Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
I dunno if anyone else here uses LinkedIn. It’s a business networking / job hunting site. Recently someone sent me a connection request that said she was looking for a “friend.” I reported that one. Today I got a request from someone whose photo was a young girl (like 7 or 8). She wasn’t particularly provocative in the photo but I noticed everyone else from that company had a young girl (5-10) for their photo.
I decided to ignore the connection request.
W00t!
I’m glad to hear the kids are improving, at least by not throwing up!
DP uses it when he’s looking for word. I get requests sometimes from people I know from church or Scouts. I guess it sends to your whole address book, or they imagine I have a life.
Check your email. I’m happy nobody is throwing up! My prayer group will all pray for your successful move, whether or not your building is closing.
Why would a snack of fruit and cheese make you whine?
I’m sure someone has thrown up today.
I’m glad it wasn’t near you, though.
I have LinkedIn, but I seldom ever use it. I ignore the friend requests unless I know the person. No one is interested in an old retired broad who can’t even navigate Win 10, anyway!! LOL!
Well, that’s a point. I really wish we had that unwind!
Haha. I’ll whine if I don’t get it! LOL!
Add skills like swearing, computer throwing, and sl** shaming and see if the requests peak.
It’s always cracked me up that wind and wind are spelled the same so unwind is un-wind.
It’s almost as funny as the fact that there’s laughter in manslaughter.
Tom likes to point out the latter fact.
If the global economic collapse hits, I’ll be glad he’s on our side.
LOL!
Yes, we have a few words that cause a few chuckles. Like diagonally, and Diagon Alley. In fact the Harry Potter series are stuffed with words that mean one thing when used one way and something else when the spelling is changed by one letter, or two unrelated words are combined.
I need to read the books again, and I need to get the third Hobbit movie.
Unwind...that’s the wind that sucks, right? ;o]
No, that’s antiwind.
IMHO: You don’t need toget the third Hobbit moivie. The first two are quite long enough. The third is one long slog through a battle of five armies.
OTOH: Were-worms were actually mentioned in the book. I was surprised to learn that when I re-read it.
Auntie-who?
When I was reading the Hobbit (over and over) it didn’t seem to dwell too much on the Battle of Five Armies. I always felt like there was a lot the author didn’t say, just leading up to it, not to mention the battle itself. So I could slog though it. I don’t think it would be a waste of money, either, because I buy most of that stuff on Amazon, at a lot less than I could get it for elsewhere.
Ah. And now, I’m taking my cute little self to bed. My back and right leg are bothering me, so the best remedy is to alter the center of gravity!
And I’m off for now!
Ta!
Have a good night! We’re going to the gym for yoga.
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