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Funeral for [A] Dog
December 20, 2014

Posted on 12/20/2014 1:37:04 PM PST by NKP_Vet

Man walks into a Catholic church and asks the priest if he will do a funeral for his dog. Looking dazed the priest says "sir absolutely not, this is a Catholic church, we don't do funerals for animals. Go down to the protestant church, I'm sure they do a lovely funeral for your dog". The man said "thank your Father, do you think $10,000 is enough to offer for my dog's funeral". "$10,000 the priest exclaimed, why didn't you tell me your dog was Catholic"!!


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: catholic; doggieping; dogs
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1 posted on 12/20/2014 1:37:04 PM PST by NKP_Vet
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To: NKP_Vet

That sounds more scientologist to me...


2 posted on 12/20/2014 1:40:35 PM PST by Don W (When blacks riot, neighborhoods and cities burn. When whites riot, nations and continents burn))
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To: Don W

I thought it was “right on the money”.


3 posted on 12/20/2014 1:43:57 PM PST by gorush (History repeats itself because human nature is static)
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To: NKP_Vet

Not so sure about the Catholic part ... but definitely democrat


4 posted on 12/20/2014 1:44:37 PM PST by knarf
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To: knarf

These days, what`s the difference?


5 posted on 12/20/2014 1:47:16 PM PST by nomad
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To: NKP_Vet

I’ve told that one a few times; always good for a belly laugh!


6 posted on 12/20/2014 1:48:08 PM PST by spacejunkie2001
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To: gorush

LOL, very PUNNY!


7 posted on 12/20/2014 1:48:30 PM PST by Don W (When blacks riot, neighborhoods and cities burn. When whites riot, nations and continents burn))
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To: knarf
You have heard about that new guy they got in the Vatican?

So repeating: What`s the difference?

8 posted on 12/20/2014 1:48:58 PM PST by nomad
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To: NKP_Vet

That is funny!!!


9 posted on 12/20/2014 1:49:54 PM PST by tallyhoe
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To: NKP_Vet

Heh.


10 posted on 12/20/2014 1:50:48 PM PST by OddLane
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To: spacejunkie2001

Money jokes are irrespective of religious group

Once there was an airliner over the Pacific that began to ave engine trouble. As there was no place within 1000 miles to land the plane was going to have to ditch into the ocean right in the middle of a typhoon. The pilot informed the passengers of the bad news over the intercom and added that they had about 20 minutes of glide time before the all died in the crash and advised them to all make peace with their Lord.

Several Buddhist on the plane began to meditate. The Catholics began praying the rosary and the Baptist took up an offering


11 posted on 12/20/2014 1:55:16 PM PST by Fai Mao (Genius at Large)
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To: NKP_Vet

A young Irish lass goes home to see old Dad for the first time in 3 years. As she walks in the door she hands him a stack of cash and says, “Here you go, Dad, a little something to help you out.”

Dad says, “now, where would a lass like you be getting all that money?”

“I’ve become a prostitute, Daddy, and I have a lot of money now.”

“Well, ye’re not welcome in my house. Now, take this filthy lucre and get out, forever.”

“Does that mean you don’t want the new car and truck load of good Irish whiskey, either?”

“Wait, did you say prostitute?, I thought you said protestant. Come give yer old daddy a big hug.”


12 posted on 12/20/2014 1:57:51 PM PST by jstaff
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To: All

A young black kid asks his mother, “Mama, what is Socialism and what is Racism?”

“Well, child, socialism is when white folks work every day so we can get all our stuff free, like cell phones for each family member, rent subsidy, food stamps, EBT, WIC, free school lunch, free healthcare, utility subsidy, and on and on, ...you know. That’s socialism “.

“But mama, don’t the white people get mad about that?”

“Sure they do honey. That’s called racism.”


13 posted on 12/20/2014 2:11:25 PM PST by patriot08 (NATIVE TEXAN (girl type))
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To: patriot08

THAT’S...THAT’S...THAT’S...pretty darn true to life, actually.


14 posted on 12/20/2014 3:10:20 PM PST by Excellence (Marine mom since April 11, 2014)
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To: jstaff

That one’s my favorite!


15 posted on 12/20/2014 3:14:25 PM PST by rabidralph
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To: patriot08

Trash like that is one reason I can’t recommend this board to anyone I know. It is an embarrassment.


16 posted on 12/20/2014 3:16:03 PM PST by don-o (He will not share His glory and He will NOT be mocked! Blessed be the name of the Lord forever!)
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To: don-o

Trash like that is one reason I can’t recommend this board to anyone I know. It is an embarrassment.

I get it. Hit the abuse button.


17 posted on 12/20/2014 3:27:33 PM PST by Chickensoup (Leftist totalitarian fascism is on the move.)
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To: don-o
Ok, let me see if I understand. Besides you proving the joke, according to the completely humor-free don-0, we can't get mad and we can't laugh. Queen Victoria gave one of her frightened daughters some advice on handling her wedding night.... Is it what you would recommend? We just lie on our backs and think of strawberries? 😀
18 posted on 12/20/2014 4:34:36 PM PST by tumblindice (America's founding fathers: all armed conservatives.)
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To: don-o

I think you miss his point: Many blacks (and white liberals) ARE CONVINCED that capitalism is “white” and only benefits whites, and socialism is the only system that will benefit blacks, and that therefore anyone who resists it is racist.


19 posted on 12/20/2014 4:37:53 PM PST by A_perfect_lady
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To: don-o
Trash like that is one reason I can’t recommend this board to anyone I know. It is an embarrassment.

Just tell them to stay away from "chat" and "the smoky backroom". Sheesh!

20 posted on 12/20/2014 4:53:58 PM PST by raybbr (Obamacare needs a death panel.)
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