Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
Have you ever tried “Dri-El” for your unwashables? (I think that’s the name of it.) It’s a home dry cleaning kit that you use in your dryer. The heat activates the chemicals and your clothes are clean without having to take them to the cleaners.
My SiL in AZ introduced me to it, and I was impressed. I must have given mine away because I can’t find it. I wasn’t wearing much in the way of non-washable clothes for quite a while.
Anyway, it has enough chemical packets for about six loads. Refills available. Just sayin’.
Cute kittens grow up to lie on your pillow and call you rude names.
I haven’t, but I think Bill has. When I pay $3 for something, I figure I’ve got my money’s worth even if I redonate it when I think it needs washing ;-).
Yes, and that one looks like he would grow into the rude-name-calling with a bit of flair.
:o]
It’s some pretty good stuff to have around, when I think about it...now that I’m feeling better overall. Some days, I feel better than others.
Today is rather iffy. We shall see how I feel when I get out of the shower. Sometimes, it wears me out, and sometimes, it makes me feel better.
Someone is in the shower here. I suppose I should find out who it is ... might be a shower-freeloader. OR it might be Pat, who is not presently in sight.
...does sound. a bit like, “La noche oscura del alma”, but unintentional.
Nonetheless, it appears that a bright day is on the menu.
And someone is headed for the shower, here. And after that, someone may have some coffee. Maybe. The day will be full of surprises for me, I can tell!
Jake is looking forward to several hours of happy sunbeam.
Shower done. Coffee ready. Pills taken. Still undecided about church, but it seems a go, for now. I will wait another hour or so and if I still feel OK, I will go to church. I will have a breathing treatment before I go.
I realized last night that I’m nearly out of my steroid and right now, I don’t have enough to get a refill. (It’s from all the wind we’ve had, lately.)
Oh I need a baby today. My sister is visiting.
Keep thinking of tranquil blue ocean. Cute cabana boy bringing me a peach Snapple . Think of kittens and puppies.
Sounds like a plan!
One kitten?
Sunbeam would be a very good name for a kitteh. Nickname would be sunny,
Oh dear TC. Look at those eyes! That pink nose!
I bet it has pink jelly bean toes too.
Ah, she looks like my beloved tan tabby Holly, now at the Rainbow Bridge.
Puppies and kittens for all your needs: a free service of the Undead Thread!
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