Posted on 03/22/2014 8:48:53 AM PDT by servo1969
Susan Patton, aka “The Princeton Mom” has finally released her book, Marry Smart, based on the controversial letter she published last year in The Daily Princetonian, which advised young women to focus on finding a husband while in college.
Liberal feminists hate the book. I mean, they just hate it.
Which makes me want to read it, actually.
Anyway, Patton generates so much wrath because she points out one of the big lies behind modern feminism. The lie is this: that to be successful and happy you need to focus on your career and not marriage or children throughout your twenties and early thirties. In other words, the lie is that you can delay, and delay, and delay and still have it all.
Susan Patton has news for you–the biological clock is not a fiction cooked up by the conspiratorial patriarchy. It’s a reality.
In fact, if you are a woman and haven’t started having children by the time you are 35–you are very unlikely to have a successful pregnancy without serious medical intervention–IVF, surrogate pregnancy, etc–and the risk of birth defects increases dramatically as a woman approaches 40.
Those facts often come as quite a surprise to talented, highly-educated women–the kind of women who go to Princeton. They’ve been led to believe that they won’t have to sacrifice anything in the way of their professional careers in order to also be a wife and a mother. Just Lean In a little harder and it can all be yours.
Well, there’s no law that says any young woman should have to want to be a wife or a mother. But if a young woman does want such things, especially, the mother thing, it does require sacrifice on the career front.
Not fair? Well, maybe not. But men aren’t born with wombs–so there you go. And men will never, on average, be as interested in or as willing to do the work of childcare. They just won’t.
It’s called gender difference. It’s real, it’s biological, and it’s not a social construct, regardless of what your freshman year women’s studies professor might have told you.
Patton’s argument, as I understand it, has less to do with the motherhood issue, and more to do with the “wife” issue. She advises young women who want husbands to stop drinking so much and hanging out in bars and stop having sex with men who aren’t committed.
She advises them to treat their hunt for a husband as they would a hunt for a great job–with intention and planning. She advises them to dress well and put on makeup. Close their legs. “If you offer men sex without commitment, you eliminate the incentive for them to commit,” she says, plainly.
Sound old fashioned to you? If so, you may be well on your way to being single, middle-aged, and childless–no matter how smart or attractive, or worthy you are. Has nothing to do with those things. The fact is, the average man these days isn’t exactly rushing into marriage. The average age of first marriage for both sexes continues to climb every year. Meanwhile, the pool of marriageable men diminishes as a woman ages. It’s just simple math. So if a smart young woman wants to get married–why wouldn’t Patton’s advice make sense?
The fact that Patton’s advice doesn’t mesh with the feminist narratives of put-your-career-first and you-don’t-need-a-husband, doesn’t make her advice wrong for those women to whom marriage is a goal and top priority.
In truth, young men would do well to heed most of her advice as well–except for the part about wearing makeup.
It’s all a matter of what you want. No one says you have to want marriage. But if you are a young woman and you do want to get married, then you ignore her advice at your own peril.
My first wife burned her bra while I was serving overseas. She was almost ahead of her time.
Did you recommend that she take an ironing class? I mean, you’d want her skills to improve before she got to your shirts.
Even at my children’s “good” suburban high school, girls are often “bitchez,” and no one is teaching boys the meaning of respect or self-control. America’s ghettoized culture is allowed to flood society, such that everyone is forced to swim in it.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Women's behavior is affected by men's behavior and vice versa -- they're two sides of the same coin.
It amazes me to see posts here celebrating male sexual behavior as completely consequence-free.
The preparation for marriage actually (in my opinion) should start right before the teens. A girl at age twelve or thirteen should start being made aware of marriage and homemaking in addition to career concerns. Young people should start getting together in chaperoned social situations (whatever happened to cotillion?) such as dances, and wholesome behavior should be encouraged and bad behavior discouraged and sanctioned.
I bet the boys will secretly feel relief to be allowed to act (be given permission to act) like gentlemen.
If the male birth control pill ever arrives feminism will be in even more trouble. Men will never father children unless they absolutely desire it.
