Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
34 here, but according to the weather-feed, it feels colder. I haven’t been outside yet. Soon I’ll be loading up a number of Offspring to go to the gym. Sally will go to the yoga class at 8:30.
My laundry cart is all loaded up and ready to go, and all I can do is think about how I hate standing in the cold, waiting for Robert to show up. *sheesh*
At least, when I’m done with the laundry, it’s pretty much downhill from there. I don’t have to stress about anything else. And I have a new puzzle book to start on while I’m waiting for my laundry to cycle. :o])
Oh, no!! The dreaded attack banana!!!
Poor Fluffy!
kitteh knows that where there is a banana clip, than an AK-47 lurks nearby.
That would scare me, too! Unless I had the AK-47... ;o]
I had them streaming in the background so I could hear the countdown.
As bad as they were, Seeing Mayor and Mrs. de Blasio on stage after was worse.
Well, 2016 is starting out to be a banner year.
I had to resolve some problems in the upgrade I did yesterday and jump in to my 8-11 Monday Morning meeting.
Been to the gym and the shower. Next I need to go to Walmart. Epic Fail needs more primer to cover all the scribbling on the walls in the byos’ room. And we need pizza. And James’s shoes are worn out and too small.
The more things change...
It’s hardly like a new year at all. But at least there’s sunshine.
“”Monday? You can’t be series!”
This may indeed be hugh!
Word.
I just finished the laundry, and will head out to Walmart as soon as the morphine kicks in.
It rained while my back was turned, and I wasn’t ready for it.
So now, I will go get the supplements I need. I don’t know what would happen if I quit taking them, but I’m not sure I want to find out.
I’m tired, so when I come home, I might do a power nap. ;o]
Do you have rain, yet? I was in the laundry room for almost two hours and it rained while I was in there. The window is almost all covered over with a drink machine and a tall book case that is wedged into to corner, so you really can’t even get to the window to look outside.
Now I’m on my way to Walmart. *sigh*
The rain is scary because I need new wiper blades and don’t have enough money for them. I’m not happy with the brand I got, and that’s the truth.
But I gotta go to Walmart.
It’s drizzling here right now.
Not here. The cats have Sunbeam.
I have “Wetbeam”
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