ISIS Surrenders in face of Climate Change Conference

Vanity | 12/10/2015 | ArGee

[ArGee]

Raqqa, Syria

Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.

"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."

An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.

Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."

According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.

"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."

So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."

[Covenantor]

moose, never fear, whatever the weather, I've learned that Wessex Water makes sure that Sludge Truckers get through.

Rain or shine,

ice or snow,

to the plant

the sludge must go!

[GeronL]

Memories of Christmas

http://flscifi.blogspot.com/2015/12/short-story-memories-of-christmas.html

[null and void]

I'm glad you have some place to sleep. Have you been living out of your car?

No, just switched apartments.

[Covenantor]

Real relic, circa fifth or sixth century, basalt relief. May or may not be St Symeon the Elder or St Symeon the Younger.

Basalt Relic

[ArGee]

That’s not Dell or Asus - that’s Windoze. You have to give it a nap every so often or it will crash on you.

[moose07]

There are a number of questions come to mind....
“Whatever the weather, the sh@t must get through! LoL.

[moose07]

Firing salt mortars!

[Covenantor]

dude...you caught the 666 post.

Duck and cover! Beware, beware.

[Monkey Face]

Then I need to install something less lethal. ANy suggestions?

[Monkey Face]

You missed it, DC!

[ArGee]

Not inexpensive ones. I understand Google is going to give up the Chrome OS in favor of Android so I wouldn’t buy a Chromebook - and you probably wouldn’t be able to use Dragon on that.

How long can the Dell operate in the “on” situation without going wonky on you?

[moose07]

Nothing more than superstition.....
Firing decoy flares !

[ArGee]

How is superstition better than ordinary stition?

[moose07]

Does Argee recommend C-cleaner?
It keeps my Old Dell alive.
As for Boot to Wonk-out time....48hrs or 2 hibernates.

[moose07]

It stands above it, in every respect.

[Covenantor]

cuz Stevie Wonder wrote “Superstition”, not “Substition” which never made the charts anywhere.

Very superstitious, nothin’ more to say

Very superstitious, the devil’s on his way
Thir
teen month old baby, broke the lookin’ glass

Seven years of bad luck, good things in your past

When you believe in things that you don’t understand

Then you suffer, superstition ain’t the way, no, no, no

[Monkey Face]

Two to four hours, and sometimes, it happens within an hour of booting up.

[Monkey Face]

Two to four hours, and sometimes, it happens within an hour of booting up.

[Monkey Face]

I don’t recognize “C-cleaner.” Is it a program?

[Monkey Face]

What? I can’t seem to recall song lyrics, even when I hear the music. *sigh*

Must be old age. ;o]