Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
Wow. Pat is 14? Is he any taller? Can you look him in the eye, yet, or do you have to look up to him?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PAT!!!
He is not yet as tall as I am, but his feet have grown a lot, so he’ll put on some height soon. I’m sure he’ll be over 5’3”!
For three years, my son grew out of his shoes every six months, and he didn’t get any taller. And then, suddenly, he was looking me in the eye, and a week later, I was looking up at him! He’s 6’4”. :o])
I just got the dishes done and my back beat me up while I was standing there. It’s why I hate the job. If I could sit it would be much better!
We seem to be having Parking Wars again. Newcomers are so rude.
Sigh.
I got into an altercation with Jake over making the bed. He really needs his claws trimmed!
I hate when that happens. He just seems to have no shame!
Maybe you should invest in one of those battery operated nail files for pets.
That would frighten Jake into a frenzy. It took me a couple of tries, but I outflanked the evil kitteh and clipped him with the regular hooman nail clippers. Shannon, too ... she was in her bed in Bill and Tom’s room and just rolled her eyes in a disgusted way.
For being a really studly kitteh, Jake seems to be a real whiner.
I thought I’d feel better if I went outside to sit for a while, hoping the Ol’ Fogeys would help change my mood. They did. It’s worse; I sat out in the cold wind and began to cry.
Dang, I hate when I get like this.
No funeral or cremation ads today — just bills for the latest tests that I’ve had. I don’t even know what they are going to charge me for the MRI and the bone density tests.
More reasons to cry.
Dang I hate mood swings!
Oh, YES!!! Nailed it! Thanks!
Nothing like a little visit to images.google.com to help lighten a mood.
That and an interesting idea of what to search for.
Yes, the vodka sounds good...Or maybe a dollop or two of rum in some hot cocoa...
The mood theme parks have my attention. I wonder which mood would be the most interesting?
I’m partial to the old-fashioned wooden emotional roller-coaster.
If it were summer I’d suggest the water-works park.
Any resemblance to any real person living or undead is purely conicidental.
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