***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD***

[Lucky9teen]

#WorstHolidayTradition

@HalBrennan tweeted: “We always leave milk and cookies out on Christmas Eve, but find two empty beer bottles in the morning.”

@ManningInc posted, “The arms from Baby Jesus in our nativity scene broke off, so now we replace them with miniature pretzel sticks.”

@graciebell06 tweeted, “As each gift is opened my uncle yells, “It’s a sports bra!”

@ziggaplease tweeted, “After unwrapping a present, we ball up the paper and throw it at the ceiling fan and cheer when someone gets hit in the face.”

@m0d0k posted, “After our Christmas dinner, my family gets out a cuff to see whose blood pressure is the highest.”

@kelseymh stated, “We aren’t allowed to open any presents if we don’t have these on.” He further shared a picture of his family wearing red or green sweaters and stripe pajamas.

@Hasty3000 tweeted, “Driving to a church to find out it doesn’t have a service at that time.”

@mur_dawg shared, “Having to choose one family dinner over another.”

@ClintMcComb tweeted, “3rd straight X-Mas night driving back to St. Louis from Chicago.”

@MarkjewiczSarah posted, “And here goes my mom’s annual speech about how she thinks I don’t have a heart and will be a cat lady.”

 

 

 

Can You #XMasAMovie From Another Genre?

#ChristmasFail

Mom mixed my wrapping paper w/ my older bro's. I opened Eurotrip Unrated, not Ghostbusters. I was 7. #ChristmasFail

A couple of years ago my family didn't get a tree till the 23rd.... And it didn't come down till March #ChristmasFail

One year I received a iPod box expecting to get one when it first came out and then when I opened it.. A bar of soap #ChristmasFail

One year I had to re-open a gift so my dad could film the reaction because the camera was off the first time. #ChristmasFailSandy Claws

Sister bought a xmas tree, it didn't smell enough like pine so she doused it in air freshener needles fell off immediately. ##ChristmasFail

Today my mom told me, "We're doing useful presents this year. We got you a book on how to find a man." #thanksmom #ChristmasFail

One year the man I was dating gave me an expensive necklace with my name in gold. It was beautiful, but my name isn't Diane #ChristmasFail

Last Xmas my dad printed off my brothers internet history from the past year & made it into a book for the familys enjoyment. #ChristmasFail

One year my cat ate all the tinsel off of our tree. The tree lost some of its shine, but my cat had some really pretty poops! #ChristmasFail

One year my great grandmother spent the entire day at the neighbors mistaking them for our family. No one said a word. #ChristmasFail

yeah, you don't want those Christmas lights on your tree. #ChristmasFail

My grandma made a pie and forgot the sugar. We put it outside and the dog ended up peeing on it. #ChristmasFail

My aunt told me when she was young, her brothers got everything she asked for on Christmas #ChristmasFail

School sign #ChristmasFail

How does this even happen? #christmasfail

You had ONE job! #ChristmasFail

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A Cativity Scene - Frankincense , Myrrh, and a Hairball

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[Malone LaVeigh]

Holiday Feast

[left that other site]

I usually go up to 11!

[W.]

A heartwarming Chinese Christmas story. And the comments are pure cheese gold!

[Yorlik803]

would have been here sooner but they were showing “Fort Apache” on TV. Cant pass up Henry Fonda and John Wayne.

[left that other site]

Sacrificing your spot in the Top Ten for the sake of Fort Apache is a noble thing.

[TADSLOS]

Top 30 Something!

[ShadowAce]

HOLLYWOOD (KCNA) — The Revolutionary Artists Committee of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences is happy to announce that His Excellency Kim Jong-un will host the 87th annual Academy Awards. This will be the first time a supreme leader of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea has led the ceremony, but it most certainly will not be the last.

