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Woman embalmed, bronzed in favorite pew
Lark News ^

Posted on 03/01/2014 9:38:25 AM PST by Gamecock

MOSCOW, Idaho — Longtime church-goer Gert Rizzoli was so devoted to her spot in the pew at Featherside Congregational church that when she passed away last month, her family received permission to bronze her body and set it in the pew. Now, to the consternation of some church members, her body is permanently located in the aisle seat she occupied every Sunday for forty years.

“She loved gazing at the pastor from that spot, being the first in her row to receive Communion, having quick access to the bathroom,” says daughter Sofia. “It gave her a sense of deep, spiritual comfort.”

But fellow church-goers also remember Gert’s stiff response to anyone who tried to take her place.

One man was shooed away by Gert on several occasions when he arrived early and inadvertently took her spot, he says. Now the bronze statue serves as an irritating reminder of the encounter.

“It’s like she’s still there defending her seat,” he says.

When church members enter the sanctuary now, they can’t help but catch the glare of light off of Gert’s bronzed pate. Visitors find it inconvenient to climb over her, and children have stubbed their toes on her hardened shins.

“She was a Christ-like lady, except when it came to giving up that spot,” says a family friend. “She had a real sense of her turf. To her, it was like the Israelites: Once you get land, you don’t give it up.”

Pastor Len Kerralt, who agreed to the odd memorial, looks upon Gert’s frozen smile each Sunday from the pulpit.

“It’s nice to know at least one person is enjoying the sermon,” he quips. But others still mumble about the nuisance.

“What if more people request the same thing?” one woman asks. “Pretty soon the church will be filled with bronze statues.” •


TOPICS:
KEYWORDS: humor; satire
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To: Gamecock

Someone slide her ass over to the wall.


41 posted on 03/01/2014 10:54:48 AM PST by Husker24
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To: Gamecock

That ain’t nothin’, when my grandpa died, they bronzed him, his two horse wagon with the mules still hitched to it and him with his whiskey jug in his hand and Ol’ Henry, his coondog, by his knee , had him settin’ up in it with the jug almost to his lips but not quite. Grandma said it served him right, he never could wait to take another drink so now he can wait for eternity but he won’t never quite git another sip. It ain’t at no church though, it’s settin’ by the river at his favorite fishin’ hole. Sometimes people what ketches a lotta catfish might drop a couple in the wagon with him fur ol’ times sake. Them mules is lookin’ kinda give out now, it’s been a long time to stand in one place and not move. Some claims that when the moon is full they kin heer Ol’ Henry treein’ ‘coons, I think they’s all crazy, I know it’s jist the ghost o’ that 13 year old boy that was the bugler fur great grandpa’s outfit when he was a confederate soldier. That’s another story, ain’t got time fur it now.


42 posted on 03/01/2014 11:12:59 AM PST by RipSawyer
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To: Gamecock
Woman embalmed, bronzed in favorite pew

I think most of the parishioners in the Episcopal Church USA are not as lively as this lady, or as young.

43 posted on 03/01/2014 11:27:12 AM PST by The Sons of Liberty (Who but a TYRANT shoves down another man's throat what he has exempted himself from?)
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To: Artcore
this was posted here on FreeRepublic back in 2007.

Well then it's obviously Bush's fault!

44 posted on 03/01/2014 11:35:19 AM PST by nascarnation (I'm hiring Jack Palladino to investigate Baraq's golf scores.)
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To: Gamecock

April 1st is NEXT month. This story is a month early.


45 posted on 03/01/2014 11:46:53 AM PST by johnthebaptistmoore (The world continues to be stuck in a "all leftist, all of the time" funk. BUNK THE FUNK!)
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To: Gen.Blather
Metal coating nothing new.


46 posted on 03/01/2014 11:52:28 AM PST by Ruy Dias de Bivar (Sometimes you need 7+ more ammo. LOTS MORE.)
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To: Gamecock

I’m having the same thing done to my body after I’m gone. Only I’m going to have it perched on a barstool at my favorite pub.


47 posted on 03/01/2014 11:53:44 AM PST by SamAdams76
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To: Gamecock

I’ve seen a lot of people sitting in Congregational churches who look like that.


48 posted on 03/01/2014 12:12:34 PM PST by kaehurowing
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To: Ditter
These are creepier, imo.


49 posted on 03/01/2014 12:29:05 PM PST by bgill
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To: bgill

Is the top one supposed to be Obama?


50 posted on 03/01/2014 12:30:34 PM PST by nascarnation (I'm hiring Jack Palladino to investigate Baraq's golf scores.)
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To: Gamecock

Just hope the HVAC in that church doesn’t malfunction in the summer. The whole idea is just a bit too weird for me...


51 posted on 03/01/2014 12:45:19 PM PST by ScottinVA (Obama is so far in over his head, even his ears are beneath the water level.)
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To: bgill
Ick! I hate all the lifesized human bronzes, full body or just head and shoulders. Makes me think they were made from molds after death.
52 posted on 03/01/2014 1:04:37 PM PST by Ditter
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To: nascarnation
Yes, it's titled Grandmother Love from the graduation picture.


53 posted on 03/01/2014 2:04:08 PM PST by bgill
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To: Gamecock

Nothing Christ-like about this. So self-absorbed that she shoos a new-comer away from “her” spot? Sounds like a controlling rigid her-way-or-the-highway queen.

I wonder whose idea this was - if it was hers, well, no words to express what a self-centered nutcase she must have been. Imagine anyone thinking they’re so special, so much more important than anyone else that they need to be preserved in bronze for everyone to remember every week. Sounds like something my mother-in-law would do.


54 posted on 03/01/2014 3:44:59 PM PST by JudyinCanada
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To: Gamecock

That’s taking things just a little too far in my opinion.


55 posted on 03/01/2014 8:19:05 PM PST by Shadowstrike (Be polite, Be professional, but have a plan to kill everyone you meet.)
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To: Gamecock

That’s where we like to sit. Now we have to move.


56 posted on 03/06/2014 6:40:34 PM PST by 1010RD (First, Do No Harm)
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