Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
w00t!
Yeppers. That’s two big number posts I’ve wasted on actual posts.
I gotta start paying attention.
I solemnly swear that I am about to go to work.
ICYMI: http://www.miamiherald.com/living/liv-columns-blogs/dave-barry/article51119880.html
Dave Barry’s recap of 2015.
Eat more chickn’
I heard a sheep’s teeth are so nasty that even the muzzies won’t kiss them after sex.....
LOL, even head cutters have a limit to the mental anguish they can take.....
I believe you, Bob. I believe everything you say. You are so totally more believable than a houseful of teenaged girls.
Good morning. Merry Christmas! Set a spell, try the coffee ...
LoL just brewed a pot before I head off to Key West.
Good morning! I gave the early-risers blueberry English muffins today. Tomorrow’s early risers (which had better be everyone!!!) will get 50%-off doughnuts.
DP has lost his keys. I supposed I’d better look for them.
I hope you have a wonderful time there. My hairdresser is from Key West.
Had I made one more correction, I would have gotten the 900, we were that close! LOL!
I just got back from my sojourn to Walmart. GAH!!!! It was “packed” for this time of day, with only one check stand open.
They finally opened a second, but the lines kept growing, so they opened a third, which is the one I got. The checker said it was really bad a couple of hours ago, and that some Walmartians had two and three carts heaped up. *groan*
It must be Christmas. I was surprised to find they will close tonight and not open again until either tomorrow evening or Saturday morning. Not that I care, because I won’t be going again for a few days, if that. Still it was a concession I was glad to see.
When I stopped at Rebel on my way home, I was given a box wrapped in red paper, and told, “Merry Christmas!” How sweet was that? :o]) It looks suspiciously like a box of cherry chocolates. Yum!
Yesterday, my mail was a surprise: voter registration card to be updated. I wish I could change my preference, but there is no space for that on the card. I will have to contact the registrar before the elections.
We have a tendency to move to a new thread when we have thoroughly paved the troll, or trounced the victim (your preference) but if you would like, we can add your name to our ping lists.
We love to have fresh meat ideas infused periodically. ;o]
'Face
No need for us New Yawkahs to head to the Keys this Christmas. The forecast high today is 72.
I humbly thank Globull Warming for this Christmas.
Under Party Affiliation can I put “Anyone serious about governing grownups?”
We have a light dusting of snow this morning. I have to finish moving the last little bits out of the old apartment and into the new, pack my bags and drive 500 miles today, the middle third will likely be in several inches of falling snow.
Don’t think I’ll be on FR much today...
We have to be governed? I thought Bob took care of that with the denizens in the Lower Levels...
Safe driving to you, Nully, and I will pray for your safety and alertness. And watch out for the Other Guy!
<3
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