Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
I think the water-sloshing noises are the best things about the sound tracks in all of David Attenborough’s documentaries. Or the bird mating calls...I tend to tune out his voice.
Bill, Frank, and Kathleen are snacking, which means I'll have to vacuum again. Vlad and James are playing a strategy game on the general order of go, only with fences. DP, Pat, and Tom are trying to figure out how to play Carcassonne. Sally and I are making pork wontons.
Elen may be back upstairs with the Stratocaster and her powerful new amp.
Yeah, the bird calls are nice, too. If you start listening to his voice, you could end up Undead.
My buyer did, in fact, find me a new flannel bathrobe without extraneous holes. Maybe I’ll get to wear it someday, after the Freak Summer passes.
I. Am. Cold.
My stomach is upset and I want to lie down.
My daughter sent me a text last night asking when a good time was to come over today. She’s always late in the day. She usually shows up about my bedtime.
She may not come.
I’ve been having so much trouble with this computer, it isn’t funny. I think I’m going to reset it to factory settings.
I’m glad you got a new flannel robe! Next to silk, I think flannel is the best fabric!
I don’t think a silk robe would be very warm, and I couldn’t throw it in the wash.
The pork wontons are okay, but pretty greasy. I’ll let the American Youth eat them. Bill is trying to replace a screw on the patio table (that’s in the kitchen driving me crazy) but he doesn’t know what an Allen wrench looks like.
No but silk in the summer is good! I still have some silk clothing from when I worked, but they’re almost too nice for me to wear any more. Still, I would hate to give them up, just in case.
I think, once my stomach settles down I will cook my Hungry Man dinner. It even has cranberry sauce! And I’ll eat some salad, as well. Pie will be for later.
I have Allen wrenches in so many sizes it isn’t funny! Of course, now I wish I had a bicycle to ride around the property....(where did that come from???)
The sun is shining and there are no clouds but the wind is blowing and that makes it very cold.
The peeps met at the table for a bit this morning, but the wind came up so we dispersed! There are no more leave on the trees, finally. The wind is good for that. Now I can go out and sweep the patio again. Maybe it will stay clean for a week.
That thread about Bristol Palin was beginning to draw the dregs of FR.
I was going to stick with it for a while, but I just couldn’t stand all the snarky comments. I would hate to have seen what last night’s thread looked like.
This is Christmas, fercryinoutloud! Folks are supposed to feel the Love! ;o]
LOL!
Eeeek. ,you said sleep ,not coma.
Yes, there’s lot of gripiness. Here’s my snarky comment: she shouldn’t have had sex when she wasn’t married. However, she did, and nothing’s going to undo it. So I hope she and her children are well and happy, and I hope God brings them a father who put their lives in good order.
In my little corner, the Youth are eating the wontons as fast as I can steam them. We have extra wonton wrappers. There’s a recipe in “Healthy Latin Cooking” for a savory snack baked in wonton wrappers; maybe I’ll make it Sunday morning and take some to hand out after Mass.
Frank and Kathleen need coma sometimes.
I really like water-sloshing. I fell asleep in the Texas State Aquarium once.
When you woke up, was your skin wrinkled?
Yep. Being an unwed mother these days is common, and a way to get started with welfare ~~ as long as the babies keep coming, so do the food stamps and other benefits.
Bristol won’t have to worry about that, but it would be nice if she just didn’t get pregnant again without a husband.
The Yutes are eating the wontons because they are available. Teens have bottomless pits, and must feed the maw whenever possible. The savory snack sounds good!
Heh. I didn’t get to sleep long: an employee turned up saying she’d found Bill, who had been with his Dad. This led to an interesting discussion about how I’d managed to keep track of four children, while he had lost the only one he had ...
Iirc, it had guava paste (which you can get at the Monroe Walmart, because more Hispanics shop there), and cream cheese, and a dusting of chili powder. Heavily sprayed with oil, it crisps up in the oven.
Bristol’s children have a lot of advantages, but nothing replaces the care of your own father. I’m missing mine this year - the way he was before Alzheimer’s. Last year I was still in shock.
Banzai!
Banzai!
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