Supposin' I offer you a possum as a parley? Will you women folks feel safe then?
Posted on 12/06/2016 11:08:19 AM PST by conservative98
DEAR man on the street,
I’m writing to ask for your help.
As a female runner, I am constantly aware of my safety when I’m out on an evening run. What is behind me? Do I hear anything strange? Why is that man running towards me? What is making those bushes rustle?
And I am always home before dark.
Author Margaret Atwood said, “Men are afraid women will laugh at them. Women are afraid men will kill them.”
You may think that’s hyperbole, but I promise you, it’s not. Every woman I know has been in a situation at least once in their life when they thought their life was actually in danger.
Can you imagine that?
When we go out running, we are putting ourselves in a vulnerable situation. We’re out of our comfort zone, and often on our own.
While the stories of rape and murder are the ones that gain the most media attention, we’re aware that it’s unlikely to happen to us. Unlikely, but always possible.
What we’re more like to encounter, though, is sexual harassment: catcalls, leering, suggestive comments and gesticulations … the list goes on.
What that harassment does is remind us that we are forever vulnerable. That we can never feel truly safe.
A recent study conducted by Runner’s World found that a whopping 43 per cent of women sometimes experience harassment on the street when they run. That’s in contrast to the 4 per cent of men who experienced the same.
The problem with harassment is that it isn’t just lighthearted banter — and it’s certainly not a compliment. (Has a call of ‘nice tits’ ever been the start of a great love story?) Harassment is all about power, and letting us know we’re in that man’s space.
Why am I telling you this? Because as a man, you fall into one of two categories:
1. You’re a genuinely nice guy who needs to be more aware of this problem
2. You’re a man who makes women feel unsafe when she’s running in public (shame on you!).
Either way, the fact that women feel unsafe when they’re out running in public is directly attributable to men. Victorian teen Masa Vukotic was murdered while out on a regular evening walk. She was in a park, in daylight, only a 500 metres from her home when she was killed. Source: Facebook
So why are all the articles and safety tips aimed at women? Why are we gathering safety groups to run with, running with personal alarms, and cutting our runs short so we’re not out after dark?
Why aren’t we asking men to fix what they broke?
I know, I know it’s #notallmen, but the thing is, it’s some men. Runner’s World reported that it was men in 94 per cent of cases where women felt threatened. And there are enough men out there contributing to this problem to make most women at least wary when they go running by themselves.
The problem is that women can’t tell the difference between those problem men and the genuinely nice guys.
If you’re one of the good guys, you probably don’t think of yourself as intimidating but your presence in certain circumstances can make a woman feel unnerved. If you don’t believe me, ask the women you know. Like many other women in Australia, Masa Vukotic regularly exercised in a local park But being alone she was vulnerable, and she was killed here at Koonung Creek Linear Park, in Doncaster, Melbourne. Picture: Chad Van Estrop
The good news is you’re in a great position to help us to feel more safe when we’re out running. Here’s what you can do:
• Don’t run directly behind us at the same pace. Either overtake or fall behind.
• When you’re overtaking us, say something like, ‘Passing on your left’. And then pass quickly.
• Don’t hang around running trails or paths wearing a hoodie and doing nothing in particular.
• Smile and/or wave as you run past us — we like feeling like we’re part of a community. But ignoring us works fine too, if that’s your thing.
• Don’t stop and chat. Mid-run is no place to strike up a new friendship.
• Keep eye contact to a minimum. Anything longer than two seconds is creepy.
• If you see a woman who could be being harassed, stop and ask if she needs help. At worst, you’re wrong and you feel a little sheepish. At best, you could stop something terrible from happening.
• Tell us if you’ve seen something threatening ahead. Are the lights under the bridge out? We love to know stuff like that.
• If a woman is wearing headphones, and you absolutely must approach her for some reason, do it from the front.
• Don’t ask us for help if your car or bike has broken down. Find someone else.
• Give us a wide berth when you’re passing and share the footpath. Even better, step off to the side. You already have global domination; you can give us a bit of concrete.
• There is no reason to gesticulate towards your crotch. Don’t even scratch yourself until you’ve passed us.
