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***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD***
Posted on 08/09/2013 5:54:39 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
President Obama walks into a local bank in Chicago to cash a check. He is surrounded by Secret Service agents. As he approaches the cashier he says, "Good morning Ma'am, could you please cash this check for me?"
Cashier:"It would be my pleasure sir. Could you please show me your ID?"
Obama: "Truthfully, I did not bring my ID with me as I didn't think there was any need to. I am President Barack Obama, the President of the United States of AMERICA !!!!"
Cashier: "Yes sir, I know who you are, but with all the regulations and monitoring of the banks because of 9/11, impostors, forgers, money laundering, and bad mortgage underwriting not to mention requirements of the Dodd/Frank legislation, etc., I must insist on seeing ID."
Obama: “Just ask anyone here at the bank who I am and they will tell you. Everybody knows who I am."
Cashier: "I am sorry Mr. President but these are the bank rules and I must follow them."
Obama: "I am urging you, please, to cash this check. I need to buy a gift for Michelle for her next vacation"
Cashier: "Look Mr. President, here is an example of what we can do. One day, Tiger Woods came into one of our bank branches without ID. To prove he was Tiger Woods he pulled out his putter and made a beautiful shot across the bank into a coffee cup. With that shot we knew him to be Tiger Woods and cashed his check. Another time, Andre Agassi came into the same place without ID. He pulled out his tennis racquet and made a fabulous shot where as the tennis ball landed in a coffee cup. With that shot we cashed his check."
"So, Mr. President, what can you do to prove that it is you, and only you, as the President of the United States?"
Obama: Obama stands there thinking, and thinking, and finally says, "Honestly, my mind is a total blank...there is nothing that comes to my mind. I can't think of a single thing. I have absolutely no idea what to do and I don’t have a clue.”
Cashier: "Will that be large or small bills, Mr. President?
U.S. embassies are closed all around the Middle East this week due to a terrorist threat. What happened was the U.S. intercepted a conference call of 20 al-Qaida operatives. Twenty on one conference call! Who is their carrier? I go under a bridge and my cellphone drops the call, but they can get 20 people in one call from a cave? ~ Jay Leno
TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: ofst; security; silliness; weak
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To: Lucky9teen
Is the costume really needed? That’s a funny-looking dog, costume or not.
81
posted on
08/09/2013 9:26:25 AM PDT
by
Gil4
(Progressives - Trying to repeal the Law of Supply and Demand since 1848)
To: a fool in paradise; Daffynition
82
posted on
08/09/2013 9:40:40 AM PDT
by
Lucky9teen
("The only thing worse than a knee-jerk liberal is a knee-pad conservative." ~ Edward Abbey)
To: EQAndyBuzz
83
posted on
08/09/2013 10:49:38 AM PDT
by
Lucky9teen
("The only thing worse than a knee-jerk liberal is a knee-pad conservative." ~ Edward Abbey)
To: Lucky9teen
84
posted on
08/09/2013 11:01:59 AM PDT
by
N. Theknow
(Kennedys=Can't drive, can't ski, can't fly, can't skipper a boat, but they know what's best for you.)
To: N. Theknow
How to test a battery
A simple method to test any alkaline battery in seconds! Works on AA, AAA, C, D batteries.
85
posted on
08/09/2013 11:20:31 AM PDT
by
Lucky9teen
("The only thing worse than a knee-jerk liberal is a knee-pad conservative." ~ Edward Abbey)
To: wyokostur
86
posted on
08/09/2013 11:26:46 AM PDT
by
Lucky9teen
("The only thing worse than a knee-jerk liberal is a knee-pad conservative." ~ Edward Abbey)
To: Liberty Valance
87
posted on
08/09/2013 11:31:27 AM PDT
by
Lucky9teen
("The only thing worse than a knee-jerk liberal is a knee-pad conservative." ~ Edward Abbey)
To: Cyber Liberty
88
posted on
08/09/2013 11:47:17 AM PDT
by
Lucky9teen
("The only thing worse than a knee-jerk liberal is a knee-pad conservative." ~ Edward Abbey)
To: Lucky9teen
89
posted on
08/09/2013 11:49:24 AM PDT
by
BenLurkin
(This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both.)
To: Arrowhead1952
There. That, should piss off just about everybody..... LOL. Well done.
90
posted on
08/09/2013 12:11:08 PM PDT
by
zeugma
(Be a truechimer, not a falseticker!)
To: justlurking
But, I think they were all intended to be frozen, like a margarita. I dated a girl named Margarita, the reason we broke up was that she was already frigid.
91
posted on
08/09/2013 1:59:13 PM PDT
by
verga
(A nation divided by Zero!)
To: Lucky9teen
92
posted on
08/09/2013 2:02:08 PM PDT
by
Liberty Valance
(Keep a simple manner for a happy life :o)
To: NEMDF
Thank you for the birthday wish. I, unfortunately, have been at work all day thus far. My wife has plans, but has not seen fit to share them with me, yet. She likes surprises.
93
posted on
08/09/2013 2:43:06 PM PDT
by
SoldierDad
(Proud dad of an Army Soldier who has survived 24 months of Combat deployment.)
To: Lucky9teen
Useful science! Thanks Lucky!
94
posted on
08/09/2013 2:43:12 PM PDT
by
secret garden
(Why procrastinate when you can perendinate?)
To: Liberty Valance
95
posted on
08/09/2013 3:53:39 PM PDT
by
Lucky9teen
("The only thing worse than a knee-jerk liberal is a knee-pad conservative." ~ Edward Abbey)
To: Cyber Liberty; Old Sarge
I did the Wiki thing on “Mel Reynolds” the other day (got the same email) and there was no mention of ‘youth counselor’, but the rest rang pretty true.
96
posted on
08/09/2013 4:02:02 PM PDT
by
ErnBatavia
(Carlos Danger for mayor....NYC deserves him)
To: Lucky9teen
"The plane, boss! The plane!"
97
posted on
08/09/2013 4:07:39 PM PDT
by
ErnBatavia
(Carlos Danger for mayor....NYC deserves him)
To: Lucky9teen
The birds in that cat video look like they’re saying “hey, let’s you and him fight.”
98
posted on
08/09/2013 4:17:00 PM PDT
by
jespasinthru
(Proud member of the Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy.)
To: Lucky9teen
Left to right (screen left, not patient left)
Bob Hope, Marion John Wayne, Ronald Reagan, Dean Martin, Frank Sinatra.
I’m only 43.
99
posted on
08/09/2013 6:23:46 PM PDT
by
ro_dreaming
(Chesterton, 'Christianity has not been tried and found wanting. ItÂ’s been found hard and not tried')
To: ro_dreaming
John Wayne’s real name is Marion Robert Morrison.
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