It’s been yet another very long week. Glad that Friday’s here!!!!!
WOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOO TGIF!
#-fewer-than-the-number-of-GOP-presidential-candidates, woo hoo!
IN!!
TOP 10!!!
TOP 20!!!!
Great job on finding all the unknown candidates who help bring humor to our page!
HA! I had not thought about Romper Room in years.
Had a friend in high school whose older brother used to date Miss Molly. We had a running bet on whether or not she put out. Never got an answer on that one.
Top 73%?
"Ladies and gentlemen, I'm so very sorry but it appears that there has been a terrible mixup one minute prior to takeoff, by our airport catering service... I don't know how this has happened but we have 103 passengers on board and, unfortunately, only 40 dinner meals... I truly apologize for this mistake and inconvenience."
When the passengers' muttering had died down, she continued, "Anyone who is kind enough to give up their meal so that someone else can eat will receive free, unlimited drinks for the duration of our 5 hour flight."
Her next announcement came 90 minutes later...
"If anyone would like to change their minds, we still have 40 dinners available!
An aphorism is a terse saying, expressing a general truth, principle, or astute observation, and spoken or written in a laconic and memorable form.
It's not whether you win or lose, but how you place the blame.
When blondes have more fun, do they know it?
LEARN FROM YOUR PARENTS' MISTAKES: USE BIRTH CONTROL
We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
A couple of statistical aphorisms:
Every day, I go down the street and tell passersby what I have eaten, how I feel, what I have done the night before, what I will be doing today and my plans for the future. I freely spout my political and religious thoughts without regard to theirs. I give them pictures of my family, my friends, my dog, my vacations, my gardening and spending time in my pool. I also listen to their conversations, and I tell them I love them.
Amazingly, it really works. I already have 3 persons following me: 2 police officers and a psychiatrist.
Top 25...been a while
Top fifty woot
A US Border Patrol Agent catches an illegal alien in the bushes right by the border fence.
He pulls him out and says, “Sorry, you know the law, you’ve got to go back across the border right now.”
The Mexican man pleads with him, “No, noooo, Senor, I must stay in de USA! Pleeeze!”
The border patrol agent thinks to himself, I’m going to make it hard for him, and says “OK, I’ll let you stay if you can use three English words in a sentence.”
The Mexican man of course agrees.
The Border Patrol Agent tells him, “The three words are: green, pink and yellow. Now use them in one sentence.”
The Mexican man thinks really hard for about two minutes, then says,
“OK. The phone, it went green, green, green... I pink it up, and sez yellow?”
Declared 2016 Democratic Presidential Candidate
Chicago businessman, philanthropist and recording artist
Declared 2016 Democratic Presidential Candidate Willie Wilson
Willie Wilson is a classic rags-to-riches American success story. The poor Louisiana boy who fled conditions he considered to be virtual slavery and once worked as a janitor for $2 an hour eventually came to own the stores he used to mop. Now, a self-made man, he brings a liberal voice to the presidential race.
The Democrats must be thanking Gaia for that. If not for Willie, who?
Her. I like her.