Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
Yeah, that's what Shannon said, too.
Welp. The laundry is done and hung up to dry, I’ve been to Walmart, and when I got home Oscar the Grouch was in “my” spot, but I wasn’t about to take Greg’s spot, as sick as he is, so I parked down by the palm tree.
Then I went out and waited for the mail with the peeps, and got a card from my sister that had two little girls in an old galvanized wash tub. There is a B&W pic of the two of us like that, and I’m sure that’s why she got it. The B&W pic has since been made into a painting, in color. Nice card!
And for some reason, my back is killing me, even though I took two morphines before I hung up the clothes. Dang.
I got some coupons the other day from the makers of Oroweat rye bread, one for $5, while two were $1 each. So I used the $5 one this morning, and they just took off the full amount, rather than just for the cost of the loaf ($3.48.) That helped!
We went to the gym. Then I made a few phone calls and found we needed to go to Charlotte for the bathing suits for swim team. So we did. Then I had a nap with Jake. Now I’m going to Walmart.
I’m tired, but I’m going to try and get a letter written to my grandson before the mail pick-up at 1330.
There were a bunch of us at the ramada, and since I knew I couldn’t eat all those muffins (two HUGH) I took them down to share with the peeps. Charlie usually eats anything I bring, but he begged off, this time.
I’ve got some filing to do, but it will have to wait until tomorrow.
I bought some more bell peppers and used most of the stuffing from the other night.
Jake killed a bird and a lizard.
Wow. Jake is a killing machine!
Any lizards around here run the risk of dying by catz or insecticide. But this is scorpion season, and one can’t be too careful.
I would like some bell peppers, but no one else likes them. I would make stuffed peppers but I doubt anyone would eat them but me. And that’s kinda sad, because those sure are good.
Dang. I’m getting really sleepy, and it’s only 1400. And that infection is back with a vengeance.
:o([
Oh dear! Jake killed a mockingbird, but it wasn’t Tom. I saw him later, chasing magpies away from the feeder.
Bluejays, Tom; bluejays.
Do not expect me to expiate your sins. My nature is literary, not liturgical.
That is good example of a literal literary statement apropos of liturgical competence.
I try to make the above statement an alliteration and now my head hurts.
Just translate it into Hawaiian.
Zeet is guod ixemple-a ouff a leeterel leeterery stetement iprupus ouff leetuorgeecel cumpetence-a. Bork Bork Bork!
I went with Swedish chef,
Hmm. A good effort, but it sounds a little Swedish.
I suggested Hawaiian because you said you wanted alliteration. With Hawaiian you’d get a lot more Ls, Ks, and Ms. It’s hard to avoid alliteration when every sixth consonant is itself.
I’m not sure I see the attractiveness of alliteration. It reminds me somewhat of fake “speaking in tongues”, which I find rather repulsive.
As a parlor-trick, and a cocktail-party challenge, alliteration would be difficult but entertaining. It’s not the kind of verbal skill that meshes well with meters and rhymes, which would be more comfortably my forté.
Cinq, cinque, cunque...
Oooh, French punditry!
I’m SO out of my league this morning. I shoulda stood in bed.
71 degrees, W @ 2, 32%, partly cloudy.
I’m up and dressed, but I still need to find my shoes and put them on. :o|
Good morning! If you stood in bed, wouldn’t you hit your head on the ceiling? I do, and I’m shorter!
60s and threatening to rain here. Jake and Shannon have given up on the morning’s bird-hunting and gone back to bed, along with a variety of extremely useless teenagers (and Bill).
In about an hour, I’ll load up a few people and go to Weight Watchers, and then to the used-bread store, because Pat is nagging for white bread. Those who don’t go on the excursion will be given Household Tasks!
“Cinque”
And for 50 points : What is the connection with the Duke of Wellington?
:)
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