Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
The banana Mohawk is awesome though....
It looks like the set from Trailer Park Boys!
I even see Bubbles’ Shed and Breakfast from his Kittyland Hotel.
Yes, we need. TPB ping.
Stupid to get rid of the classic hotels. Not many left if they destroy the Riviera.
I have a picture of my folks at the Sands before they were parents. My mom was wearing a long dress and dad in a suit and tie. They looked so happy! Maybe because they were both under 27 and no kiddies?
And Elvis was still alive and they liked Ike?
Almost all the old landmarks have been imploded. When I first came here, they were all functioning, and then someone got the idea of razing one and putting a themed hotel/casino in its place and the idea snowballed.
So now The Strip is themes with name-brand shops along the boulevard, like M&M’s, Coca-Cola, etc. It’s taken all the fun out of seeing The Strip up close. I like looking at Vegas from where I live.
It just covers the Valley with twinkling lights. And that’s as close as I want to get.
Vegas is on my bucket list and I want to see it.
My sister was there in 14 she was the maid of honor at a wedding there. She stayed at Luxor because the whole wedding party booked there.
I know most of the chefs on Food Network have restraints there.
Whoops that was supposed to be RESTAURANTS.
Dang spell check.
“I know most of the chefs on Food Network have restraints there.”
Don’t correct it, Gefn. There is something ‘interesting’ about that sentence.
In a Mental image kind of way...
Celebrity Chefs carrying restraints...yes, it works. :)
I kinda liked “restraints,” myself!
Somehow, it’s fitting for Vegas...
The only famous chef’s restaurant I want to go to is Hubert Keller’s le Fluer. I don’t care about Spago or Gordon Ramsay’s, though his I might just step inside to sniff... ;o]
Lacock village.
That is just to close to be an accident.
Democrat controlled area, by any chance?
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