Posted on 12/25/2013 12:31:51 PM PST by Rebelbase
12/25/13 3:15pm
(Westfield, NC) A Stokes County family's Christmas dinner erupted into a food fight that started over a disagreement about Duck Dynasty, the A&E channel's reality television show about the Robertson family.
The Watson family was at their home-place enjoying a large gathering of grand children, nieces, nephews, cousins, aunts and uncles. "Mamma does it right every year, the food is delicious" said family member Billy Watson; "It's the only time of the year when the entire family is able to gather for an afternoon".
The Duck Dynasty controversy came up in conversation at the table while the family was enjoying a meal of ham, turkey, roast, pork roast, country steak, sausage balls, BBQ, sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, stuffing, gravy, macaroni and cheese, fried jowls, fried corn, fried chicken livers, green beans, lima beans, beets, collards, cabbage, chow-chow, cranberries, biscuits, cornbread, Pepsi and iced tea.
"One of the nephews, Bobby Fulp, married a woman from Massachusetts and they live in Boston; She thinks mighty of herself and has one of those hyphenated last names", according to Betty-Sue Watson who is Billy's wife. She continued, "The duck show came up and we all thought Mr. Robertson didn't say anything hateful and thought it funny how worked up people were getting over truthful comments. Bobby's wife took offense and called us homophones. I said I guess the truth hurts, don't it? and she wouldn't look at me. I said it again and she still wouldn't look at me. That's when I flicked a piece of biscuit at her to get her attention and all hell broke loose".
"Food was flyin' everywhere. It was almost funny until Mamma got hit in the face with mashed potatoes and gravy. Everyone stopped and Mamma just sat there for a moment with gravy dripping off her glasses. She took off the glasses and her face squished up and we all knew it was coming, she busted out crying and all of us felt horrible for ruining the meal she worked so hard to prepare".
"For a large family, we all get along just fine, except for Bobby's wife. She thinks she's better than everyone else and has Bobby wrapped around so tight we all say he's cross-eyed".
The food fight almost sparked blows between Billy Watson and his cousin Bobby Fulp as Betty-Sue Watson relates, "Billy called Bobby's wife a Yankee bitch and Bobby got riled".
The two were separated by family members and things settled down enough for the family to enjoy deserts of banana pudding, apple pie, pecan pie, peach cobbler, blackberry cobbler, Jello, chocolate meringue pie, lemon meringue pie, brownies, coconut macaroons, cheesecake, red velvet cake, fruitcake, cookies, ice-cream, cinnamon rolls, Pepsi, coffee and iced tea.
There are folks in LA (Lower Alabama) who would prefer a Pepsi instead of a Coke. In any case that is one heck of a meal!
A fanciful tale.
Nobody ever call me a homophone. Them thars fightin’ words! LOL! Funny stuff.
Really mate??? Is that what you dingo drivers do?
Whatcha do id You kick the lefty wife out and if hubby leaves? Nice seein’ you again cuz
First, gay marriage. Now, they get their own phones. What next,
homocars?
Heck had to look up Westfield, NC. That’s right up there
in Andy Griffith territory, next door to Mount Airy.
I would love to see Carol Burnette and Vicki her lookalike do this script as characters in Mama.
“She thinks mighty of herself and has one of those hyphenated last names”, according to Betty-Sue Watson ...”
Love it!
All I got left to stuff in the cannon... Uhhh mouth is some small red potatoes, carrots and MSG and bones,, too much seasoning on the prime rib can make the poodles vomit,, trust me. :-)
What’s a pitmaster make these days, civil service and all?
Sad that this family gets together once a year and they discuss Duck Dynasty. Nothing more important going on in their lives to talk about during the hour or so dinner? SAD! I got my Brother in law Duck Dynasty stuff, by find zero need to discuss anything further about the show. Too many things about family to discuss.
Stokes County
Nuff said
It really could be true..
I doubt this. Someone trying to make stereotypes fit to satisfy the caricatures. Of America outside of DC and Hollyweird.
I left off the Fried Okra, squash and oysters...That’s good.
‘called us homophones’
I had a pair of those once. I couldn’t get Madonna to play on them...
The best answer I have found:
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First let me state that if you are a homosexual or engage in such behavior Jesus still loves you but dislikes your behavior and desires for you to change. And this applies to all sinners regardless of their specific sins.
