Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
And in still other news, I just learned that the five year old great-great niece has had a relapse of leukemia, and that she has to have blood transfusions once a week now. They are supposed to be going to Disney World on Thursday, thanks to Make-A-Wish, but I am so sad. I can only imagine how her parents must feel.
Oh, that’s where the fish went.
Lucky you! You just happened upon the most recent edition of the Undead Thread! Come on in, make yourself comfy and check out the digs!
We’ve been stuck here about 4,000 posts longer than usual, which is probably why you found us still breathing.
‘Face
That’s funny I actually clicked on the wrong thread and posted without realizing I was on this one.
That’s how a lot of us got sucked in.
You’re welcome to join us, if you’d like!
We try to stay away from religion and politics because there are other threads dedicated to those subjects. Not to say we don’t voice an opinion, but that’s usually where we leave it.
A lot of FReepers come here to get away from the craziness and chaos that the other threads can lead to.
You’re always welcome to join us!
LOL
The times that I've peaked into the conversation here, it seemed to be rather.....rambling, shall we say.
We try to stay away from religion and politics because there are other threads dedicated to those subjects. Not to say we don’t voice an opinion, but that’s usually where we leave it.
A lot of FReepers come here to get away from the craziness and chaos that the other threads can lead to.
You’re always welcome to join us!
That is actually very tempting. I'm so jaded on politics I'll probably stay home.
Well, we've got the whole of the inner solar system at our feet, so we do spread the subject matter around.
There are no “topics” except what we choose to discuss at the time, so you can always add your .02 cents worth.
And the folks here are pretty good at solving problems concerning computers, cars, kids and chocolate. Oh. Wait. The only problem with chocolate is that there isn’t enough. :o])
I called this the Undead Thread, but it’s also the Flying Castle. Bob knows more about that than I do...I mean, he designed the Castle...at least the inner workings and outer shell. The rest of us contributed — something. I think.
Congratulations on the draft pick.
I may not like pro football very much, but I still recognize being selected for the NFL is a sign of excellence.
As a kid who grew up in Orlando it was a pretty greay place until the mouse moved in.
I didn’t take my kids there except when I had to for family events. We never visited the mouse.
OK here is a subject. I just finished binge watching “Breaking Bad”. At first I hated it but when I heard my 75ish year old parents got hooked on the series I gave it a second chance. The last two seasons were real page turners.
That’s what Sarah Connor said.
I love it when someone drops in who has apparently read the original satire for the first time.
I think of this as the cracker barrel at the general store. Someone’s almost always here and they’re talking about what they talk about.
Join in or not. Start a conversation yourself or don’t. Just listen and know that whatever happens “out there” we’re all friends in here.
Maybe a little crazy (at least speaking for myself) but friends.
Every thing I’ve contributed to the flying castle winds up down in one of the lower sub-basements.
Which is right.
Thanks! I’ll convey the wishes to his mother! She is about to burst! And my brother, the grandpa, acts like he did it!
It’s amazing to think we have someone in our family who is that good. :o]
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