Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
500 to you! I survived roller skating with the Cub Scouts. There were quite a few black people there, shamelessly appropriating the culture of 1970s white Californians.
Hoping to hear good news about Your Doggie this morning...?
Well,
You do appear to have landed on a ‘ Monkey’. :)
Thank you for the ping to the alone thread Moose.
I’ve been crying more than usual the last two days and dropping to down right despair.
I’ve been alone the last few Christmases but this one I just want to be unconscious for the next month or two and wake up after the New Year. Like in Sprimg.
Have got that being stared at feeling.....
Morning TC.
Afternoon, Moose. It’s freezing here this morning. I hope it won’t be the end of my fresh lettuce and other miscellaneous greens.
Oh, so it is.
Sub-zero again tonight as well.
My Nan would have covered them in straw to keep the frost off at night.
So would mine, but that would only work for so long. If it starts to be real winter weather, it will be below freezing for days at a time.
Was curious as to weather diffeences between here and there. And found this.
Cold Weather Advice from Wessex Water
in the manner of “T’was The Night Before Christmas”
...grim, but well done, little cartoon for the season
Cool! I like the way they culturally appropriated that Indonesian shadow-puppet art.
Creepy little number.
The plumbing is installed for the ‘south of France’, then they wonder why it freezes.
Heavy insulation in the loft makes the problem worse, the pipes are insulated from the heat of the house.
We just haven’t got to grips with the concept of winter any more.
Well, now that we have Global Warming, it will never be cold in England again. Pipes burst? It must be because rats chewed them!
Yeah, Globull warming....forgot about that. :)
Rats stealing the copper pipes and cashing them in.
Glad lead pipes where banned.....the mice would have had those away.
Rodents can chew through PVC, too.
Retrogade thinking that sir in the face of the new enemy, General Eternal Summer.
No sir, it will be nothing like Majorca. Think pig roast.
Throw some insulation here and there, some solar shingles, that sort of thing.
May I suggest you apply for the Green Brain Cooler? Wind powered and very progressive.
Very chic you know, "Wear the green on your your bean!"
I had heard rumour that the some places use PVC for pressure pipes, but it isn’t used here as far as I know.
I’m back on track.
You mention sub-zero weather? Is that good old English F-zero or that froo-froo French C-zero?
You know, for the past seven years, we’ve been uttering aloud, “F-Zero!” year round now.
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