"Fly this plane to Luton."
Posted on 03/19/2014 12:49:41 PM PDT by Lmo56
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(Excerpt) Read more at travel.yahoo.com ...
“Hi, Jackie!”
Exactly. But the term is not sexist. And PC speech is all that matters now that the inmates are running the asylum.
Have to admit to on occasion using the line “Chump no want ne’ hep Chump no get ne’ hep”. Certainly draws fewer strange looks than “Have you ever seen a grown man naked?”
Another big fav is Steve Martin's King Tut. Not to thread hijack, but... lol
Whats the other ones name ?
"Fly this plane to Luton."
Right along with the insincere “What will you be having” question when the stewardess already knows what is out and what they have left. . .but ask anyway, just hoping the passenger selects what is left, that way the passenger hasn't a clue he had no choice to begin with.
(I don't like being played like that. Just tell me what is left and I'll pick from that list.)
I recall the days when passengers dressed cleanly and didn't board wearing their jammies and didn't carry a pillow, and actually bathed before flight and had the children under control.
I also remember the days when the stewardess was nice, first, then crabby if necessary. Nowaday's mostly straight to crabby.
Best stewardesses are foreign carriers from the mid-East or Asia. Not only nice but nice to look at. The 60-yr old mean stewardesses that wanted a pilot to marry and either did and now are divorced or never married one, and the union shafted them one too many times, they are mean and take it out on even quiet passengers that know flying is a pain, that flying is something to endure and something that is not fun for anyone. Business travelers, like myself (First domestic and Business international), get on, sit down, pack light with reasonable roll-on and briefcase, don't talk to the guy next to me, never page the stewardess, and simply try and sleeep. Still. . .many times just being on the jet is enough to be viewed as trash by the cabin crew.
More than half the list is just whining and bitching because the job’s “too hard.” Some items are good to know, but most are stupid.
ha! over 85% of them are homosexual. my source is a veteran, now retired stewardess with 40+ years of flying.
I met my wife on a plane. She was a flight attendant and I was getting on the plane with crutches. She asked if I needed help, I told her I could manage, she then asked me what happened to my leg. I told her the last plane I was on went down and kept going straight to my seat.
When the seat belt light went off, she came right back to ask me what really happened, by the end of the flight, I knew she was the one and I married her three months later.
No, go ahead, take the flight attendant job. Sure, I trust you. I am sure your travels will have no negative effect on our relationship.
“See a broad got to boody’ackem? Heh, heh! Leg’m down and smack’em yack’em.”
“Col got to be!”
“Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeiit!”
On one of my very first trips out of training I was sent as a reserve to Miami. After all pax were deplaned, the crew, which consisted of entirely dinosaurs except for me, the newbie, got our stuff and headed out to the gate. In the waiting area, an elderly woman was doubled over her walker and wheezing. I won’t go into the whole story because it’s long, but I will never forget the chief purser, who had probably been flying 40 years and was literally days away from retirement, turned to me, rolled her eyes at the audacity of this woman to hold up her layover, and said, “I. do. not. care. anymore!”
I walked away from that event thinking to myself, “If I ever turn that cold-hearted doing this job, I will quit.” And the moment 8 years later when I found myself in a concourse bathroom because I thought I was going to cry and realizing that I really didn’t even care enough about the job to cry anymore, I walked out of there and straight down to the crew desk and put in my notice.
LOL. That list looks very familiar. :^D
I used to go into the galley and pretend to hit my eject button when someone really pi$$ed me off. “See ya later, 4E. Have a nice trip”. It was somewhat therapeutic.
When friends ask me what we did when someone barfed on the plane, I tell them that we would sprinkle it with dry coffee grounds (to kill the smell) and cover it with a blanket. We weren’t allowed to clean it up or otherwise handle barfy things, for health reasons, so the blanket would at least cover it and serve as a warning that there was something icky under it. Think about that next time you ask for one of those airline blankets. Ewww.
I remember when we started flying certain routes, passengers would show up at the airport with live chickens and want to bring them aboard. Ummm, no. Then in the announcements, we would have to, and not just once, remind people that the toilet paper needed to go into the toilet and not on the floor or stuck to the wall. At least one bathroom would have to be locked off on these flights. It was disgusting.
I had a first class passenger get in my face about something, and when I told him I would not be able to accommodate his request (probably something to do with alcohol or food), he jabbed his finger in my chest and barked, “I pay your salary, young lady!” I grabbed his finger, and before I shoved it away from me, I retorted, “You know that is not something I would go around bragging about.” We had just received a pay cut. His timing was really lousy. ;^)
“Ma’am, Ma’am! Your baby does not go in the overhead compartment nor under the seat in front of you. You must hold her on your lap. Yes, for the entire flight. Yes, I would love to hold her.” At least until she starts crying. It is funny how the parents would just hand you their babies without a second thought.
“Are you sure you want to put Coca Cola AND sugar in your baby’s bottle? How about some milk instead?” This was on flights to the middle east and very, very common. Those poor children must have had just rotten teeth by the time they were five.
I had a First Officer hold one of those airline pillows behind my head, while facing me, and when I asked what the heck that was about, he replied that he wanted to see what I looked like in bed. I almost slapped him, but instead put him in his place with an “Only in your dreams, Flyboy.” Pig.
8<)
Lol.
That’s the first thing I thought.
Thanks.
Going to watch it on Hulu later!
I remember Singapore Airlines flight attendants being very nice.
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