ISIS Surrenders in face of Climate Change Conference

Vanity | 12/10/2015 | ArGee

[ArGee]

Raqqa, Syria

Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.

"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."

An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.

Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."

According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.

"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."

So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."

[Monkey Face]

After that particular uncle passed away, the next Spanish I learned was street Spanish, and then I had a class is Spanish at the Parochial School I attended for a year. I managed to get a B+ but I have no idea how! LOL!

And to this day, I understand more than I can speak.

[Monkey Face]

Coriander, isn’t that a berry/nut? I could go to Wiki for it, but I like your answers better! ;o]

[moose07]

Found a new variant of one of my favourite food stuffs today.
Small pieces of Herring pickled in Vinegar and Onion juice.
It is sublime.

[Monkey Face]

How much pain can a person endure, eh?

[Monkey Face]

Wow. Cool, Bob!

I still feel like a cucumber with anxiety...

[Monkey Face]

Moosie, I’ll make a deal with you: You give me your chocolate, and I’ll give you all my seafood. How’s that? :o])

[moose07]

Both Leaf and Seed
Found this little tidbit: "Cilantro is the Spanish word for coriander."
That explains the confusion. :)

[moose07]

Hmmm....
These could be tough negotiations.
:)

[moose07]

[Tax-chick]

That sounds awful, but I’m glad you love it.

[moose07]

Lip smackingly good.

[Monkey Face]

I’ve always wanted to try one of those...maybe I will like them as well as I like tomato sandwiches... ;o]

[Monkey Face]

Well. Thanks, Moosie. That is really interesting! You are a veritable font of information!!!

[moose07]

All complex trade negotiations are accompanied by Tea and Cucumber sandwiches...LoL. :)

[Monkey Face]

Yes. My share automatically goes to you. Thanks for sharing the pic...!!!

[Monkey Face]

I have the tea, now all I need is the cucumber sammiges...

[Covenantor]

Rollmops...pickled herring with onion and half sour dill pickle center...an old favorite.

Suitable for hangover breakfasts or you can snack on those while drinking icy cold vodka and avoid the hangover altogether.

Add some good smoked eel with a bit of lemon as well. mmmmmmm....

[moose07]

Rollmops and Porky Scratching with a Pint of the “Flat stuff”.
Oh ,yeah.

[Monkey Face]

You gennimens has left me WAY far behint!

And I’m off to bed, now. It just seems like the right thing to do!

Ta, y’all!

[Not A Snowbird]

She has been checked for everything. She’s gotten a clean bill of health; she’s now on antidepressants and has her own area upstairs with her own food, water and litter box away from her sister.

The only thing we haven’t done is call the cat psychologist. I think diapers might be cheaper.