Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
I have to go to Walmart again. We’re out of bananas.
If I trusted myself, I would do the cutting of my hair, here, but my shoulders and elbows get too tired for me to do a good job all the way around.
I may need to go to Walmart, but it will have to be tomorrow. When I get back from Vegas, I’ll drop off the prescription and come home. I don’t want to be out in this stuff any longer than I have to. We’ve already gotten almost half an inch since it started to rain a couple of hours ago.
I have to put gas in the truck, but I think I have enough to go and get back. I’m just not a happy camper today.
(I saw what you did there...)
I’m a little grumpy today, myself. I’m waiting for the trash company to call me back to explain when they’re going to pick up the trash that was supposed to be picked up Tuesday. Turkeys.
You seem to have a lot of trouble with trash pickup. That’s too bad. Here, we have Dumpsters, so that’s a good thing. The only thing we have to watch is that the garbage trucks don’t put the bins so far into the enclosures that they break the cinder brick wall. Which happens sometimes.
Still, I would be rather irritable if I couldn’t rely on regular trash pick-up, too. The doo-doo heads.
We have two trash bins, because of the large number of trash-producing persons in our household. For this, I pay double the usual trash-collection fee. Fair enough.
However, on Tuesday morning, only one of the bins was emptied. I had Tom the Son call the trash company (a little Adult Man practice), and they told him that the second bin was on a different route from the first one, and would be emptied either Tuesday afternoon or Wednesday morning. Now here it is Thursday morning, and it’s still sitting on the curb, full.
I wish we had dumpsters!
In other news, Pat just wandered by and said, “I’m going to take a shower. That hasn’t been done recently.”
*shudder*
Eh??? (Said in a Tim Taylor voice)
What in the world kind of trash pick-up is that, that empties bins at the same curb, from the same house, in the same space, on two different routes? What? It’s against union rules to pick up more than one bin at a residence?
*sheesh*
LOL! Pat is funny! Did he say that with a straight face?
That's what I'm speculating.
Pat says everything with a straight face.
*face palm*
*groan*
Ohno. Stupidity goes to the bone.
Yes, now that I reflect, I think only once when I was there did I hear him laugh, and it was more of a giggle, but I LIKED it! ;o]
Sometimes he produce a deranged titter that is a little unnerving. (So does Bill.)
Deranged titter? I’ve heard my son do that in recent history, but he’s 6’4” and I had no clue his voice could go to such a high octave!
Scary stuff, these menfolk and their laughter.
See how that works?
Are you feeling any better today?
Somewhat. Temperature is below 100°, chest crud is breaking up.
That’s good. :o])
*hug*
I don’t know where I would be without a daily kitteh.
the world is going to heck in a hand basket and at least I have kitties.
Bless you ladies.
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