Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
Sorry things didn’t work out for Lablady. My mother doesn’t have a middle name, either.
I like it!
Hi, I’m back. Nothing worse has befallen me, yet. I’ve had more toast and some tea.
A little late in the day but, Good Afternoon. :)
Hey, Moosie!! How are you today? It’s sunny and 62, here. The wind is just a breeze, so it doesn’t feel too ugly right now.
Wish you were here. I have plenty of tea but I’m out of crumpets, dangit. Whoever knew they could be so addictive? BUT! I still have half a jar of lemon curd. If you were here, Moosie, I would share with you!
Crumpets are addictive, aren’t they.
The Sun was out today so an easy slow day ensued.
Lemon Curd works well as the filling in a Victoria Sponge.....
good evening... semi-thawed mud has been mucking with water mains...our feed broke earlier in the day... just restored and running to clear lines,
Pays to have prepper mindset.
Did you ready six on the deer/Buggs thread?
“Pays to have prepper mindset.”
No kidding there.
Amazing how often you are the one everyone else goes to in an emergency.
Glad the water is behaving again.
The Bunny was definitely on a mission. But Darks denied all knowledge.
So who else could it have been working for?
More to the point ,where did the Deer obtain the industrial strength Deflector shields?
Hmmm....
“That rabbit was our only hope.”
“No, there is another.”
This is a turf war between the Bunnies and the Deer for grazing rights.
LoL,
Oh Gawd. The countryside has never looked so dangerous.
Rabbits used to snigger as you walked past, now they “Lock and Load”.
“Strike the Rabbit down and it shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.” “BwHaaHaa”
No, there is another.
He is named Harvey.
LOL!
Where did you find that, Darks? That’s funny!
Those are the SF spearhead.
Next come the Hordes of StormBunnies, to clear the woods of Deer for ever.
But remember,We are NEXT !
NewZealand had to use dirty tricks to stop the assault.
The Great Bunny General has learned from this mistake.
...Had forgotten Harvey....
Now we have a Name.
I found that awhile ago.
It was pretty hysterical considering that at the same time we had Killer Bunny at my job doing his nefarious deeds.
Milestone warning.
I have to head out.
Tally-Ho, Darks. :)
Boom
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