Jane Fonda was/is her idol.
Respect is something earned not given. Given that the girl fashion of the day is the slut look, can you blame the guys to refer to them as bitches? Add to that Miley Cyrus and twerking and bitch becomes an understatement.
I don’t know about birth defects, etc. being more likely the older mothers get, however, I’ve heard that fertility declines in both men and women as they age.
So, it seems that women trying to get pregnant after 35 could have more problems getting pregnant than they would when they were in their 20s.
This brings up a point, that, for people going for professional careers, they have to be willing to work hard, work late, etc. in their 20s, to build the foundation for that career. And that is difficult to do, if you are a mother at that age, with small children at home.
They can reduce those chances to near zero by using a condom with spermicide.
For some reason they don't.
Possibly because they have bought the lie that all women take birth control pills (they don't) and that if there is a slip she will just get an abortion (not always).
Man, what would that be like?
Imagine young women having to actually convince young men to get them pregnant. Not have sex but get them pregnant. Their number one tool would be seriously weakened. They’d have to get men to actually love them after the sex was over. For a lot of women that would be close to impossible with the men they have to choose from today. Feminism has taught them to place no value on marriage and children. Women would seriously have to change their game then.
They can reduce those chances to near zero by using a condom with spermicide.
For some reason they don't.
Possibly because they have bought the lie that all women take birth control pills (they don't) and that if there is a slip she will just get an abortion (not always).
Where do men get the idea that all women are on the Pill and all will be willing to kill the baby if the Pill doesn't work?
I think that men don't use the condom/spermicide combination because "it ruins the moment" (in the words of some) and some of these men secretly do want to have a child, so don't want to use prophylactic measures.
From other men. Mostly gay men.
I am of the opinion that men have a secret desire to father children. They may not want to raise them or pay for them but they want to sire them. It is like sleeping with every woman you can, it makes you "a real man".
Most of them would not know a real man if he walked up and punched them.
That's not a bug -- that's a feature. :-)
They may not want to raise them or pay for them but they want to sire them. It is like sleeping with every woman you can, it makes you "a real man".
Most of them would not know a real man if he walked up and punched them.
Real men have a sense of honor, responsibility, self-sacrifice and self-control.
Could you also imagine the anger of a woman that got to the point of getting her pregnant only to find out he’s still taking the pill to ensure she’s worth the investment? Perhaps this is why the male pill is so slow in coming, lol
Oh, I agree. But unless you are a multimillionaire who wants an heir for your empire most guys will not admit they want to father kids.
Kids are something WOMEN want. At least that is what they tell themselves.
Real men have a sense of honor, responsibility, self-sacrifice and self-control.
Yes. It is like being a real lady not just a female. It takes work. And all of that work is internal so you get no praise or kudos from the people around you like you would if you worked out and got nice abs or a makeover.
The only person who will really know how much went into making you into a real man or lady is you.
The risks are higher, and success rate lower, for a 40 year old than for a 20 year old.
I disagree entirely. Your statement is basically the bigotry of low expectations. I think if either gender changed their behavior, the other gender would respond by changing behavior as well.
The problem is both sides demanding the other side change first. As always, it will require strong individuals to change first and become the cutting (and often bleeding) edge of a new trend toward virtue and there are many vested interests that will immediately tear them apart.
Since you must be one of those strong individuals, I’m sure you have sent a letter to Miley Cyrus telling her how much you admire and respect her twerking.
Can you please send me a copy of that letter so I know how to word mine?
It’s already started.
Man who fathered 98 kids offers free sex service
http://nypost.com/2014/03/21/man-who-fathered-98-kids-offers-free-sex-service/?utm_campaign=SocialFlow&utm_source=NYPTwitter&utm_medium=SocialFlow
As always, these things are relational and cannot be done at a distance. I’m sure Miss Cyrus has no interest in the opinions of strangers who do not buy her products.
The people who surround her are most certainly telling her the opposite of any friendly advice letter that I could write and that is to whom she will listen.
But I appreciate your confidence in my super powers.
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