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Frank Conversation Between A Muslim And A Democrat
Found on the web, improved it | Dec 5, 2015 | Derivative work by Laz A. Mataz

Posted on 12/05/2015 4:10:33 AM PST by Lazamataz

MUSLIM: "We did this because our holy texts exhort us to to do it."

DEMOCRAT: "No you didn't."

MUSLIM:"Wait, what? Yes we did..."

DEMOCRAT: "No, this has nothing to do with religion. You guys are just using religion as a front for social and geopolitical reasons."

MUSLIM: "WHAT!? Did you even read our official statement? We give explicit Quranic justification. This is jihad, a holy crusade against pagans, blasphemers, and disbelievers."

DEMOCRAT: "No, this is definitely not a Muslim thing. You guys are not true Muslims, and you defame a great religion by saying so."

MUSLIM: "Huh!? Who are you to tell us we're not true Muslims!? Islam is literally at the core of everything we do, and we have implemented the truest most literal and honest interpretation of its founding texts. It is our very reason for being."

DEMOCRAT: "Nope. We created you. We installed a social and economic system that alienates and disenfranchises you, and that's why you did this. We're sorry."

MUSLIM: "What? Why are you apologizing? We just slaughtered you mercilessly in the streets. We targeted unwitting civilians - disenfranchisement doesn't even enter into it!"

DEMOCRAT: "Easy access to guns is what drives your anger."

MUSLIM: "It's not the guns! We will knife you, hang you, burn you, run you over, and bombs are easy to create in our kitchens! We don't care about the guns! In fact, civilian might actually make it difficult for us!"

DEMOCRAT: "Obviously we need to ban all guns. We need to overturn the Second Amendment."

MUSLIM: "By Allah, you are a motherless tool! The weapon is not the issue! Our Holy Jihad against you is the only thing that is important!"

DEMOCRAT: "Climate Change is the reason you rage against us. We deserve it."

MUSLIM: "WHAT??!? What the hell does Climate Change have to do with this???"

DEMOCRAT: "Because of Climate Change, the oceans will rise by one-tenth of one inch, and that makes you furious...."

MUSLIM: (facepalms)

DEMOCRAT: "You see no future for your children because of Climate Change so you strap bombs on them and send them into shopping malls.

MUSLIM: "NO DAMMIT. It has NOTHING to do with Climate Change or Gun Control or ANYTHING like that! It is because we follow the teachings of the Prophet Mohammad, who tells us to put all unbelievers to the sword! We are commanded by Allah to kill you all!"

DEMOCRAT: "This is all caused by the fact we bullied gays and transgenders in our past. If we hadn't been so mean, and accepted Bruce Jenner for the amazing woman he was all those years, you would not be trying to kill us. Please forgive us."

MUSLIM: "ARE YOU INSANE??? We kill gays the moment we find them! We hang them by their necks any chance we can! Islam hates homosexuality!"

DEMOCRAT: "Listen, it's our fault. We resisted resettling you in our country. We should have given you more welfare and food stamps. We don't blame you for feeling unwelcome and lashing out."

MUSLIM: "Seriously, stop taking credit for this! We worked really hard to pull this off, and we're not going to let you take it away from us."

DEMOCRAT: "No, we nourished your extremism. We accept full blame."

MUSLIM: "OMG, how many people do we have to kill around here to finally get our message across?""

DEMOCRAT: "Gun control will fix this."



TOPICS: Cheese, Moose, Sister; Chit/Chat; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: lazamataz
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To: Lazamataz

nicely done


41 posted on 12/05/2015 5:16:15 AM PST by onona
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To: RoosterRedux

That’s not the terrorists. That’s supposedly Farooq’ s brother and sister-in-law.


42 posted on 12/05/2015 5:20:10 AM PST by Batman11 (The orange, weeping, drunk, squishy oompah-loompah and Yertle McTurd-le gotta go!)
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To: Lazamataz
Hilarious! Brilliant! And literally correct. This conversation could actually happen between an Islamist and a democrat.

ISLAM IS THE WORLDS BIGGEST HATE GROUP !

43 posted on 12/05/2015 5:26:24 AM PST by Awgie (truth is always stranger than fiction)
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To: Lazamataz

You know, Mohammed chopped up and slaughtered thousands of people, thusly distorting and defaming a great religion. He was not a true muslim.

