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The Real Reason Couples Have SexTwo New Studies Examine What Motivates Couples to Have Sex
Wall Street Journal ^ | 21 October 2013 | Elizabeth Bernstein

Posted on 10/26/2013 9:39:29 PM PDT by Vigilanteman

For years, Julie Brinton's days have been filled with sippy cups and skinned knees, and the endless push of getting three young children through dinner time, bath time, bedtime. By the time she crawls into bed each night, she has one thing on her mind: zoning out to an hour or so of TV.

But some nights, her husband, Rob, reaches over to rub her shoulders and offer her a back rub. And then Ms. Brinton thinks: "Has it really been three weeks? I guess we should probably have sex."

"I will do it for him," says Ms. Brinton, 34, who lives in Mesa, Ariz.

Mr. Brinton, also 34, appreciates his wife's gesture. "But afterward," he says, "I always feel guilty, that I've been selfish."

Ah, marital sex.

Therapists have long known that couples who have more, and better, sex are happier and more stable.

But new research from the University of Toronto shows that the reasons why partners have sex in the first place also significantly affect marital satisfaction. And a person's motive for making love tonight may make a difference to the health of his or her relationship months from now.

(Excerpt) Read more at online.wsj.com ...


TOPICS: Society
KEYWORDS: couples; relationshops; sex
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To: Ouderkirk

Ah yes, but when you crash after having sex, you generally wake up refreshed in the morning. Even after the “all-nighters” I had when I was younger.


21 posted on 10/26/2013 10:47:15 PM PDT by Vigilanteman (Obama: Fake black man. Fake Messiah. Fake American. How many fakes can you fit in one Zer0?)
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To: Vigilanteman

I ain’t as good as I once was, but I’m as good once as I ever was.


22 posted on 10/26/2013 10:51:09 PM PDT by Veggie Todd (I don't always talk to Obama voters, but when I do I ask for Large Fries.)
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To: Vigilanteman

Speaking from a womans perspective....”all-nighters” are fondly remembered....I never understood why they went on and on and on effortlessly ....might be both were really wrapped up in the moments and each other as these were never planned for.


23 posted on 10/26/2013 11:05:53 PM PDT by caww
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To: Vigilanteman

With today’s women and gay aids privacy, you will get more truth and safety from a prostitute in the red light district.


24 posted on 10/26/2013 11:20:18 PM PDT by lavaroise
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To: caww

Isn’t that the truth? Absolutely paradoxical as to how something can be so exciting and stimulating and yet so relaxing at the same time. I never recall waking up from one exhausted.


25 posted on 10/26/2013 11:40:10 PM PDT by Vigilanteman (Obama: Fake black man. Fake Messiah. Fake American. How many fakes can you fit in one Zer0?)
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To: Vigilanteman

She had no idea going in that having children is hard work, stressful and tiring? How many millions of years have we been having kids?


26 posted on 10/26/2013 11:46:48 PM PDT by 2ndDivisionVet (Ted Cruz/Sarah Palin 2016)
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To: Veggie Todd

Very clever Toby song, I always got a kick out of it.


27 posted on 10/27/2013 12:49:30 AM PDT by AllAmericanGirl44 ('Hey citizen, what's in YOUR closet?')
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To: Vigilanteman
Clearly, someone is doing something wrong, or there is something wrong in the marriage.

Sex is something both should look forward to, not a 'duty'.

28 posted on 10/27/2013 1:46:18 AM PDT by fortheDeclaration (Pr 14:34 Righteousness exalteth a nation:but sin is a reproach to any people)
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To: Vigilanteman

You mean... it’s not sex?


29 posted on 10/27/2013 1:46:24 AM PDT by aquila48
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To: Vigilanteman

I guess liberals have a difficult time understanding why we are not homosexuals.


30 posted on 10/27/2013 2:14:36 AM PDT by CodeToad (Liberals are bloodsucking ticks. We need to light the matchstick to burn them off. -786 +969)
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To: Vigilanteman

“Practice makes perfect.”


31 posted on 10/27/2013 2:51:40 AM PDT by clearcarbon
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To: Vigilanteman
I always feel guilty, that I've been selfish."

Beer helps soothe the conscience......

32 posted on 10/27/2013 3:13:50 AM PDT by Hot Tabasco (Make sure you have removed the kleenex from your pockets before doing laundry)
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To: clearcarbon

Or as my husband, the pilot, likes to quote from Black Adder-

Flash: Always treat your kite like you treat your woman.

George: How do you mean, sir, take her at home on weekends to meet your mother?

Flash: No. I mean get inside her five times a day and take her to heaven and back!!


33 posted on 10/27/2013 3:46:55 AM PDT by pops88 (Geek chick standing with Breitbart for truth)
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To: Ouderkirk

I’m in love with a pilot; also, son of a pilot & father of a pilot (Ace). All of them are better pilots, so my love life better stay on top of its game! HA!


34 posted on 10/27/2013 4:25:24 AM PDT by Ace's Dad (Proud grandpa of a newly born "Brit Chick" named Poppy Loucks!)
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To: FAA
Hey, when I was 34 (just a couple years ago) a few weeks between events was no thing. And we had no kids. We were mainly just wore the Hell out from work.

When I was 34, more than a few years ago, a few hours between events was a very big thing and I worked between 60-70 hours per week.

35 posted on 10/27/2013 4:27:51 AM PDT by USS Alaska (If I could...I would.)
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To: Paladin2

He might have!


36 posted on 10/27/2013 4:32:15 AM PDT by Jack Hydrazine (IÂ’m not a Republican, I'm a Conservative! Pubbies haven't been conservative since before T.R.)
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To: Vigilanteman

Went to the link, but I stopped reading after I got to this one:

Both studies were what researchers call “daily diary” studies. In the first, 108 heterosexual dating couples completed a survey every day for two weeks.

***
Dating couples? What in the heck does that have to do with married couples and their connubial behavior?

Boy, “dating” has taken on an entirely different meaning since I was young. My dates usually took me to a movie, then to a hamburger place, and then the young man would drive me to my house and walk me to the door. If we had been on several dates before this, I most likely gave him a goodnight kiss and then went into the house by myself.


37 posted on 10/27/2013 4:37:58 AM PDT by Bigg Red (Let me hear what God the LORD will speak. -Ps85)
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To: fortheDeclaration

You have never been a mother, right?


38 posted on 10/27/2013 4:47:00 AM PDT by Bigg Red (Let me hear what God the LORD will speak. -Ps85)
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To: Vigilanteman

what did this useless study cost? people have sex for pleasure of it or MONEY!


39 posted on 10/27/2013 4:48:32 AM PDT by GailA (THOSE WHO DON'T KEEP PROMISES TO THE MILITARY, WON'T KEEP THEM TO U!)
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To: fortheDeclaration
Sex is something both should look forward to, not a 'duty'.

Absolutely right. Whenever I hear someone regard it as a "duty", I am horrified and disgusted. It usually means one of two things: either one has a terrible, selfish lover or one has some awful hang-ups instilled by upbringing.

Sex in marriage is for both to enjoy and for both to please one another.

40 posted on 10/27/2013 6:14:21 AM PDT by EricT. (Freedom is slavery. Ignorance is strength. Big brother is watching you.)
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