• Don’t spit anywhere near us please.
• If you have a female partner or friend who runs, ask her if she’d like some company.
As for the smaller set of men, who have contributed to this feeling of being unsafe for women everywhere, I have a special set of requests for you:
• Stop leering.
• Stop commenting on our bodies.
• Stop catcalling.
• Stop propositioning us.
• Stop groping us.
• Stop flashing us.
• Stop raping us.
• Stop murdering us.
So please, share the responsibility for making women feel safe, and make the streets a fun place to run again.
Correct. Just as one has no responsibility to be kind, courteous, etc. It is a personal choice. There are good reasons to show kindness. And there are good reasons not to show kindness.
For me, the deciding factor is if the person is evil, or just stupid. Again, it's a personal choice.
This was nothing but the vain ramblings of a "hot house flower."
Much of it was. The author didn't tell the whole story (situational awareness, etc.), but she made some sense. Unfortunately, she also tried to score feminist, PC points. A good editor was needed here.
The last thing I remember before he knocked me out was hearing him spit before saying “passing on the left”.
my point
I'm legal as legal could be.
Um, could you tell me where you've ever seen women jogging topless?
Because I, um, think it's about time that I start jogging again.
Regards,
I’m a runner and, yes, I carry while running. This author is a whining little snowflake who gives chicks a bad name. Put your bag girl panties on and take care of yourself.
By the way, I’m more afraid of dogs than men while I’m running. Sexual assaults do occur but are far less frequent than dog bites, at least where I live.
You may think that’s hyperbole, but I promise you, it’s not. Every woman I know has been in a situation at least once in their life when they thought their life was actually in danger.
Quick google search shows that in Canada (US stats not handy) men are more likely to be victims of homicide by 3.5 to 1. (7 men per 100,000/year, vs 2 woman per 100,000 per year).
I will hold my breath and expect a correction and apology from the the article's author...NOT.
Who exactly is she telling not to wear a “hoodie”?
We currently have two males. Our first RR was territorial but once we started taking him fishing with us it made a big difference. When he passed away in 2/2000, we immediately went on a search for a new breeder and found a wonderful boy, who is a champion and the great-grandfather of the two we have today. We also had two other RRs, a rescue male and a female.
We recently brought home a mini Bull Terrier. He will likely top out at 32 pounds. :)
“Why am I telling you this? Because as a man, you fall into one of two categories:
1. You’re a genuinely nice guy who needs to be more aware of this problem”
BS. If I’m not doing it, it’s not my problem. I’m not magically responsible for the behavior of others, and it is sexist to think that I would be just because I’m a man.
“Why aren’t we asking men to fix what they broke?
I know, I know it’s #notallmen, but the thing is, it’s some men.”
Give me a break. Oh, I know “not all women” make false rape allegations, but some of them do. When they get around to doing something about that, maybe I’ll listen to their whining about this.
Neither will it take care of her REAL grievance, which is women who react positively to such flirtations....
I'm always amused by women who complain about men insisting they shave their legs and underarms: as if that would ever occur to a man on his own. Women need to take it up with the other women who adopted the practice to beat out their competition.
So she wants men to look out for her safety while she is jogging in public.
Fine. If I notice her on a particularly dark and dangerous path, and I go up to her and say “Excuse me, Miss, but I really don’t think this is a safe area, perhaps you should run someplace else”, how would she react?
Probably by screaming and cursing at me, I reckon.
There's the rub: You are NOT part of a community. Due to your hateful values, you destroy community with your very existence.
You would better serve community by being at home and making your man a sandwich.
You are an idiot.
Don’t run in parks. Period. Or if you must, make sure it is at a time of day when plenty of people are out. Never, ever at twilight or in the dark. Women jog on the streets in my neighborhood all the time and look perfectly at ease because the streets are busy and full of people.
Men face death from strangers every day as well. No one is safe and everyone should take precautions and use common sense.
Particularly for those who presume it is "society's" job to defend them.
NEWSFLASH! Law enforcement was not developed to make people safe. It was developed to preempt every yahoo from exacting retribution for perceived offenses, making civilization untenable.
LOL, I can see your face turning blue already...:)
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