[Rebelbase]

The author served as an infantryman in Afghanistan.

[Rebelbase]

[jsanders2001]

I guess Yoda will have to show them how it’s done

[a fool in paradise]

Then there's that whole repeal of the Don't Ask Don't Tell thing...

[SkyDancer]

I’ve always wondered how the length of the light would just stop maybe three feet. OTOH, got caught thinking the story was true until near the end. Funny.

[KarlInOhio]

Could be worse. Imagine a bunch of ravers pumped up on ecstacy dancing with these instead of glow sticks.

[bigbob]

May the farts be with you!

[RandallFlagg]

I wonder if they used my idea.

All known matter is surrounded by a kind of cloud of electrons. Electrons are electrically neutral. This is why my fingers are able to push down on these keys as I type: Like charges repel each other.

What if, through some collossal blunder of physics, the atoms of my fingers were surrounded by a cloud of positively charged electrons (Called Positrons)? My fingers would then pass through the keyboard, causing a shearing effect that would seperate the matter at the atomic level, and damaging the keyboard and my fingers.

If a controllable beam of positrons were to be emitted in a preset area and stream, it would pass through all known forms of matter. In fact, the only thing that would halt such a shearing effect would be another beam of positrons.

We are already able to make electrons pretty much do what we want (stunguns, Tesla Coils, etc.). How difficult would it be to do the same with positrons?

As a lifesaving tool, it would effortlessly cut through steel, concrete and anything else the user wished. As a weapon, it would bore holes through armor thicker than anything currently known. Anything made of atoms would be influenced by a positron beam.

That's the theory. Putting it in a package the size of a chrome flashlight, however.....

Blast from the past.

[LucianOfSamasota]

These aren’t the marines you’re looking for...

[ImJustAnotherOkie]

The only thing more devastating to morale would be lie detector glasses.

I guess the Air Force poked holes in the Men’s showers?

[KitJ]

Hokey religions and ancient magic are no match for a good blaster at your side!

(Han Shot First!)

[KC_Lion]

It is not as Clumsy or Random as a Blaster.

An elegant weapon from a more...civilized age.

[editor-surveyor]

>> “and a Marine was flown to Germany for surgery after joking to a female, “is that a lightsaber in my pocket or am I just happy to see you?” <<

.
What is missing from this anecdote?

[pleasenotcalifornia]

Remember the words of Dark Helmet, “Its not how big it is but how you use it!”

[CrazyIvan]

One of those would make a great bayonet for my 40 watt phased plasma rifle.

[PastorBooks]

Ok... this is satire, right?

I just never know anymore.

[MUDDOG]

Wasting money on this stuff when it could be going to Major Ed Dames and remote viewing.

[Vince Ferrer]

I though I was going to see some epic lightsaber battles from Marines or something:

Ryan vs Dorkman