Don't let the bananas go to your head.
Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
Oh, Nully...that was...erm...weird.
This may be hard to believe, but that thing was halfway over before I realized what it was about... *sigh*
That was me when I woke up at 0420. I just didn’t want to get up, night sweats and all. Of course, getting up ends them, so there is that.
I’m going to wait until the sun comes up before I go to Wally World.
33, SSW @ 4, 83%, 29 wind chill.
That means frost on the windshield for sure. *shiver*
Nothing in my email from New Dellhi this morning, so either they have given up on trying to get me to be a tech-in-training, or they are discussing the eventual outcome of the disposition of the laptop.
Don't let the bananas go to your head.
Fruit flies like a banana...
Alan Rickman died. Dang. He was so good in everything he did!!
“Who woke da fluffy?”
I got an email from National Review. Then Tom told me when he got out of history class. Then Elen and Sally told us when we got home.
I heard it on the news, and it’s all over Facebook, now. About every third post is something to do with Alan Rickman. He was a Shakespearean Actor, and every role I’ve ever seen him in, he convinced me he was that person!
It was 29 on my patio when I headed for Walmart, and I had to get a spatula and scrape the frost off the windshield. DANG!!! I hate the cold!
Walmart sells a scraper for $.89. It’s near the de-icer in the auto section.
We have frost so seldom, that even being in Walmart this morning, it never crossed my mind to get one. Silly me!
I’ve scraped with a spatula plenty of times.
So have I, and that’s the TROOF! LOL!
Also with a credit card, and even my hands.
Off to change so I can take the boys to the gym before they hurt one another.
I have used a driver’s license but never a credit card. And my hands only if there was snow on there as well.
Awdang. I just counted my laundry quarters and I’m a dollar short for the dryer. Dangdangdang.
Belay that last.
I found some quarters...yay me!
Let’s see...almost 1500 on the East Coast, and I’m wondering if I’m the only FReeper left here on the UT...?
I know what it is, really! Other people have REAL lives, and I just pretend to have one. Ha. Ha. She. Said.
The sun is out but there is a haze, so the shadows are thin and watery.
We lost another resident yesterday morning. I couldn’t stand the man because he was a pompous, arrogant, snarky little individual who always reeked of cigarette smoke and drank whiskey almost constantly, making him testy on good days and downright nasty on others. He also had the Napoleonic Complex I spades.
Still, I don’t ever wish anyone anything bad, no matter how I feel about them personally.
Deed dey do.
I don’t think I even know who Alan Rickman is. But I’m glad he knocked David Bowie off the top of the news.
I never really liked David Bowie.
Credit cards make good scrapers, too. Especially ones you’re tempted to over-use.
Ah, yes. He was hysterical in Galaxy Quest.
He was also the Sherriff of Nottingham, in Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves, in 1991. “And...And...and cancel Christmas!”
And the Bad Guy in Die Hard.
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