In response to the claim that no specific sermon or story is found in Scripture that Jesus may have given about specific homosexual behavior, nor is the use of the word “homosexual” specifically found in scripture, an argument from silence would be incorrect.
The Bible does not record that Jesus ever mentioned rape, incest, pedophilia, or other blatant sins by name either. That Jesus does not mention them, does not imply that we should commit these offenses against God and each other.
Jesus is very clear on the proper marriage relationship as mentioned in Matthew 19:4-5:
“Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh”
Jesus was also very clear about the concept of sexual immorality being an evil thought from within one’s own heart in Mark 7:21:
“For from within, out of men’s hearts, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery”
Additionally Jesus did not come to abolish the law but to fulfill it. While Jesus abolished the ceremonial laws of the Old Testament the moral laws of the Old Testament remain applicable.
The Bible also contains specific references to sexual immorality. Here are some examples in fact in the OT that were so serious it was a capital offence.
Leviticus 18:22 ‘Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman; that is detestable.
Leviticus 20:13 “ ‘If a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They must be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads.
I Cor 6:9-10 “Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God”
Jude 1:7 “In a similar way, Sodom and Gomorrah and the surrounding towns gave themselves up to sexual immorality and perversion. They serve as an example of those who suffer the punishment of eternal fire”
In fact there are at least 9 specific references in the Bible (at least 4 in the OT and 5 in the NT about homosexuality and none are in support of it.
If God the Father, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit are all God, and as God never changes, therefore God never condones homosexual behavior, or any sin. It is simply that logical. Even though Jesus did not specifically mention it by name while he walked on this earth, it is still a sin.
Source(s):
biblegateway.com
Strongs Exhustive Concordance
Gill’s Concordance
*****************************
Remark:
Homosexuals try to erase their sin and claim that Jesus does not condemn their lifestyle. When challenged, they counter that Jesus never mentions homosexuality as a sin, therefore what they do is somehow not immoral. When confronted with logic and facts, homosexuals plead as victims claiming the willful failure of society to accept them is hypocritical, because heterosexuals also commit sexual acts that are deemed sinful and immoral.
That heterosexuals also sin is true. The difference is that heterosexuals are not trying to destroy the precepts of the Church, or are trying to put people out of work or close their businesses because people react against homosexual sin in a manner that is felt to be offensive by homosexuals.
A non-sexual example would be when an alcoholic appears drunk inside a Church. A priest may love the person who is drunk and be heartbroken to see his condition, but refuses to reverse views of such gluttony as anything but sinful.
It does not follow that drunks should be allowed to force the Church or its Priest through legal action to accept drunkenness as a lifestyle, or to bar its members from calling them out as ‘alcoholics’ or ‘drunkards’.
Sin is sin, The Church exists to help the sinner become aware of the sin and how to deal with it.
All people are born in sin and through thought or deed have committed sin. There is no way to avoid it. Because of this, Churches are not perfect as they are conducted by people who are inherently sinful. But the Church is a place where people can try and do better, to be less sinful and strive to be sin-free. But first they must acknowledge their sin.
For the wedding florist in Washington State who could not in good conscience create a floral arrangement for a homosexual ‘wedding’, her reasoning was that each floral arrangement was a creation of the heart and that her religious conviction was harmed knowing her creation would be used in perverted sin. And yet a prosecutor gave her notice that if she did not comply with ordinances regarding same-sex weddings, that she would be fined $1000 per day and subject to imprisonment. Thus, she was called to abet the sin.
Make no mistake, this matter of homosexuality in our day is ultimately, as it has always been intended, an attack on the Church.
Thank you. Cabbage, cornbread, and biscuits? At Christmas dinner? No sir and no ma’am.
As a yankee (aspiring to be a “damn yankee”) I like “tea, unsweet” ‘cause sweet tea is too sweet for me. F’get pepsi — I'm allergic to the stuff. At least I was the last time I had one in ‘64 and barfed it up in the Pepsi pavilion's moat at the world's fair.
As for the “womyn” from Massachusetts — I've had them yell at me for holding the door. Not a lot, but enough to disgust.
Thanks for the laughs on Christmas day.
maybe a cola or a pop but never would a southerner confuse Pepsi and Coke.
And sweet tea is never intended or implied…. it is always spoken
oh yes I have my complaint is not about the size of the meal it was about specifics. If you are going to try satire it must be accurate and not a yankee’s version of what they think is correct
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