win the thread! (And you owe me a keyboard!)


25 posted on 10/24/2017 1:42:30 PM PDT by bk1000 (I stand with Trump.)
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To: nickcarraway

WWJWS ... What would John Wayne say?


26 posted on 10/24/2017 1:42:41 PM PDT by ThePatriotsFlag (If GOP won House, Senate and Presidency...why are the Democrats still in charge?)
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To: nickcarraway

men taking classes to become feminized wimps ...


27 posted on 10/24/2017 1:44:03 PM PDT by PIF (They came for me and mine ... now it is your turn ...)
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To: nickcarraway

Remember when men used to be men?

Now they are turning them into girls.

(insert eye-roll here)


28 posted on 10/24/2017 1:46:46 PM PDT by Jaded (Pope Francis? Not really a fan... miss the last guy who recognized how Islam spread... the sword.ag)
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To: nickcarraway

> The program bills itself as a class where men “learn how

to take themselves out of the breeding population.


29 posted on 10/24/2017 1:47:22 PM PDT by Flatus I. Maximus (Hillary for Prison!)
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To: PIF

They weren’t men anyway. Oh, they are male, but only in a physiological sense. These “guys” would have to Man Up in order to come close to being low-grade Beta Males.


30 posted on 10/24/2017 1:48:44 PM PDT by Army Air Corps (Four Fried Chickens and a Coke)
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To: nickcarraway

That some expressions of masculinity may be toxic doesn’t mean that masculinity is toxic.
Ditto femininity.

Raping is “toxic”.
Appreciating beauty, and wanting to mate in an appropriate committed relationship, isn’t.
Fighting for the he11 of it is “toxic”.
Aggressively defending one’s dependents and everything needed to care for them isn’t.
Wantonly indulging emotions is “toxic”.
Objectively controlling emotions isn’t.
Abusing others is “toxic”.
Competing for limited resources isn’t.

Note that the above isn’t exclusive to either gender.
And it’s completely possible to properly express the above in different ways depending on the inherent wiring of one’s gender.
(And yes, there are only two genders. Which you’d rather be, or be with, isn’t necessarily anyone else’s concern.)


31 posted on 10/24/2017 1:49:44 PM PDT by ctdonath2 (It's not "white privilege", it's "Puritan work ethic". Behavior begets consequences.)
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To: nickcarraway

Boy the way Glenn Miller Played
Songs that made the Hit Parade
Guys like us we had it made
Those were the days.

Didn’t need no Welfare states
Everybody pulled his weight
gee our old LaSalle ran great
Those were the days

And you knew who you were then
Girls were girls and men were men

Mister, we could use a man like Herbert Hoover again

People seemd to be content
$50 payed the rent
Freaks were in a circus tent
Those were the days

Take a little sunday spin
Tonight I’ll watch the ASTROs win
Have yourself a dandy day that cost you under a fin

Hair was short and skirts were long
Kate Smith really sung the song
I don’t know just what went wrong

THOSE WERE THE DAYS!


32 posted on 10/24/2017 1:50:32 PM PDT by Jaded (Pope Francis? Not really a fan... miss the last guy who recognized how Islam spread... the sword.ag)
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To: nickcarraway

Wow. What country. Where else could you go to a 10 week class on how to be a cuck?


33 posted on 10/24/2017 1:51:29 PM PDT by RKBA Democrat (Do something useful on election day. Like the washing the dishes.)
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To: Interesting Times

Ding! Ding! Ding!


34 posted on 10/24/2017 1:51:51 PM PDT by Bigg Red (Vacate the chair! Ryan must go.)
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To: Interesting Times

Ding! Ding! Ding!


35 posted on 10/24/2017 1:51:52 PM PDT by Bigg Red (Vacate the chair! Ryan must go.)
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To: nickcarraway

What the F is this world coming to??


36 posted on 10/24/2017 1:54:31 PM PDT by pinkandgreenmom
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To: E. Pluribus Unum

Can you really be sure that neutering isn’t part of the graduation requirements? It sounds like an 8-week prep course just for that.


37 posted on 10/24/2017 1:55:45 PM PDT by Bob (Damn, the democrats haven't been this upset since Republicans freed their slaves.)
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To: Jaded

38 posted on 10/24/2017 1:57:16 PM PDT by Fiddlstix (Warning! This Is A Subliminal Tagline! Read it at your own risk!(Presented by TagLines R US))
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To: nickcarraway

Cisgender?...seems more like Sisgender


39 posted on 10/24/2017 2:00:41 PM PDT by Horatio Gates
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To: Eddie01

That’s four words.


40 posted on 10/24/2017 2:10:32 PM PDT by nickcarraway
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