Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
So I’m guessing the one on the right is male.
....naked micro-aggression on display!
Monday. I was afraid of that.
I woke up depressed this morning, and I hate when I do that. The day is always downhill from there.
I kept dreaming of dead people. Strangers. Foreigners. Waking up didn’t dispel them. I still see dead people.
I need to sort my laundry.
Obviously the software to put Monday on pause is on the Dell.
Yes. Yes indeed. The Dell is due tomorrow.
And now, I must go do laundry. Be back in about an hour...
Yes. I see it all, now. It’s a conspiracy. All the zombies are ganging up on me.
Now I need some coffee and a mini-English muffin of the sourdough type.
Yes indeedy it is Monday. No doubt in my military dependent’s mind about THAT!
I went to take the clothes out of the washer and put them in the hamper to bring home and hang up, and when I looked, there were two pairs of black pants still in the hamper. WHY, you ask? The liner in the laundry basket is black and so are the pants.
If it weren’t so stupid, it would be funny. Wait. It’s too funny to not be stupid, or vice-versa.
Just slap a few of these kitty stickies in the bottom of the basket to brighten your chore time!
Been to the gym, the shower, the Walmart. I’m exhausted and there’s still a full day ahead.
Various other people and animals are dozing in sunbeams, because they can.
What a cool idea! I’ll find some stickers and do that! Thanks!
I need to go to Walmart too, as I’m out of bananas, ginger, eggs and salad, and I need to get to Walgreen’s and get the prescriptions I couldn’t pick up yesterday.
But I will stay home and wait for the mail.
The sun is out, but when I came out of the laundry room, the wind was up and the temp was 35 on my patio. *shudder*
Ohmyiwantsummer.
I don’t know why I’ve been so sleepy in the mornings. It seems all I can do to stay awake. And this after I’ve had coffee...
Maybe when I come back in from getting the mail, I’ll have some tea and another mini-sourdough. Those little ones are just perfect for me. Sometimes, the big ones are just too much for one sitting.
Check your account. I need to have Frank read before leaving for Sally’s appointment. He’s learning weird ways to make the long-A sound, like “eigh.”
I don’t like “Cheshire Cat “ bananas.
That makes me go ga-ga. All it needs now is Cheetos for hair.
Quick fried for a crackly crunch or baked for a delicate crunch?
The thing about bananas is they give both a snack and entertainment at the same time. Especially if you drop the peel in an appropriate place.
The spicy ones, so you can say you saw a flaming redhaired banana in pajamas. Erk!
LOL
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