High ‘high elf’ stabs Portland woman’s car with sword

NEW YORK DAILY NEWS ^ | Sunday, May 18, 2014, 6:05 PM | Nicole Hensley

[skinkinthegrass]

A Glendale, Ore., man decked out for battle and allegedly high on LSD thought he was fighting the evil ‘Morgoth,’ but really, he was stabbing a woman’s car in a Portland, Ore., intersection.

[skinkinthegrass]

This roleplayer rolled an epic fail.

A woman called 911 after a man sporting chain mail, a battle helmet, shield,
sword and staff ran into a Portland, Ore., intersection and attacked her car.

The melee ended with the arrest of Konrad Bass, 30, after he stabbed her vehicle
several times, reported KATU-TV.

The woman reported the fighting man as a pirate on May 13, but Bass challenged
that title and told police he was a “high elf engaged in battle with the evil Morgoth.”

The high elf is a variety of elves featured in the Dungeons and Dragons role-playing
game and Morgoth was the first Dark Lord of Middle Earth, according to
J.R.R. Tolkien’s “The Silmarillion.”

[driftdiver]

Perhaps a wood elf, or a valley elf, but certainly not a high elf.

I’d also rule out the sun elves as they tend to go for mushrooms and not the man made chemicals.

[dowcaet]

Damnit! Where’s the left demanding knife and sword control?

[skinkinthegrass]

searched/checked- no reply.

SWORD PING!...

[Tax-chick]

We’ve been cracking up over this for more than a week.

[Viking2002]

The Left Coast has been coming unglued this weekend.........

[skinkinthegrass]

don't give 'em any ideas...
next screwdriver control..
flashlight control..etc..etc..

[notpoliticallycorewrecked]

He is right. He is a high elf, but not in the same sense that most of us are thinking.

[Antihero101607]

Must’ve rolled a natural 1.

[Tax-chick]

Maybe not quite a week. Anyway, it’s still funny.

On a technical note, the lady could not have been Melkor/Morgoth in disguise, because he was fixed in his terrifying incarnation after his second assault on the Valar. He could no longer appear as a harmless Portlandish gal in a red BMW.

[2harddrive]

And he got NO JAIL TIME! Epic justice system FAIL!!

[BenLurkin]

THE High Elf

[skinkinthegrass]

Is he; the one, not biblical
(Highlander movie)

[Perdogg]

Eru Ilúvatar will not be pleased.

[skinkinthegrass]

THE High Elf

when you least expect it!
No one expect the Spanish Inquisition!
egads!..i've hijacked my own..*nevermind*

[Tax-chick]

I'm reading the Silmarillion to my younger sons (12, 10, 8, 5). Some of them can intelligently discuss the similarities and differences between the fictional cosmogony and Catholic doctrine, with reference to Greek and Norse myth. (Some are building their vocabulary, if nothing else.)

We don't learn much about the personality of Eru/Iluvatar. Does he have a sense of humor?

[Sherman Logan]

Right. Tulkas is never around when you need him.

[driftdiver]

He must have thrown a spell or something.

No, I don’t play this stupid game.

[E. Pluribus Unum]

[Tax-chick]

Tulkas is never around when you need him.

No kidding. I think the Eldar would have said the same. "Okay, you say you're on our side ... but where are you now?"

Tolkien's fictional spiritual world is a complicated mélange of Christian and Germanic-pagan. You can hear his Germanic heart singing, "Morgen rot, morgen rot!" with the Riders of Rohan, as his Christian intellect reminds us that the berserkergang is a bit ... barbarian ... not quite the thing ... kinda like we're supposed to know better, but ...

If there's an overarching theme, it's "Where were you when I needed you?" "If you're all that, what went wrong?"

It's the universal dilemma of humanity vs. our deities. It can only be "resolved" in Christ: in the incarnation of the Son of God, His passion, death, and resurrection, which subsumes/incorporates our suffering, death, and resurrection.