Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
You put soap in it and push some buttons.
Morning, Nully. Happy Easter!
I need some really good coffee.... ;o]
Happy Easter, Moosie! Good to see you this morning. And it’s good to have a punny from you to start my day! :o])
That’s funny: my dishwasher doesn’t do that...But it does wear rubber gloves so the hands can grip the soapy wet dishes.
Come on over.
Careful with that. I had an Ethiopian roommate who tried that with regular dishwashing detergent.
The wall of foam skert the cat...
Easy for YOU to say! LOL!
Well, yes. Also don’t try that in the clothes washer.
And a Very Happy Easter to you Face.
(((Hugs)))
Have just come back in after a walk in the rain. The Sun emerged towards the end. (Turned out nice again)
Oh, ick.
I was hungry, so I fried an egg with some cheese, and a small slice of ham in butter, fixed a piece of rye toast and grabbed a half a cup of coffee from yesterday, that I stuck in the fridge.
Now I wish I hadn’t. I need more tea, I think...
Ohmy. This is NOT good.
Cold Coffee doesn’t sound good.
Hmmm....
Freeze a cup of Dark’s brew and make a powerful ice lolly. :)
Oh, dear. I hope it wasn’t the birthday cake!
Epic Fail and the Student Prince are home from church.
It finally went away, apparently with no help from me, and I still have my tea to get out of the microwave. It’s good that I can drink that stuff at any temperature.
Glad to hear about Epic Fail and the Student Prince. I’m sorry I missed church this morning. :o[ Yesterday, I was really looking forward to going.
And it appears I will need at least one more breathing treatment, and soon, if I am to be comfortable the rest of the day.
I’m glad you’re better, and good luck with the rest of the day. It’s about to be naptime here already.
I was thinking “nap” when I was in just now, having a breathing treatment. My eyes are all itchy, so I know the allergies are partially responsible for how I’m feeling, but I don’t know how much it had to do with last night.
I didn’t sit out yesterday because of the cold wind, but I’m thinking about going out, now. At the least, I need to check and see if I have any mail. Or should I say, “bills.”
And the dishes are calling me. And I need to sort the laundry, and take the trash out, and it never ends. *sigh* The worst of it is I can’t even delegate the jobs! LOL!
It’s Sunday. USMail doesn’t deliver on Sunday. I had an okay nap. It rained a bit, and Tom the Mocker told the world about his fine nest in the jasmine.
While Tom the Son is playing a computer game. His college efforts this year are not taxing his ability. The Student Prince went to work at the grocery store.
I’m getting sicker by the minute, but tried to eat something, anyway. I think that was a mistake.
My computer stopped in the middle of everything and went black again, so I’m not a happy camper.
What I’m going to do now is go have another breathing treatment and call it a day. I have to do laundry in the morning, regardless, so whatever I have, I need to get over it by the time I get up.
I hope all y’all had a good Easter Sunday, and that your Easter feasts were festive!
:o])
G’night all!
I’m sorry you’re poorly. Hopefully you’ll be better tomorrow for laundry. Speaking of which, I should go see what happened to my last load.
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