Posted on 12/06/2016 11:08:19 AM PST by conservative98
DEAR man on the street,
I’m writing to ask for your help.
As a female runner, I am constantly aware of my safety when I’m out on an evening run. What is behind me? Do I hear anything strange? Why is that man running towards me? What is making those bushes rustle?
And I am always home before dark.
Author Margaret Atwood said, “Men are afraid women will laugh at them. Women are afraid men will kill them.”
You may think that’s hyperbole, but I promise you, it’s not. Every woman I know has been in a situation at least once in their life when they thought their life was actually in danger.
Can you imagine that?
When we go out running, we are putting ourselves in a vulnerable situation. We’re out of our comfort zone, and often on our own.
While the stories of rape and murder are the ones that gain the most media attention, we’re aware that it’s unlikely to happen to us. Unlikely, but always possible.
What we’re more like to encounter, though, is sexual harassment: catcalls, leering, suggestive comments and gesticulations … the list goes on.
What that harassment does is remind us that we are forever vulnerable. That we can never feel truly safe.
A recent study conducted by Runner’s World found that a whopping 43 per cent of women sometimes experience harassment on the street when they run. That’s in contrast to the 4 per cent of men who experienced the same.
The problem with harassment is that it isn’t just lighthearted banter — and it’s certainly not a compliment. (Has a call of ‘nice tits’ ever been the start of a great love story?) Harassment is all about power, and letting us know we’re in that man’s space.
Why am I telling you this? Because as a man, you fall into one of two categories:
1. You’re a genuinely nice guy who needs to be more aware of this problem
2. You’re a man who makes women feel unsafe when she’s running in public (shame on you!).
Either way, the fact that women feel unsafe when they’re out running in public is directly attributable to men. Victorian teen Masa Vukotic was murdered while out on a regular evening walk. She was in a park, in daylight, only a 500 metres from her home when she was killed. Source: Facebook
So why are all the articles and safety tips aimed at women? Why are we gathering safety groups to run with, running with personal alarms, and cutting our runs short so we’re not out after dark?
Why aren’t we asking men to fix what they broke?
I know, I know it’s #notallmen, but the thing is, it’s some men. Runner’s World reported that it was men in 94 per cent of cases where women felt threatened. And there are enough men out there contributing to this problem to make most women at least wary when they go running by themselves.
The problem is that women can’t tell the difference between those problem men and the genuinely nice guys.
If you’re one of the good guys, you probably don’t think of yourself as intimidating but your presence in certain circumstances can make a woman feel unnerved. If you don’t believe me, ask the women you know. Like many other women in Australia, Masa Vukotic regularly exercised in a local park But being alone she was vulnerable, and she was killed here at Koonung Creek Linear Park, in Doncaster, Melbourne. Picture: Chad Van Estrop
The good news is you’re in a great position to help us to feel more safe when we’re out running. Here’s what you can do:
• Don’t run directly behind us at the same pace. Either overtake or fall behind.
• When you’re overtaking us, say something like, ‘Passing on your left’. And then pass quickly.
• Don’t hang around running trails or paths wearing a hoodie and doing nothing in particular.
• Smile and/or wave as you run past us — we like feeling like we’re part of a community. But ignoring us works fine too, if that’s your thing.
• Don’t stop and chat. Mid-run is no place to strike up a new friendship.
• Keep eye contact to a minimum. Anything longer than two seconds is creepy.
• If you see a woman who could be being harassed, stop and ask if she needs help. At worst, you’re wrong and you feel a little sheepish. At best, you could stop something terrible from happening.
• Tell us if you’ve seen something threatening ahead. Are the lights under the bridge out? We love to know stuff like that.
• If a woman is wearing headphones, and you absolutely must approach her for some reason, do it from the front.
• Don’t ask us for help if your car or bike has broken down. Find someone else.
• Give us a wide berth when you’re passing and share the footpath. Even better, step off to the side. You already have global domination; you can give us a bit of concrete.
• There is no reason to gesticulate towards your crotch. Don’t even scratch yourself until you’ve passed us.
• Don’t spit anywhere near us please.
• If you have a female partner or friend who runs, ask her if she’d like some company.
As for the smaller set of men, who have contributed to this feeling of being unsafe for women everywhere, I have a special set of requests for you:
• Stop leering.
• Stop commenting on our bodies.
• Stop catcalling.
• Stop propositioning us.
• Stop groping us.
• Stop flashing us.
• Stop raping us.
• Stop murdering us.
So please, share the responsibility for making women feel safe, and make the streets a fun place to run again.
I really feel sorry for men in that they have to be subjected to women like this. I wonder what it will be like in a few years when my 16 and 12 year old boys are all grown up.
Funnel Web spiders can bite through a shoe.
I'd have at least considered the possibility that she was running point for a gang of toughs intent on robbing me. You had the benefit of seeing her body-language.
My advice to that female runner is to (1)Get a large protective Dog and(2)Take the headphones off while your out in public.
There are predators out there and it matters not that your a female or a male.If your unaware of your surroundings your just making yourself a victim.
It angers me everyday I see this and people wonder why there are so many muggings.
Darn right. No runner has eye in the back of the head and wearing HEADPHONES will cut of the SOUND of approaching footsteps. Never forget the HEARING as well as SEEING is a critical part of the human defense mechanism.
It’s like a teen blasting the car audio so loud he/she never heard the horn of the approaching truck.
1. You’re a genuinely nice guy who needs to be more aware of this problem
2. You’re a man who makes women feel unsafe when she’s running in public (shame on you!).
I reject the premise right there; that I "need() to be more aware of this problem."
How dare she presume that I, nay, men in general, haven't long since been wearied down into being overwhelmed with guilt over not being 'sensitive enough' to women's 'needs.'
Just an observation. In my personal history, the more dedicated a female runner is, the more obnoxious and nose in the air they become. The progression is almost linear as far as I can see.
Wow......with each passing day, Trump’s victory over Clinton looks more and more like the right decision....Apparently Leftist women are the weakest creatures on the planet..
You had the benefit of seeing her body-language.
I have four adult daughters and I think I somehow carried that “protective father” thing off to her.
Now, that’s what I’m talking about!
By the way, I have completely stopped hiking alone. With the influx of illegals and immigrants into our state the number of rapes has increased dramatically. Some of these rapes have been on hiking trails.
Stuff like this really burns me. I am able to compartmentalize it, but the women who demand full and unconditional equality, then begin making demands on that equality really irritate me.
Very well said! It's a shame that the author got so PC and anti-male at the end. Because most of what she said was good advice. There is nothing wrong with being courteous.
There is a tendency for female athletes to strongly internalize the idea “anything you [men] can do, I can do better”. It’s objectively false, and living with cognitive dissonance can really mess with the mind.
Too many rules, I think I’ll just stay home.
Good luck ladies.
Carry a machete and stop writing silly articles!
WTF? How about, don’t put on skin tight running clothes and go out at dusk to run. Common sense and situational awareness leads to responsibly staying safe. The I wanna do what I wanna do when I wanna do it mentality in this country is amazing.
I agree - Her premise was sound. There are indeed a few freaks out there who prey on women, and good men should be aware of this.
then she goes off on the post-modern, annoying and stupid social justice cliches.
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