Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
Yeah, none of the do.
Got Frank’s pinkeye diagnosed this morning and a prescription sent in, but I won’t be able to pick it up until after several other things.
I wonder if Colloidal Silver works against Pinkeye?
Dunno. Antibiotics work, though. It’s just a matter of getting to the pharmacy to pick them up.
Colloidial silver is an antibiotic. Probably one of the best in the world. Remember silver nitrate used to be put in the eyes of newborns, though I don’t know if that is still in practice.
Winds of 17mph, 60 degrees and mostly clear.
Ungh....
The leaves on the violet-looking things look like the violet-looking things we have here, in several places on the pseudo-lawn.
LOTS of patches of them, large and small. With copious quantities of blossoms.
Why does that kitteh look like he’s saying, “Outta my way to the coffee pot!”
Ask a silly question, get a sillyy answer.
For example, here in America we ask people who can’t figure out how to get an ID to pick a name for our next President.
They appear to be choosing Donald Trump.
Could be worse. Look at his opponents!
Good morning kitty.
What a smile!
Oh that tears it.
I’m schlepping to Newark to buy one of those things from Ikea.
And some meatballs.
Today’s kitteh looks very caffeinated.
Naming a ship after Edmund Blackadder is cool.
But naming it after Baldrick would be better, don’t you think?
Speaking of old Britcoms - I hear they are re-doing “Are you being served” for the fall.
I wish I had the money to go to Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf for a cuppa, even though we have terrible winds. Somehow, I think that little sheltered spot doesn’t have to bring in the umbrellas!
No matter what coffee I buy, I’m not satisfied with it, for some reason. So yah, I feel like that kitteh!!
Oh, don’t tell me that, Gefn! How could they improve on the cast in that sitcom? I usually had a solid hour of laughing what with “Keeping Up Appearances” and “Are You Being Served?” The only thing that was missing was Benny Hill.
RSS Sir Edmund Blackadder .....
Yes, that does have a certain ring to it. :)
“Baldrick” can be the Tugboat at the docks.
” Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf “
My choice for around a dozen years.
My closest is hundreds of miles away. *sigh*
Careful, there, young lady.
The last time I accidentally went into Newark it took over a week to wash it off.
Oh, it could be much worse.
One year they picked Barack Obama.
Can you imagine a sillier name for POTUS?
That ain’t right!
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