“All peoples celebrate Dear Leader’s most humble decision to host the Oscars,” said Sony Pictures Chairman and CEO Michael Lynton. “We have witnessed his strength and honor from afar and welcome the divine opportunity to explode our love in his presence. To obey Doctor Leader’s magnanimous offer to host the Oscars is perfect joy, all of his resources and talent coming together on global stage.”

Lynton helped redesign the iconic Oscar statuette “to better model the ideal human form” and offered a stern warning for enemies of the Juche Spirit. “The vile capitalist running-dogs Seth Rogen and James Franco do shame the nation and Hollywood-industry with their thrice-cursed crimes,” he said via short-wave radio. “Such villains of the Eternal Party will pay for their heinous betrayals and scandals which the era shall dutifully record.”

The multiple crimes committed by the accused will be proven at start of the Oscars, followed by a public confession and swift execution.

“All traitors will feel the bite of Kim Jong-un’s hot heel,” said Paramount Pictures head Brad Grey. “I will applaud the end of reactionary hooligans who deliver naught but indolence and shame. We strongly denounce false films like Team America which spread shuddering lies in a crafty manner.”

A triple-threat performer, Kim Jong-un has enjoyed a wildly successful career in his home country. He wins every award in song, sport and cinema, much like his fathers before him. The early front-runner for Best Picture is Glorious Baekdu-mountain Give Sun Energy while the single nominee for Best Song is “Joyous Beet Tractor, Shine in His Prospering.” A lifetime achievement award will be granted to Russell from the Pixar film Up.

Spirit of the World-nation Kim Jong-un is pleased both with his hosting duties and the awards he will win. “I am contented beyond happiness. Despite savage anti-party plots to create illusion, the mighty river flows under the bridge. The lineage of Paektu will remain undergirded and irreplaced.”

The Oscars will be held at the Dolby Theatre at Hollywood & Highland Center in Hollywood, and will be broadcast live on all channels. We strongly advise every citizen to watch.

[upchuck]

Top 200 :)

Ironic:

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Ya just gotta love this sign...

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You've prolly seen this before, but it's still funny:

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are the winners:

2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

3. Intaxicaton: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid

7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit)

11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

12. Decafalon (n): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

13. Glibido: All talk and no action.

14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

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h/t to Art

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Link to awesome Rameriz cartoon.

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Muslim wife says to her husband, "You don't love me anymore".

Husband says, "Of course I do. Why would you say that"?

Wife says, "You don't carry me up the stairs to bed anymore like you used to".

Husband says "You're not six years old anymore".

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Christmas Carols for the Disturbed (dedicated to all our Lieberal friends)

Schizophrenia --- Do You Hear What I Hear?

Multiple Personality Disorder --- We Three Kings Disoriented Are

Dementia --- I Think I'll be Home for Christmas

Narcissistic --- Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me (nobama knows the words to this one by heart)

Manic --- Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and.....

Paranoid --- Santa Claus is Coming to Town to Get Me

Borderline Personality Disorder --- Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire

Personality Disorder --- You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll Tell You Why

Attention Deficit Disorder --- Silent night, Holy oooh look at the froggy - can I have a chocolate, why is France so far away?

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder --Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle,Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle

[PieterCasparzen]

Now that’s funny.

[Heartlander]

White House describes attacks on Sony Pictures as 'spontaneous hacking in response to offensive video mocking Juche and its prophet'
- The Peoples Cube

[Envisioning]

That first pic is a keeper.....

[upchuck]

Is that some kind of really twisted bondage game?

[ErnBatavia]

[ZirconEncrustedTweezers]

I'm so ronery...

[Rummyfan]

This is pretty silly. But apparently true!

Shrinking Shipp Bubbles Could Counteract Climate Change

[alfa6]

Christmas with Louise

http://www.suddenlysenior.com/xmaswithlouise.html

Regards

alfa6 ;>}

[skinkinthegrass]

more than awesome thread today..
"absolutely fabulous" *snicker! *.

[Lucky9teen]

[dayglored]

TOP 40!!!!

[JRios1968]