Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
Awdang. The batteries in my mouse just died. That’s the end of the AA’s; the AAA’s died last week, and I can’t recall when I had C’s. I borrowed a couple of AA’s for the TV remote, but I don’t know how long they will last.
Dang. I thought I had enough to last until the first of the year.
Batteries or yogurt? Hmmmm...
I can’t remember when I last saw snow-capped mountains in real life.
We saw the Kirov around 1990-92. I can’t remember if it was just before or just after Anoreth was born.
I may live in Vegas Valley for the weather, but I’m always homesick for the mountains. I really miss them. We had a mountain “in our front yard” when I was growing up. In the summer, it was light for a long time before the sun came up over the top of Sugar Loaf.
My kidneys are not behaving today. I had some coffee earlier, but the kidneys don’t seem to have liked it. I’m drinking lots of water, but it doesn’t seem to be enough.
Maybe I need a beer to get things started. I will have to check the funds, first.
Doesn't sound like it ...
I saw a bumper sticker at the gym today that said, “I love my rotten, ungrateful children.” I looked twice to see if it had “~God” at the end, but it didn’t.
Yes I did, and thanks again.
This is winter...no snow here...cold, yes; wind, yes; snow, no. It’s the summers I live here for...eight months of the year, I’m warm. And it’s easier to breathe here than in more humid climates. I need a travel trailer so I can spend the winter months in Tucson... *hahaha*
How do you like it so far? I love mine! I turn it on about 30 minutes before I go to bed so I can slip between warm, flannel sheets!
Yep. Like that.
That would be great. Some of my relatives from Missouri used to trailer down the Rio Grande Valley in the winter.
It rocks! And we have a week of below freezing temps here in AZ. Great timing.
<3 XO
I’m so glad you are pleased with it! Of course, I can’t see how anyone my age, or used to warm climates, wouldn’t want a heated mattress pad!
My blood is so thin these days, that it doesn’t take much to give me a chill. The mattress pad and flannel sheets are just what the doctor ordered!!
Yep...that sounds like a bumper sticker I would like, but I don’t do bumper stickers.
I’m sure God loves ALL His children, no matter what!
” I can’t see how anyone my age, or used to warm climates, wouldn’t want a heated mattress pad!”
Right now, I have freezing rain, and a possible low temperature tonight of 28. This is all the encouragement I need : )
Some of His children are rotten and ungrateful less often than others ;-).
I liked being campground hosts for the National Forest Service because we went south in the winter and north in the summer and the campground fees were non-existent. Plus, if the campground was large enough to where to had to drive to monitor it, we were given gas for the truck, and also the generator.
I miss those days.
Sounds like something Tom would like.
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