Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
Wishing you a Joyous Christmas and a safe trip.
Take special care, it’s the other nuts you have to be careful of.
Are we grown-ups?
Why? I won’t be on the road this Chistmas.
Rumour has it.... :)
France 24
Siberian nurse wins truck of coal in weight-loss challenge
MOSCOW (AFP) - A nurse in a Siberian town was in for a holiday surprise Thursday after local authorities presented her with a truckload of coal -- a prize for shedding over 30 kilogrammes through the governor's weight-loss challenge.
Governor Aman Tuleyev of the Kemerovo region -- also known as Kuzbass after one of the world's largest coal basins -- had announced that he would start paying plus-size residents in tonnes of coal in his quest for "healthy people".
After months of skiing, bicycling and rollerblading, a much slimmer Yelena Salnikova of the town of Berezovsky watched a grimy Kamaz truck drive up to her home and dump five tonnes of coal on the ground.
"It's lump coal, it burns very hot," Salnikova said in a report on national television, standing in the snow with a shovel.
"Three buckets would be enough for one day...."
LoL, the Cows approve that message.
Safe Drive, Nully.
Good luck! Tom and his friends have to come over the mountains from Boone through a line of heavy thunderstorms. Should be fun!
It wasn’t any busier than usual at our Walmart. The fitness room was crowded at the gym because the usual exercise classes are cancelled today, but it should be back to normal on Saturday.
Grownup and maturity are two different concepts.
Grow up is just a height reference, maturity is the realm of a good cheese.
DON’T. CUT. THE. CHEESE.
Not to mention that maturity is desireable in moonshine liquor as well.
Best to let it the drowned possums and squirrels to settle overnight before decanting the white lighting. Plus you got some marinated meat at the bottom of the old bath tub. Win - win.
Ah, the voice of experience.
Does the meat freeze after such a pickling or is it “eat by next decade.”
The mental images where horrific. :)
Experience? Well, yes I did spend some time in the West Virginia mountains for a season or two. Mostly the critters died happy jettisoning the smaller passengers that can be easily skimmed off the top along with loose hairs. Then you do your fine filtering before jarring it.
For special gift occasions or commemorative efforts a pickled cardinal or a chipmonk might be left in the jar for a bit of color. All told not much different than all those balsamic vinegars with peppers and such, ‘cept we take out the twigs and leaves...mostly.
Heard some interesting tales of Irish Potcheen making.
;>)
"Malevolence Manifested"
"Impishness Implemented"
"Knavery Knocked-out"
"Shenanigans Sorted"
"Rascality Reified"
.
Hmm. How do you turn it off again?
WOLFERMAN’S came!!! YAY!!!!
All the stuff looks yummy, and I just now had one of the original recipe muffins and slathered it with butter and orange marmalade!
Heaven!!! Woo-hoo!
I couldn’t believe it was so busy at this Walmart at that hour of the day. I told the peeps at the table and they couldn’t believe it, either.
Of course, I’m not going anywhere until Monday. I would go to church, but the meetings don’t start until 1300, and that is far too late for me. In January, they go back to 0900, so I will be able to go more often. I think, because of the ward boundary changes, we have met at all the meeting times but 1500 (0900, 1100 and 1300) in the last year.
“Malevolence Manifested”
“Impishness Implemented”
“Knavery Knocked-out”
“Shenanigans Sorted”
“Rascality Reified”
Hey! That spells Miksr! And that’s what goes into drinks!! ;o])
No not that Key West
Hit it with a baseball bat. Er, cricket bat.
Oh, too bad. I understand it has a warm climate!
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.