Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
He must be an impressive nocturnal carnivorous predator, since the owner thought he needed TWO bells.
I lasted until 1900, and was just dropping off when a text came in. As tired as I was, that was just enough to keep me awake for another hour. *sheesh*
98 degrees, S @ 5, 7%, clear. Yep. Summer in the desert!
I want to open my door as my place smells stale, but I don’t want the A/C to cycle while the door is open. I bet my Filtrete is pretty filthy!
My finger seems to always been swollen and sore when I wake up.
I have a few things to do to keep busy this morning, but it’s debatable how many I’ll actually get done, outside of the tire rotation, of course :o|
Good morning. I was up until after 10:00. I still didn’t sleep very well. Maybe tonight I’ll be tired enough.
Looks like I’m the one that needs the coffee this morning. I can’t even find my own mistrakes when I proof read. Go figger.
I’m too tired to notice, too.
Then there was the man who thought the proper translation of “I’m embarassed” was “Soy embarasado.”
In the and of Morning where the foggy-minds lie
One typo to rule them all
One typo to find them
One typo to bring them all
And in the darkness, bind them.
Gender is such a dangerous concept.
And where is Darksheare ...
He was making me type “land” as “and.”
I knew it!
I’m wondering what Looney Toons would have done if they’d come up with the idea for that Yosemite Sam cartoon that began with the words on screen:
“The Youkon, where men are men and women are women.
A darned good arrangement.”
And on WCBS’s “The 80s at 8” show I still hear Madonna explain why she likes San Pedro because it’s a place “where a girl loves a boy and a boy loves a girl.”
How anachronistic.
I remember the 80s, too. That was one of Madonna’s pleasant songs.
Ah, but I was so much older then. I'm younger than that now.
Cat's milk is bad for baby squirrels. Dog's milk is OK.
Well, the queer’an says the next mahdi won’t be born of a woman...
The galaxies are on Orion’s b- b- b-belt...
I took some pork chops out of the freezer and intended to slow cook them because the ones I had otherwise cooked were very tough. I decided that wasn’t enough, so I added three big, tough chicken thighs. Neither the pork nor the chicken was enough to feed me and Charlie, since I always share with him, but then I was stumped about what liquid to cook them in.
I went to Wally’s and got a jar of Alfredo sauce, and that will have to do. So they are cooking. Maybe I should have added potatoes, but I have some biscuits I can bake. At least with the crock pot, I don’t have to wash any dishes — just toss out the liner. :o]
Good one, ArGee. :o]
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