Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
The rain has stopped. I’m sure it will be back. Tom isn’t home: he may be stuck at Whoever’s house until the water goes down.
OK. That was worth a chuckle.
COL.
Little known story about ol’ Hal Smith, a.k.a. Otis. He wasn’t really a drunk. The Andy Griffith Show phased Otis’ character out when they felt it wasn’t good to portray public intoxication like that. He didn’t do much more TV work.
But he did a lot of voice work. We came into contact with him again, unknowingly, when our kids started listening to “Adventures in Odyssey,” a radio program produced by Focus on the Family. He played John Avery Whitaker, whose ice cream shop called “Whit’s End” was the focal scene of the fictional town of Odyssey.
He died in 1992 but we didn’t know. Whit was written as having gone on a long trip and the town had to figure out how to do without his wisdom for a while. They finally had the character return with a different voice after they figured the kids would not be able to remember the difference. Then they told the story of his failing health and death.
I remember him very fondly as Whit. It was a great program that we parents could listen along with and enjoy. And he was nothing like Otis.
IIRC, there were (will be) lots of wars in 2120 so I’m not surprised you woke up then. I haven’t visited 0340 much. I’m not a fan of the baths. So I’m not sure why that would have kept you awake.
Hahahaha!
I’m glad I didn’t wake up any sooner, as I might be stuck in a time warp!
I detected a cleverness going on here.
*chortle*
Now back to my efforts to achieve a slightly higher level of cleanliness in the byos’ room. We’re working on the assumption that Epic Fail will make it home sometime today to paint another wall.
Just got back from Walmart to find that Circle K still has not returned the $100 deposit they took from my account when I got gas. Next time I wash the truck at Circle K, I will gas it up at Rebel.
This is frustrating! I still have one bill to pay, and cant do it until that money is refunded. Dang.
I put some country ribs in the crock pot about 90 minutes ago, so they should be done long about noon or so. I usually use the toaster oven, but these are HUGH ribs, so I figured I’d do them like a pork roast.
That decrepit old lady that is trying to commit suicide by car parking has found a spot farther away from her apartment but one she can just drive straight into and back out of as easily. Good for her!
Well, that stinks.
It’s already almost hot enough in here to turn on the air conditioner. I’m going to go run another load of laundry ...
All I can do is simmer about it, and that’s not going to accomplish anything. But I know better, now, and won’t repeat it.
It’s only 37 here, but the sun is shining. And there is a breeze. I’ve done all I’m going to do today, except get those few dishes done!
Cleverness is far to kind a word for it.
Wit?
The dishes are now done, so my kitchen is clean.
I’m now enjoying a small cobb salad, since I was up so early, but imagine my surprise when I took the first bite and the dressing was bleu cheese. I’ll eat it, but I was expecting ranch.
I will probably eat again before Charlie comes to help me eat the ribs, but not quite so much — more like yogurt or rice pudding around noon, when I take my next batch of pills
I checked on the progress of my pills, and had they been set from CA, which is more often the case, they would be here today. They were shipped from Ohio, so it will be Monday. *sigh*
And I forgot to check the progress of the Dell...the way this Toshiba is acting, one would think there was nothing wrong with it that upset me so much. Go figger.
Maybe half?
Computers are a pain. I’m going to make vegetable soup.
Shhhhhhh.
If you listen very carefully you will hear the Toshiba chuckling to itself and congratulating itself and the Dell on such a cleverly executed plan.
That used to work for me until they took away the on-off switch on everything. I don’t like engineers.
I’m going to make carrots with cinnamon and butter, but I can’t decide on whether to make baked red potatoes or have sweet potatoes. The latter is more work, of course...
But vegetable soup sounds good. (I’m thinking the store is full of all kinds of things I can make soup with that don’t come in a can... *Ideas for weight loss?*)
The sun is coming in the window again...into my eyes if I turn my head a fraction to the right!
Sweet potatoes are better.
My soup has onion, celery, bell peppers, and garlic. After all that cooks, I’ll add either a can of pumpkin or frozen carrots, depending on which I’ve got.
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