Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
That would have been MUCH less mess. But they had fun with it, at least.
Do you feel like sharing the story of your broken ribs? Dang, Nully! Was this outbound or inbound? Not that it matters, much. The important thing is if you are OK.
Suspended animation at it’s cutest!
Merry Christmas!
Well. After an experimental sip of oregano/coffee, I’ve decided it’s not too bad.
It doesn’t go well with the Cherry Blossom English muffin, but I’ll suffer. I won’t waste either one.
It’s very cold out, and it looks as if we had rain last night and a LOT of snow is on Mt. Charleston and the Sheep Range to our north. Feels like Christmas in Las Vegas!
Of course, there is nothing on TV but kids’ shows so I’m going to be bored a lot sooner than normal. Maybe today is the day I will reformat this thing. Just to have something to do.
Good morning again. We were a reasonable success at our Christmas performance, in spite of the people with allergies and the people who hadn’t practiced worth mentioning. When we got home, we made the children clean their clothing up.
Next, we will have presents. I hope my buyer got me a new bathrobe just like my old one, only without holes in it.
That would be nice, to have an unholey robe. Now I’m excited! LOL! Let me know, OK? :o])
Could be worse, no one was seriously hurt. Cars don’t feel pain and can be easily replaced.
We have abundant snow here.
Just the fact that you’re online makes me feel much better!
*hug*
I hope you’re not in too much pain!
"Totaled" usually means the air-bag deployed. I presume that to be the case, since you said something about ribs.
I hope you'll be feeling better soon, and that someone's insurance other than your own will be putting things to rights for you.
Also, a "Merry Christmas, you filthy animal" from Kevin, of "Home Alone". Well, he was smiling when he said it, anyway.
Take care of yourself, (not to imply that you weren't, of course.)
I don’t exactly know what happened. I was driving on a snow slicked road, maybe 30 MPH, I think somehow I started to drift out of my lane, (or maybe hit a icy patch or something, I just flat out don’t remember!) over corrected, over corrected the over correction went into an uncontrolled spin (I couldn’t get the car to break loose when I was trying to practice recovering from a spin last winter). As I was headed into oncoming traffic the guy approaching me slammed on his brakes and of course, also lost control. I was sliding sideways towards him him. we met in the middle. I was pretty sure he was going to hit me on the driver’s door and kill or severely injure me. Near as I can figure, he hit the left front fender with his right front, spun us both, and we smacked rear fenders together. No damage to either driver side door on my car nor passenger side doors on his.
Airbags deployed. I hit the inside of the door under the side airbag curtain, and as I later discovered, the door post with the back of my shoulder (Although I suppose it’s more accurate to say they hit me!).
He, his wife and kid were unscathed, I was lightly scathed. The forces of the collision somehow locked my door and I didn’t have the wit to figure out it was locked and had a dickens of a time getting it open. A car dealer reached through the open window (I had figured out how to open it to vent out the airbag fumes...) and unlocked it, that made it much easier to open!
Anyhoo, we were, of course, in a zero cell phone reception area, fortunately another passerby activated their OnStar and called it in.
CHP showed up in about 15-20 minutes, Chewed me out for not having chains.
‘How was I to know I needed chains?
He looks up and dryly observes ‘It’s snowing...’
I look up and say ‘Oh, duh.’
‘I have snow tires and 4 wheel drive don’t need chains.’
Apparently in California you do. (Although I’ve been waived through chain check points on other roads)
Didn’t get advised at the border check point (which was closed shortly after I pasted through it, and apparently the flashing lights on the chains required sign were turned on just after I passed it.
I thanked the other driver for not hitting my door and killing me...
Tow truck shows up an hour and a half later, I had already told the other guy he gets dibs because his wife and kid get priority.
They had told the tow truck driver he could tow us both, he couldn’t 4WD and bent axles on both cars prevented it.
The 1st CHP office later apologized for his snarkiness (told him not to worry, sometimes snarkiness is appropriate, and no offense was taken). He then handed me over to his minion, (interestingly enough his minion also apologized for his boss’ snarkiness, without any way of knowing he was snarky to me) who stayed there until the second two truck arrived FOUR HOURS LATER. (The guy who used to tow in that area retired last year...)
Darn near got hypothermia. Just as I was fixin’ to beg him to allow me to sit with him in his nice warm SUV, he shows up at my door (couldn’t open the window, the fire dept had thoughtfully disconnected the battery) told me he’d cleared a space and I was welcome to join him.
We hit it off very well.
So, luck of the Irish, the tow company had a tow going all the way to Reno, and I was able to ride along, and got dropped off on my doorstep, somewhat the worse for wear 12 hours after my adventure started. I had my suit case and Company Computer, which I got two days before, a very exspensive laptop set up with the power, graphics and enough high speed memory to run SolidWorks. I of course had it safely packed in the trunk, right against the fender that got smacked. Haven’t tried to turn it on yet, kinda scared to...
Still need to go back and clean out the car, but that will wait until Monday, as the yard is closed weekends.
I really ache, still need to go to the hospital this morning, uh afternoon, after the kid awakens. He got Fallout 4 and was playing it until the wee hours...
Gosh, Nully. I’m not surprised you don’t remember how things happened. Mild shock, I’m sure, is responsible. I’m so glad you’re safe!
And yes, please do go get checked out. Achiness is part of the aftermath of an accident. The body doesn’t like sudden stops. Inertia says to keep going, and the body says no way.
Twelve hours? Holy moly! I would have been frozen solid, for sure! But then, I’m always fairly cold!
Anyway, I’m so happy you aren’t a holiday statistic. :o])
*hug*
I think that gets a prize in the “could have been much worse” sweepstakes. Angels taking care of you because you’re such a terrific person!
Don’t mix painkillers with alcohol ...
Four and a half hours in the cold. The rest of the time was in heated vehicles.
I had a vehicular adventure last night, but mine was much more fun.
I assembled with the Junior Marauders to go to an IMAX theater at some distance away to see the Star Wars movie in 3D.
Former TeenOne used her electronic navigator device to get us there. I monitored its advice and was not too impressed.
The movie and the movie experience was AWESOME, as anticipated. No, scratch that; it was a lot better than anticipated. Well worth the Dadbucks it cost.
But after the show, when we were ready to make the return journey, the electronic navigator device had decided to on hiatus. We had to deal with getting back home from our distant journey on our own resources.
Not to worry. I was there. We got home safely and in about half the time it took to get there. Go figure. (Now you know why I don’t use electronic navigator devices.)
DP is talking many small boy, some grils, and Tom to see it tomorrow, in 3D but not Imax. I hope to arrange a nap at that hour. I may have to use the heavy artillery: David Attenborough’s “Blue Planet.” It has his soporific voice, tranquilizing music, and peaceful water-sloshing noises.
Even so...I don’t do cold very well, these days.
I can assure you, they will be wound up when they return.
Maybe they’ll be able to go out and exert themselves. Vlad has a new skateboard, his gift from Bill.
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