Missouri Rancher Discovers Three Mutilated Cows; UFO Group Investigating Alien Theory

riverfronttimes ^ | Wed., Jul. 31 2013 | Jessica Lussenhop

[JoeProBono]

Lyn Mitchell, a Missouri rancher living about 80 miles from Kansas City, has reported three cow deaths on her property. That wouldn't be unusual were it not for the state the carcasses were found in.

The most recent cow was discovered in the field, her tongue removed, her teats cut off, her heart removed and dangling outside of her body. When the rancher moved her, there was a strange, char-like pattern in the dead grass.

What does all this mean? One theory: alien experimentation.

Mitchell told news station KSHB that she's open to the possibility that these bizarre surgeries were performed by aliens who touched down on her property. Daily RFT would like to posit a slightly more plausible but equally worrisome solution: A total freaking psycho is loose in Henry County and he/she is now the proud owner of cow cadaver anus, udder, tongue and teats and doing who knows what with them.

To that end, we put in a call to the Henry County sheriff's department to find out what they have in terms of human leads -- we'll update if we hear back.

[Windflier]

When animals die OTHER animals come and eat the softest parts first... which happen to be (can anyone guess?)

Yes, and they do it with the precision of a surgeon.....

Read up on some of these cases. They're completely unlike normal animal predation.

[jboot]

Interesting (and sad) story. Thanks for sharing. The “laser cut incision” is a common detail in cattle mutilation stories. I’m not aware of any natural decomp process that produces clean incisions. Cleanly excised or “scooped” eyes, tongues, genitals and anuses are normal decomp (caused by rodent scavenging, to be precise), but sharp, clean incisions are not normal. Not at all.

[PoloSec]

The good news is aliens have a proclivity toward the not so tasty parts.

We can survive.

[no-to-illegals]

Joe, took me a while, but have figured this out. Kathleen Sebelius is on the loose. These are obamacare health care provisions for cows. If Kathleen is doing this to cows wait till she gets to us.

[Bigg Red]

satanic ritual

**
My thought, as well.

[himno hero]

Just go to Mac Donalds for a big mac. 14 years ago, north Korea used to be the largest importer of beef bung, until Mac Donalds entered the market.

mmmm mmmm mmm

All beef burger! A big what?

It redefines a Mac attack!

[himno hero]

Like Paul said....

Why does everyone think we are here to probe them? Are we here to harvest farts or what?

[JoeProBono]

[ontap]

WOOF! WOOF!

[null and void]

Using the TWA-800 ping list because nothing else quite fits...

[4yearlurker]

Probably Killer Whales. They love beef tongue.

[JoeProBono]

[GBA]

Maybe a Sharknado touched down in Missouri?
That place get some nasty weather.

[null and void]

Dunno, but the cows were definitely put out of their Missouri...

[JoeProBono]

[Sirius Lee]

[SkyDancer]

Mars Attacks. Opening scene.

[GBA]

That’s so bad it actually hurt.

[SunkenCiv]

I remember a dopey “explanation” for the 1980s-90s cattle mutilation flap — some joker claimed that drug dealers landed their choppers in the middle of the night in these big ranchy expanses, the other party ran late, they got bored, and cut up some cattle. Y’know, and they did this dozens of times, spread out over a number of western states, most of the sites lying outside their flight range assuming a takeoff point s of the border. :’)

[GeronL]

Now why couldn’t this guy find some coins from the 1300’s??

No... it had to be a Chupacabre attack, sharing a snack with bigfoot...