Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
Looks like you pretty much have the finer points taped,there. :)
That would make it the only enterprise a government has ever run better than a private for profit company would.
Well, he wouldn't make eye contact, but he'd probably just say "Good morning, Hillary"...
I see what you did there...
0_o
Hamish MacBeth has page for page a surprising number of murders for such slim novels.
Alas, the video series Hamish is a pencil necked parody of the strapping flame haired Highlander capable of lopping up and down the hills all day. The pet bob cat seems to have been cut.
Fools...
In a sane part of the world that would be the case.
However here the original owners of the mines where so appalling that the government had to take over the running of the mines during the war inorder to maintain the supply necessary for the war effort.
Amazingly it worked, but 40 years of use took their inevitable toll on the equipment and it needed replacement.
The prime minister at the time had a personal beef with the coal industry and so destroyed it rather than fix it or sell it.
The few remaining private mines have quietly soldiered on until this week.
I looked up cricket, once, and began to read. I think you almost have to be born into it in order to understand it all. My brain was SO befuddled by it!
So if it’s all the same, I won’t play!
LOL!
Thanks Procon! I needed that laugh!
I don’t know if it’s on Youtube. I started by checking out DVDs from the library, and then it turned up streaming on Netflix.
There was a poster who said his wife wanted to retire to Badger’s Drift. We asked if he a large life insurance policy on her.
How has your Saturday been so far?
I slept seven hours straight last night, and just now took a nap for an hour. Go figger.
Now I’m going to walk down and check the mail. Like I’ll get anything but burial and cremation ads, insurance ads and local business flyers. Haha!
At least somebody got it.
I even explained it to my wife. You know the rule.
Busy! DP and I and the byos and Kathleen went to the gym this morning while Tom and the girls started painting. When we came back, they had the room about half done and had stopped to let it dry before moving the furniture around. Also “We need more paint!” because they spilled some in the garage.
I was going to send Bill to get the paint, but then they said they wouldn’t have time to paint more before having to get ready for an Eagle Court of Honor for a boy in our troop, so I told Bill to grill chicken instead, which he did on the electric grill, because he couldn’t get the gas grill lit. Did I mention he was born blond?
We went shopping, too: got Sally a wood-burning kit for Christmas, and a few pieces of wood to experiment. Also half-price Christmas paper plates, since that was a success at Thanksgiving.
Anyway, the chicken is cooked and the group has departed for the Eagle ceremony. I’ve got Frank and Kathleen. I’ll let them watch tv a little longer, and then try to get them to nap. Maybe I’ll take them to Mass at 5:00, if the others aren’t back.
555, because Timer.
Yes, that does sound busy! At least the painting is progressing!
I went down to get the mail, and found a card from my life-long friend in Texas. Our husbands were stationed on the same ship together and became friends, and the rest is really strange. We each met our husband on a bus, and our names are eerily similar, having the same first name and the same two first letters of the last name: Mc.
She was short, dark and wore glasses, and I was tall, light and wore glasses! Weird! We met when we were both pregnant, and both had boys. :o])
Anyway, my neighbor to my immediate west was out with her little dog, and said she had heard someone “messing around” about 0500, and asked if I were up at that time. No, I didn’t get up for another 30 minutes. Her fear antenna was up, and I told her to go to Walmart and get a couple of those fishing bells (look like a small copper cowbell) and but them on her door handle.
Don’t know if she will or not. She worries me because Alzheimer’s runs in her family.
When she gets excited, she gets very loud and I have a hard time being around her.
I like 333, just because...it was my employee number at Signetics, and my card number for the Ladies Auxiliary of the VFW Club. :o]
I’ve ordered some gifts, and now it’s time to sit with Kathleen so she stays out of trouble. Bill has gone to work, and when he gets off at 9:00, he’s going to the “Star Wars” movie with a coworker.
I’ve decided on my epitaph:
Gravity wins another round.
Did anyone else get it?
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