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***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD***
Posted on 08/09/2013 5:54:39 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
President Obama walks into a local bank in Chicago to cash a check. He is surrounded by Secret Service agents. As he approaches the cashier he says, "Good morning Ma'am, could you please cash this check for me?"
Cashier:"It would be my pleasure sir. Could you please show me your ID?"
Obama: "Truthfully, I did not bring my ID with me as I didn't think there was any need to. I am President Barack Obama, the President of the United States of AMERICA !!!!"
Cashier: "Yes sir, I know who you are, but with all the regulations and monitoring of the banks because of 9/11, impostors, forgers, money laundering, and bad mortgage underwriting not to mention requirements of the Dodd/Frank legislation, etc., I must insist on seeing ID."
Obama: Just ask anyone here at the bank who I am and they will tell you. Everybody knows who I am."
Cashier: "I am sorry Mr. President but these are the bank rules and I must follow them."
Obama: "I am urging you, please, to cash this check. I need to buy a gift for Michelle for her next vacation"
Cashier: "Look Mr. President, here is an example of what we can do. One day, Tiger Woods came into one of our bank branches without ID. To prove he was Tiger Woods he pulled out his putter and made a beautiful shot across the bank into a coffee cup. With that shot we knew him to be Tiger Woods and cashed his check. Another time, Andre Agassi came into the same place without ID. He pulled out his tennis racquet and made a fabulous shot where as the tennis ball landed in a coffee cup. With that shot we cashed his check."
"So, Mr. President, what can you do to prove that it is you, and only you, as the President of the United States?"
Obama: Obama stands there thinking, and thinking, and finally says, "Honestly, my mind is a total blank...there is nothing that comes to my mind. I can't think of a single thing. I have absolutely no idea what to do and I dont have a clue.
Cashier: "Will that be large or small bills, Mr. President?
U.S. embassies are closed all around the Middle East this week due to a terrorist threat. What happened was the U.S. intercepted a conference call of 20 al-Qaida operatives. Twenty on one conference call! Who is their carrier? I go under a bridge and my cellphone drops the call, but they can get 20 people in one call from a cave? ~ Jay Leno
TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: ofst; security; silliness; weak
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To: BenLurkin
Oh, now that’s just so dystopian it’s freaky...
61
posted on
08/09/2013 8:35:27 AM PDT
by
Old Sarge
(My "KMA List" is growing daily...)
To: llevrok
Barbie turns 50
62
posted on
08/09/2013 8:36:00 AM PDT
by
Lucky9teen
("The only thing worse than a knee-jerk liberal is a knee-pad conservative." ~ Edward Abbey)
To: Old Sarge; All
Can you name all 5?
63
posted on
08/09/2013 8:37:53 AM PDT
by
Lucky9teen
("The only thing worse than a knee-jerk liberal is a knee-pad conservative." ~ Edward Abbey)
To: Lucky9teen
Jokey Smurf, Grouchy Smurf, Poppa Smurf, Handsome Smurf and Gargamel.
64
posted on
08/09/2013 8:40:10 AM PDT
by
BenLurkin
(This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both.)
To: Lucky9teen
All five what? I didn’t see the original post?
65
posted on
08/09/2013 8:46:08 AM PDT
by
Old Sarge
(My "KMA List" is growing daily...)
To: a fool in paradise
66
posted on
08/09/2013 8:47:57 AM PDT
by
Cyber Liberty
(Justice for Trayvon: Dig up his body and shoot him again.)
To: Lucky9teen
To: Lucky9teen
Jesse Jackson’s Newest Staff Member
Mel Reynolds
Jesse Jackson has added former Chicago Democrat Congressman Mel to Rainbow/PUSH Coalition’s payroll. Reynolds was among the 176 criminals excused in President Clinton’s last-minute forgiveness spree. Reynolds received a commutation of his six-and-a-half-year federal sentence for 15 convictions of wire fraud, bank fraud, and lies to the Federal Election Commission. He is more notorious, however, for concurrently serving five years for sleeping with an underage campaign volunteer.
This is a first in American politics: An ex-congressman who had sex with a subordinate....won clemency from a president who had sex with a subordinate...then was hired by a clergyman who had sex with a subordinate!
His new job? Ready for this??
***YOUTH COUNSELOR***
IS THIS A GREAT COUNTRY OR WHAT?
To: relentlessly
69
posted on
08/09/2013 8:52:58 AM PDT
by
Old Sarge
(My "KMA List" is growing daily...)
To: Cyber Liberty
I thought it was Cousin Oliver.
To: Lucky9teen
Bob Hope, John Wayne, Ronald Reagan, Dean Martin, and Frank Sinatra.
But they’re all partying in Heaven now.
OMGoodness, I’m OLD!
To: Old Sarge
72
posted on
08/09/2013 8:59:55 AM PDT
by
Cyber Liberty
(Justice for Trayvon: Dig up his body and shoot him again.)
To: Lucky9teen
Redneck abs:
73
posted on
08/09/2013 9:04:04 AM PDT
by
ErnBatavia
(Carlos Danger for mayor....NYC deserves him)
To: Old Sarge
74
posted on
08/09/2013 9:04:27 AM PDT
by
Lucky9teen
("The only thing worse than a knee-jerk liberal is a knee-pad conservative." ~ Edward Abbey)
To: TheOldLady; Lucky9teen
Ah, THAT pic. I got that Facebooked to me earlier this morning.
A Duke, a President, and a Chairman of the Board.
75
posted on
08/09/2013 9:07:38 AM PDT
by
Old Sarge
(My "KMA List" is growing daily...)
To: Cyber Liberty
Oh, I don’t doubt it in the least.
Moral bankruptcy is a resume enhancer for Leftists.
76
posted on
08/09/2013 9:08:35 AM PDT
by
Old Sarge
(My "KMA List" is growing daily...)
To: ErnBatavia
77
posted on
08/09/2013 9:09:36 AM PDT
by
Lucky9teen
("The only thing worse than a knee-jerk liberal is a knee-pad conservative." ~ Edward Abbey)
To: Lucky9teen
78
posted on
08/09/2013 9:19:01 AM PDT
by
Liberty Valance
(Keep a simple manner for a happy life :o)
To: Lucky9teen
To: Lucky9teen
Funny, at that time the dude in the middle was the only Democrat.
80
posted on
08/09/2013 9:20:41 AM PDT
by
EQAndyBuzz
(The reason we own guns is to protect ourselves from those wanting to take our guns from us.)
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