'I was kidnapped by lapdancers wearing miniskirts, stilettos and Daisy Duke shorts'

Daily Mail ^ | 10 January 2014 | Claire Ellicott

[matt1234]

Three lapdancers dressed in ‘miniskirts, stilettos and Daisy Duke shorts’ kidnapped a club boss, a court was told.

Curtis Woodman said he was outside his office when the women, their female manager and two men drove up in two BMWs.

Mr Woodman said they ‘surrounded him’ before bundling him into one of the cars and driving off.

The women claimed he owed them more than £20,000 for working at his pop-up nightclub during the Cheltenham Festival in March 2012.

It is alleged that Mr Woodman was kidnapped, robbed of £60 cash and his £4,650 Breitling watch, and assaulted during a two-hour ordeal.

--SNIP--

Mr Woodman told the court in the months afterwards he had received calls demanding the money from Charlotte Devaney, 34.

On the day of the alleged incident, he said he recognised Devaney and lapdancers Mandy Cool, 29, Stephanie Pye, 31, and Rachel Goodchild, 24, when they arrived at his workplace in Tewkesbury, Gloucestershire, at around 4pm.

[dennisw]

Make this cheap b*****d pay up!!!!!!

[Sequoyah101]

The Vikings took most of the good looking Brit women, left all the guys with bad teeth, pasty complexion and pudgy genes. Missed the Welch and Irish beauties though.

[TigersEye]

Three lapdancers dressed in ‘miniskirts, stilettos and Daisy Duke shorts’ kidnapped a club boss, a court was told. Curtis Woodman said he was outside his office when the women, their female manager...

The story starts out good. Real good!

...and two men drove up in two BMWs.

But goes downhill from there.

[RichInOC]

It’s the stripper’s job to get money out of her marks.

[Stoat]

This crime obviously needs quite a bit more study. 

 

 

[Slings and Arrows]

Don’t study it too long - you’ll go blind.

[Stoat]

I'm sorry, I'm having trouble getting reading your post and the stoatputer won't make the text any larger. It's obviously some sort of technical problem.  I'll keep working on that in what little remaining time I have after pledging to study the "lap dancers in Daisy Dukes, miniskirts and stilettos" crime spree.

An early hypothesis emerges, which is that it's never a good idea to underestimate the power of a miniskirt.

  </body>

 

 

[LowOiL]

One of the longest gifs I have ever seen.

[Stoat]

Advanced Miniskirt Technology makes it all possible ;-)

[Stoat]

Continuing research reveals the monumental power of the miniskirt:

From 2005:

Iranian Leader Khamenei: Iran's Enemies Want to Destroy it with Miniskirts

http://www.memritv.org/clip/en/468.htm

[Slings and Arrows]

Note to self: Be nice to pillbugs.

[Slings and Arrows]

Where do I enlist?

[a fool in paradise]

That happened to me three times last year. It would’ve happened more often but I had a hard time locating them.

[Safetgiver]

police and officials shut the club after receiving complaints....From WHO!!?

[Chode]

[Stoat]

An entirely appropriate reminder that the miniskirt was easily one of the finest inventions of the entire 20th century ;-)

[dfwgator]

'I was kidnapped by lapdancers wearing miniskirts, stilettos and Daisy Duke shorts'

He says that as if that were a bad thing.

[dfwgator]

“So what your saying is there are only women here.. a unlimited supply of Bud Light.... and we can never leave?”

“That is correct.”

“We can live with that.”

[Chode]

yup, i actually remember girls getting sent home from school for wearing them when they first came out...

[Titan Magroyne]

>>> “Looks like Woody found out the punchline to the joke about how you make a hormone.”

By uh... stiffing her on her fee?

(Yup, catching up on pings.)

A guy named Woodman running a “pop-up nightclub.” The Onion in the guise of legit news? LOL