Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
I’m going to take a shower.
A neighbor gave me a bread machine, and I’ve been trying to figure out whatheheck. One thing is sure: whoever used it last, put it away semi-clean. I will go over it thoroughly with soap and water before I use it.
But the big question is, where will I put it when it isn’t in use?
I went online and downloaded the destructions for it, and in a 60 page “manual,” 55 pages are devoted to recipes I will never use.
You can buy a mix at the store. If you find one you like, then you never have to think about it again.
Can’t stand fermented soy in tiny bits... Small platoon, no waaay.
A platoon is 15-30 individuals, according to Wikipedia, so “small platoon” would be 20 or fewer. Our local Chinese takeout place makes some nice tofu dishes.
So its like that Chinese terra cotta clay army they uncovered but smaller and made from tofu....Forget it Jake, it’s the Undead Thread.
;>)
I will check Wally’s out next time I have loaded pockets, and see what they have for bread mixes. It would be nice to have the bread without kneading it to the point that my arms want to fall off.
Thanks for the tip.
Shower is done, and now I need to take my pills before I forget them until the noon dose...
I need to sort my vitamins, too.
LOL!
...or as you might say some days...
Forget it Chinatown, It’s Jake.
Ps. Jake is a cat, yes?
I can only sort for five days out, as that’s all I have room for. Maybe I should buy another bead case and I would only have to sort them three times a month....
PBS is having a Nature show on at 0900 about the coywolf, and I would like to see it, but I’ll be in church. Maybe they will re-run it.
I want that kitteh.
Yes, Jake is a cat. He is currently behind a half-open drawer of the bin that is supposed to hold Kathleen’s clothes.
Isn’t she ploofed?
But it would get all over the furniture.
You can see it on Youtube, I think.
I will check it out when I get back from church. And off I go!
Thanks!
Later.
So Jake DID understand all that chatter about dubious Chinese food.
;>)
Absolutely.
True enough!
8899
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