Posted on 12/27/2015 2:27:50 PM PST by huckfillary
Juniata College, a small liberal arts college nestled in the hills of south-central Pennsylvania, has become the first college in the United States to order the removal of every urinal from campus. The vote by the college Board of Trustees was unanimous. The change was in response to an intense years-long campaign by a little-known, militant feminist group called Chicks Against Dicks (CAD). The group employed numerous tactics including petitions, lawsuits, and the occasional smashing of functioning campus urinals. Juniata President James A. Troha, androgynous but not transgender, was giddy over the vote. In remarks delivered breathelessly, Troha said, “Urinals are an insult to women everywhere. We will not rest until every urinal on the planet is destroyed or removed. I would especially like to thank CAD President Soren Cavendish whose ceaseless efforts carried the day. Because of her efforts, urinals will soon be relegated to museums and socially backward institutions.†Aside from the obvious political infractions associated with urinals and standing to pee, Roy Nagle, Juniata Director of Environmental Hygiene, cited numerous threats to public health by standing to pee. “When men stand to pee,†Nagle said, “they are oblivious to the fact that they are depositing drops of urine, biological microagressions, which may infect anyone within a determined range. Not all, but many women also find the smell of male urine offensive. Urinal cakes, evenm jasmine, are only so effective.†Signicantly, the vote requires, after the removal of the urinals, another vote which would require all males on campus to sit down to urinate. CAD President Cavendish reserved her harshest remarks for the centuries-old practice of men standing to pee. According to Cavendish, “There is nothing more painful to a woman, even more than sexual assault, than the thought of a man standing to pee. It is repulsive and repugnant. No one should be allowed to stand to pee. It is an anatomically-endowed privilege. We will not stop until this odious practice is relegated to the trash cans of history.†To enforce the new restroom codes, men’s room volunteers would issue citations to men caught in the act of standing to pee. First offenders would be required to attend urination reform classes, in which men would taught how to sit to pee. Secondly offenders would suffer the loss of meal swipes.
I would put the seat down and then piss all over it.
The line between satire and reality is very blurry these days.
It’s wintertime, nights are long, and the quad is big and poorly lit.
The other thread just got pulled. This one’s not long for FR either....
nobody at this school has anything better to do than this inane claptrap?
Not news.
You need paragraphs.
And watch me pee all over that mess.
Upright and peeing like a man was meant to.
Yes Granny Clinton’s campaign slogan “Seats down for Hillary!”
Yes Granny Clinton’s campaign slogan “Seats down for Hillary!”
I’ve never heard of Juanita’s College before. Rhodes Scholar candidates, no doubt.
What a giant tempest in a pteapot.
I hope those guys urinate ALL over the seats. Serves the academia leaders for being such BOOBS.
Why not, women do it in public restrooms, “hovering” so they don’t have to touch the nasty seat.
I wonder if Ms. Cavendish, God forbid, should ever experience rape, if she would still find the thought of a man standing up to urinate equally frightening, horrifying, and offensive.
Any alum who donates a penny to that asylum needs to be deported
Kids these days are under a complete mind control assault, 24x7. Somewhat similar to what Pol Pot and the Khmer Rouge put Cambodians through in the 70s.
Where is this going?
Yeah, I have heard about that as well.
The best thing to do would be to transfer out of that college. Who knows where to go though. They all seem to be getting really bad. Way worse than when I was in college.
A urinal uses what, a cup of water to flush? A toilet uses a gallon or two.
I’ll probably caution my kid against attending this institution.
pee in the Quad.
That is probably a good thing.
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