Nor were the hordes who chopped their way across North Africa, and South Asia, through Spain and all the way to the edge of Vienna, they were not true muslims either.

They likewise distort and defame a great religion.

ISIS and Al Qaeda, and Boko Haram, and all the billions of people across the world and up and down the streets of America who support them, they aren’t true muslims either. They think they are, but they are not.

So, since these people are all heretics, who dishonor a great and noble religion, can we please stop feeling guilty about fighting back? Can we please all agree to keep them the heck out of our country?


44 posted on 12/05/2015 5:32:39 AM PST by marron
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To: RoosterRedux

Dressed to kill.


45 posted on 12/05/2015 5:34:42 AM PST by wita
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To: Lazamataz

This is really excellent.

My only problem is that 25 years ago I would have had a really good laugh.

Now, I have to fight back a tear.


46 posted on 12/05/2015 5:35:41 AM PST by exit82 ("The Taliban is on the inside of the building" E. Nordstrom 10-10-12)
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To: Lazamataz

Nicely done bump.


47 posted on 12/05/2015 5:36:21 AM PST by FreedomPoster (Islam delenda est)
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To: RoosterRedux

She must have powdered the anal wart on her nose


48 posted on 12/05/2015 5:36:44 AM PST by Vaquero ( Don't pick a fight with an old guy. If he is too old to fight, he'll just kill you. .)
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To: Awgie; onona; RoosterRedux; Redleg Duke; usconservative
Hilarious! Brilliant! And literally correct. This conversation could actually happen between an Islamist and a democrat.

(Curtsy)


49 posted on 12/05/2015 5:37:38 AM PST by Lazamataz ( If they try firearm confiscation or gun registration, I go ballistic.)
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To: Lazamataz

damn I thought I had already stooped that low. Now I find I have to respond to the shameless begging. Put me down, not like a dog, on the ping list please.


50 posted on 12/05/2015 5:38:36 AM PST by wita
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To: Lazamataz
This clearly crosses the micro aggression line so:


51 posted on 12/05/2015 5:41:18 AM PST by 50mm (Trust nobody and you'll never be disappointed.)
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To: Lazamataz
Thankfully, SWAT hit that evil bitch numerous times for all of us!

We need some talented Freepers to make a You-Tube video.

52 posted on 12/05/2015 5:41:51 AM PST by TexasCajun (#BlackViolenceMatters)
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To: Lazamataz

If there were such a thing, I would nominate you and the individual who wrote the original comment, for inclusion in the Comments Hall of Fame. I have copied the comment and expect to use it numerous times in the future.


53 posted on 12/05/2015 5:44:52 AM PST by jhroberts
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To: Lazamataz

You might be a gentleman and a scholar.


54 posted on 12/05/2015 5:47:36 AM PST by ecomcon
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To: Lazamataz

Well, if they are trying to have intelligent conversations with Liberals, that’s purt’near enough to make them want to blow themselves up, right there.


55 posted on 12/05/2015 5:49:16 AM PST by Smokin' Joe (How often God must weep at humans' folly. Stand fast. God knows what He is doing.)
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To: jhroberts
Whoever wrote the original wrote about half of it. He or she only focused on the argument about what Islam is. I realized that a GOOD liberal would also include points about gun control and climate change and failing to embrace illegal Syrian 'refugees' and so on. So I wrote the other half.

Now, this unidentified person has my eternal gratitude, because they coined an idea, that I will run with. I will be writing a whole series of "Sensible Conversations With A Democrat(c)". Watch this space.

56 posted on 12/05/2015 5:51:07 AM PST by Lazamataz ( If they try firearm confiscation or gun registration, I go ballistic.)
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To: RoosterRedux

That is NOT her. It is the brotherinlaw and his wife.


57 posted on 12/05/2015 5:52:24 AM PST by PIF (They came for me and mine ... now it is your turn ...)
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To: Vaquero
"A beautiful girl in every sack..."

Still, some of 'em should get double bagged.

58 posted on 12/05/2015 5:52:48 AM PST by Smokin' Joe (How often God must weep at humans' folly. Stand fast. God knows what He is doing.)
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To: RoosterRedux

Is this the actual perp and Mrs. perp in happier times?


59 posted on 12/05/2015 5:54:06 AM PST by WorkingClassFilth
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To: Lazamataz

Well done Laz. Very well done.


60 posted on 12/05/2015 5:55:03 AM PST by InterceptPoint
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