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Pope Francis: God Has Instructed Me to Revise the Ten Commandments (satire)
http://realnewsrightnow.com ^

Posted on 07/07/2015 8:32:31 AM PDT by Lucky9teen

GUAYAQUIL, Ec. – Pope Francis kicked off the start of a three-nation trip across South America today with his first mass, with over a million Ecuadorians in attendance, in the coastal city of Guayaquil. Delivering the mass in Spanish, the Pope spoke about the importance of family in modern society, saying, “It needs to be helped and strengthened, lest we lose our proper sense of the services which society as a whole provides.”

During his sermon, Pope Francis announced to Christians around the world that God had called upon him, instructing him “to revise the most sacred of texts, the Ten Commandments.” Given to the Israelites by God himself at Mount Sinai, the Commandments include instructions for worship and list several prohibited practices.

Pope Francis said Christians around the world are “faced with ever-increasing temptations brought on by the evils of modern society.” The Pope said the updated Commandments reflect the changing times and include some minor rewording of the existing rules as well as the addition of two new Commandments.

The Fourth Commandment, which advocates that proper respect be shown towards one’s parents, has been reworded in order to include children raised by same-sex parents. Pope Francis said the Seventh Commandment, prohibiting adultery and, among other things, homosexuality, has been removed entirely, as instructed by God, in order to extend “God’s grace to all His children.”

Addressing the inclusion of the new Commandments, which bring the total number to eleven, Pope Francis praised the rapid growth of technology in the digital age but said “progress comes at a price.” The new Fifth Commandment, which replaces the prohibition of adultery, forbids all aspects of genetic engineering and bans the consumption of genetically modified foods.

Lastly, the Eleventh Commandment disallows personal idolization and the glorification of one’s self over God. Using the Kardashians, a highly publicized celebrity family, as an example, Pope Francis said, “Selfies are an abomination in the eyes of our Lord.”

A spokesman for the Vatican, Father Federico Lombardi, said the Eleven Commandments are currently being etched into marble by an Italian sculptor and, upon completion, will be unveiled to the world in Saint Peter’s Square following an internationally televised mass.


TOPICS: Conspiracy; Humor; Religion
KEYWORDS: catholicism; pope; satire; tencommandments
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To: Lucky9teen

As Obama said of the Constitution, the pope feels the Ten Commandments mostly say what thou shalt not do. They should be expanded to list all the things you can do.Income redistribution, gun grabbing, and mandating green energy being three of them.


21 posted on 07/07/2015 8:45:12 AM PDT by Wilderness Conservative
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To: Lucky9teen

The pope’s version of ‘hope and change’.


22 posted on 07/07/2015 8:47:05 AM PDT by Parmy
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To: Lucky9teen

The Ten Commandments (Exodus 20:2-17 NKJV)

1) - “I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage. You shall have no other gods before Me.

2) - “You shall not make for yourself a carved image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth; you shall not bow down to them nor serve them. For I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and fourth generations of those who hate Me, but showing mercy to thousands, to those who love Me and keep My Commandments.

3) - “You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain, for the Lord will not hold him guiltless who takes His name in vain.

4) - “Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is the Sabbath of the Lord your God. In it you shall do no work: you, nor your son, nor your daughter, nor your male servant, nor your female servant, nor your cattle, nor your stranger who is within your gates. For in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, and rested the seventh day. Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and hallowed it.

5) - “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you.

6) - “You shall not murder.

7) - “You shall not commit adultery.

8) - “You shall not steal.

9) - “You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.

10) - “You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor’s.”

http://www.the-ten-commandments.org/the-ten-commandments.html


23 posted on 07/07/2015 8:47:10 AM PDT by ETL (ALL (most?) of the Obama-commie connections at my FR Home page: http://www.freerepublic.com/~etl/)
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To: Lucky9teen

Sorry, the way this upside down world has been going, nothing is surprising anymore.


24 posted on 07/07/2015 8:47:50 AM PDT by kenmcg
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To: Lucky9teen

Is it really that far from what is possible?

Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon, and for the rest of what’s left of the time Western Civilization has on earth.


25 posted on 07/07/2015 8:49:22 AM PDT by samtheman
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To: Lucky9teen

Thank you for the satire tag!
Charlton Heston in: “The Ten Suggestions”


26 posted on 07/07/2015 8:49:43 AM PDT by Zathras
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To: Lucky9teen

What was once satire is now Supreme Court rulings and canon law.


27 posted on 07/07/2015 8:51:00 AM PDT by Raycpa
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To: Responsibility2nd

given the rest of the articles on said site Id say that thus can safely be said to be satire...although it’s a very very CLOSE call!!


28 posted on 07/07/2015 8:53:00 AM PDT by MeshugeMikey ("Never, Never, Never, Give Up," Winston Churchill ><>)
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To: dware

“I think garbage like this should always be marked “satire” in the headline.”

That’s actually FR policy, enacted a few months ago.


29 posted on 07/07/2015 8:54:19 AM PDT by ctdonath2 (The world map will be quite different come 20 January 2017.)
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To: Lucky9teen

Ooh! You’re in trouble now. Teacher gonna get you for that.


30 posted on 07/07/2015 8:55:35 AM PDT by Quality_Not_Quantity (Liars use facts when the truth doesn't suit their purposes.)
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To: Lucky9teen

So is this satire or not? The way the pope has been acting I’d believe it first.


31 posted on 07/07/2015 8:57:21 AM PDT by SkyDancer ( "Nobody Said I Was Perfect But Yet Here I Am")
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To: Lucky9teen

Satire is supposed to be at least somewhat funny. This is just juvenile,


32 posted on 07/07/2015 8:57:21 AM PDT by JennysCool (My hypocrisy goes only so far)
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To: Lucky9teen
Satire needs to be listed as such - no matter one's agenda.

Besides, Jesus revised the 10 Commandments/Laws of the Old Testament by telling us to love God with every fiber of our being and to love our neighbors as ourselves - for where there is love, there is no harm and that fulfills the intent of the prior Laws...

33 posted on 07/07/2015 8:57:26 AM PDT by trebb (Where in the the hell has my country gone?)
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To: Lucky9teen

The sad part is how believable this would be in a year or two, with this Marxist demon in full jihad against Christianity.


34 posted on 07/07/2015 8:57:39 AM PDT by montag813 (Pray for Israel)
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To: Lucky9teen
This is a joke, right?

This cannot be a serious article and the accusation cannot be accurate.

35 posted on 07/07/2015 9:00:20 AM PDT by Mariner (War Criminal #18 - Be The Leaderless Resistance)
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To: Lucky9teen
No biggie. The catholics have been revising/erasing/modifying God's word ever since Paul warned Timothy concerning doctrines of demons in 1 Timothy 4.

1 Tim 4:1-4: Now the Spirit speaketh expressly, that in the latter times some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils; Speaking lies in hypocrisy; having their conscience seared with a hot iron; Forbidding to marry, and commanding to abstain from meats, which God hath created to be received with thanksgiving of them which believe and know the truth. For every creature of God is good, and nothing to be refused, if it be received with thanksgiving:

Every Friday in school we always ate fish. It was actually quite good. Extra patties for a quarter. I never knew it was because the public school was in a predominately catholic district. All that time it was about their "doctrine?" Then one of their popes said it was ok to eat meat on Friday? Uh, ok.

36 posted on 07/07/2015 9:03:11 AM PDT by LouAvul (Liberalism: much more than just a mental illness)
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To: Lucky9teen
The very best satire always has you wondering if it is true or not. Obvious exaggerations won't work, instead there has to be subtle modifications of a person's positions, so that the reader thinks that he might just say or do that.

Because of all his previous outrageous statements, Pope Francis would be a hard person to satire.

37 posted on 07/07/2015 9:07:13 AM PDT by CommerceComet (Ignore the GOP-e. Cruz to victory in 2016.)
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