ISIS Surrenders in face of Climate Change Conference

Vanity | 12/10/2015 | ArGee

[ArGee]

Raqqa, Syria

Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.

"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."

An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.

Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."

According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.

"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."

So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."

[Monkey Face]

Awww.... You deserve it! *hug*

[Monkey Face]

Stop the presses! — I slept until 0530!

Good morning, all.
48 degrees, SW@15, 30%, wind chill 42.

Now all I have to do is get started on my day. That’s pretty hard to do when I sleep in. I’ve lost an entire hour!! :o0

[Monkey Face]

And how are you feeling this morning? I thought of you a lot yesterday, because you so seldom get ill, so I’m hoping you are better this morning.

[moose07]

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[moose07]

[Monkey Face]

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[moose07]

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[Monkey Face]

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[moose07]

posting live.......

[moose07]

Time to go...
Syl

[Monkey Face]

So beautiful!

Thanks, Moosie!

[Tax-chick]

Better than yesterday, thanks. I just picked Tom up from school, and next I’ll go to Walmart.

[Monkey Face]

I’m glad you’re feeling better! *hug*

Yay, Walmart! I won’t go until Friday, I guess. But that’s OK. I still have to get my budget printed out and my grocery list made.

It’s still cold and not quite as windy as it was earlier, but still, enough to make me want to stay in.

I just vacuumed the rug and dusted, and tried once again to glue the Swarovsky crystal crown back on the frog. Lablady brought it back from Italy when she was in the navy, and I really cherish it! It is absolutely gorgeous!

We had a gust yesterday of 78 mph! Did I tell you I hate the wind?

[stephenjohnbanker]

” self-imposed quietude “

I like this one : )

[Tax-chick]

I’ve pulled muscle in my left thigh, I believe, but I’ll get over it. We have 59 degrees and breezy, with plenty of Sunbeam. Shannon was out all night, so she’s spending the day in bed.

[Tax-chick]

Morning. Now that Tom is home, chaos is ensuing at an ever-increasing volume.

[stephenjohnbanker]

“I have a 1983 Mazda RX-7 collecting dust in the garage.”

The best thing about this Tc, is it won’t cost you any repair bills, if you don’t attempt to drive it : )